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Well, shit.

by statia on November 29, 2015

Hey, does anyone actually have this shit still in their feed? Does RSS even exist anymore, or in the two years since I’ve blogged (and the other 3-4 years where I checked out because children and work were definitely NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN)?

So if anyone actually still ever checks this bullshit and we’re not friends on facebook, I figured I’d give a very quick update to my whereabouts. (sorry, if I’ve never really had a conversation with you, a message saying how you know me, if you were to friend me on facebook, is kind of necessary for me to friend you. It’s a comfort thing, you know how it is).

The kids are now eight and six. And one will be NINE in March. Which is so not far away. I know this, because I remember when I was pregnant with him. It feels like yesterday (my ribs still hurt, or that’s phantom pain… Maybe I should go to the doctor).  But I’m trying to make this brief, so I’ll be quick with it, because while I miss dumping my thoughts here, this is a defunct blog, and I’m already BREAKING FUCKING RULES, HERE.

Mini is almost nine. He is doing well. He no longer has support at school, currently, but he will come fifth grade. He currently has an ADHD diganosis, with probably mild Autism, like his father. He’s so smart and is doing well in school. He is in third grade, and we all love his teacher to the point of wanting to make her an honorary family member. After a rough year last year for him, it’s all good.  Like most other nine year-olds, he loves all things Minecraft, Yugi-Oh and Pokémon. They are all the bane of my existence.  He will also definitely surpass his mother in the sarcasm arena. Maybe. If I let him. But suffice to say, his sarcasm is ON POINT (current pop culture reference for extra points!)!

Little Miss is 6 (AND A HALF, GOD MOM), going on 18, naturally. Because she is a girl and a Taurus. She is in first grade and loves her teacher. I love that she goes to the same place all day for 7 hours with her brother. I mean, I love that both of them go. I don’t want to sound like I don’t dislike both of them equally or anything. She also loves her first grade teacher, proclaiming on the first day “Mom, I love her, she NEVER YELLS.” Looking at me, like I could take a page out of this woman’s book.  If that girl only knew.  She also loves everything her brother does, because she idolizes him. She also loves drawing and anything crafty. She hates being outside.

They are both kind and loving kids. Also very funny.

Let’s see: Other banal updates:

Mia is still with us. She’s going blind now, but slowly, so that’s a plus. She’s 10 and overall, in perfect health otherwise. She’s become my little shadow since Gromit passed. I still miss him like crazy, every day. And his ashes and paw print (and picture) sit next to my bed, always and forever.

We still have two Siamese cats. Perry and Chloe. Chloe is my little buddy. Mia and Chloe have a pact. That they must be near me at all times, in case one gets petted and the other one doesn’t. Women are bitches!

We still love the house we moved into a couple of years ago, despite having had to replace everything in it. But it’s an older house. We are currently waiting to start our next project, which is adding a dormer and a bathroom upstairs, so that we can finally stop hitting our heads on the sloped ceiling. So right now, our bedroom is temporarily located in the basement. It’s never a dull moment in the Manger household, that’s for sure.

Me? I’m doing OK. A year and a half ago, I decided that the extra baby weight I had been carrying around for five years, was finally way too long. I know mothers who just decide to keep it forever, or some mothers who don’t want it, but just can’t find the time or energy to work it off. That’s not a judge, because if you’re a mom, you know that even your own secret bathroom that no one knew about would be found by your toddler.  It’s inevitable.

Anyway, I had been working out, mom style. But I just got fed up and decided to get serious. I switched it all up and dropped 25lbs over the last year… and gained some muscle.

IMG_4401 GAINZ BRAH! gainz Handling my shit.


I can’t say that I’m not proud of that shit. Because I am. It was a lot of hard work, and sacrifice. It was worth it. Over the last year, I’ve discovered exactly how shitty my untreated reflux is. I have a hernia now. And that’s just that. So I have to actually eat better, because all of the shitty foods (aka, the foods you really want to eat, instead of salad) make me feel nauseated if I eat too much of it. I’m not saying that to be an asshole, because I love cake like I love air. But cake wants me to take smaller bites and eat less, in order for others to also enjoy the cake (FINE, TAKE SOME CAKE). So my body was really just finding a way for me to listen so that I would share.  The good thing is, there’s an alternative way for me to get rid of extra energy.  And now that the kids are in school, the time is there. Because did you think I would be a normal housewife? Fuck that.

I turned FORTY in August. That was part of the reason for my weight lifting ramp up. (It makes the weight come off a lot easier… just an FYI, middle aged ladies. That’s right, we’re fucking middle aged now). Forty. Forty sounds like you went binge drinking with friends and then had to stop in the middle to vomit in the bushes to make room for more alchohol. FOOOOOOOOORTY. Just say it like you’re vomiting. I’ll wait.

Go ahead.

Yeah, it sucks. There aren’t many ages you can do that with. So it’s confirmed that FORTY is the worst. Because you sound like that, but are you really binge drinking with friends on a Saturday night at FORTY? Nope. Probably not.

The Meester ended up surprising me with my hot internet wife. It was a nine month surprise. So her basically showing up in my driveway, from England, was the birth. It was such a fantastic gift, that you don’t really have to wonder why the Meester is still my main squeeze.

Anyway, to wrap up this long blog post that was supposed to be a few sentences to just say that I am onto another venture. Once the kids went back to school, the Meester gave me this look like “Soooo, are you ever going to go back to work?” My voice was squeaky when I said it: “You mean like corporate America?”

I could never go back to corporate America.  Thankfully, we are fortunate that the Meester can support us and I can be the weirdo I am. I now have the time and the ability to go back to being creative.  And because I missed the youtube boom, thanks to gestating and putting all of my energy into the Mini’s therapy, and other baby things that mattered more than working.  Sure there was DIY and I still do some DIY, but it was a way for me to maintain some sense of sanity amidst the brightly colored Fisher-Price nonsense that littered the floor space of my house. I still love it, but it’s not a career for me. I wanted to do something more artistic.

Remember this bullshit?  I’ve decided that this was pretty fun. So I took the idea and ran with it to youtube. I’m calling it Jaded Story Time. I don’t have lofty goals of being the next big thing. I am just having fun, and if I can manage to scrape some extra cash together to put into our vacation fund, it would be cool. If not, I’m the luckiest girl in the world, to have a husband who lets me be me. But seriously, if you could go over there and check it out, because this also a huge exercise in becoming more comfortable with myself.

So, this was longer than I anticipated, but that’s that. If you’re looking to catch up with me, there you go. Once in a while, I get a bee in my bonnet. Or a hare up my ass, or a pitch in my tent and I go all nostalgic. Looking back on the blog posts of others, from the good old days. But I also like to know what some of my favorite people are up to. And I know that goes both ways. So there you go. Subscribe over there and say hi, if you catch up with me over there. I also have instagram and tumblr and twitter too. Tumblr is pretty much vacant, but I occasionally post on the the other two.


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