So, a lot of you come here for poop talk, right? I mean, I’ve never been one to disappoint you when it comes to discussing bodily functions. Oddly, I wasn’t raised in a house where we readily and frequently discussed poop. I don’t think my mother ever farted, and my father, was the type to let them rip in the comfort of his own home. But it wasn’t something that was brought attention to.
I suppose growing up around a lot of boy cousins had a lot to do with it. But anyway…
I have this issue with my colon. It hates me. I don’t know how to describe it, except to call it, maybe, the shopping effect. It started out with just Hallmark. I’m not sure why, but Hallmark has always been my poop button. Maybe it’s the smells, causing my colon to march forth with needing that exact moment to expel waste, but it’s annoying, because who goes to Hallmark to browse? I’m usually there on an important card buying mission.
Lately, though, it’s been extended to Target. It never fails. No matter how empty I am, if I go to Target (specifically by myself, which is a rarity), I will inevitably have to go so badly, that I either have to leave (what, like you don’t have going home issues?), or will have to walk like I have a giant stick up my ass, which isn’t enjoyable. And now it’s starting to happen at more stores. Toys R Us, Costco, the ENTIRE MALL. I can’t have a pleasant shopping experience anymore.
I’ve discussed this issue with various friends, and most of them have a “poop store.” And I have to wonder if everyone has a poop store. Discuss.