Behold! The Incredible…Destructo-Baby! (A.K.A, HULK SMASH!)

by statia on May 4, 2011

I would like to think (not that I’m thinking for you or anything (also, I already think too much, so perhaps, I shouldn’t be thinking at all)), that we all want to give our kids the world, not having them want for anything, yet, let them manage to grow up to not be snot nosed brats who feel entitled to everything.  Appreciation is not one of a child’s finer qualities, but even if they don’t appreciate it now, certainly, I’ll be grateful if they at least acknowledge their appreciation later.

But it doesn’t look like it, based on the fact that poor Woody was beheaded today… by my daughter.

Seriously, what the hell?  Everyone would probably assume it’s the boy child that wants to blow shit up, or rip the head off of some poor suspecting barbie doll, like Sid from Toy Story.

But no.  The Mini was never a destructive kid.  But he never outright destoryed toys, or ripped apart books.   LG?  She destroys everything.   And she does it all with a charmingly, coy, cute smile on her face.   Complete with dimple, and maybe a slight giggle, for effect.   Nothing is safe from her wrath.  And I’m at that point, now, where even though I make lists of stuff that I’d love them to have, (so I can play with it too, let’s be real here) I can’t even bring myself to buy anything, because I know that she’ll just rip it apart.

I need ideas for indestructible toys for her birthday.   Even though I know she’ll find a way to destroy it.


Wendy May 4, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Do they make Kongs for babies?

donna May 4, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Just get her a block of wood to gnaw on.

river May 4, 2011 at 11:51 pm

Cubes of steel in assorted sizes and colours. All of which must be too big to be swallowed of course.

Veronica May 5, 2011 at 1:07 am

Amy is the same.

Wooden blocks (although they make great missiles…) and fisher price plastic toys.

Betsy May 5, 2011 at 5:14 am

We’re going to with the Bilbio over here for the indestructible birthday present. My kid’s been ripping apart everything as well and has even CHEWED THE FRONT OFF his WOODEN truck.

Yeah. So I hear you.

Shelly May 5, 2011 at 6:51 am

Dog toys?

tricia May 5, 2011 at 3:00 pm


Gina May 5, 2011 at 4:00 pm

I am happy to see I am not the only one who thought of a kong. Cuz balls are also awesome, fun for the kid and the dog!

statia May 5, 2011 at 8:36 pm

I thought about getting her a Super Happy Fun Ball You don’t taunt Super Happy Fun Ball. So that would teach her ass!

Kathy May 6, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Good lord, keep her away from the giant bucket of jagged glass you have.

Her and Carter would get along famously. We call him Dr. Destructo.

Fawn May 6, 2011 at 7:28 pm

I have a Mr. Destructo here. My mom recently got him a new robot toy and left him to play with it while taking a call. When she got back the robot had no arms, legs or head. She said WHAT HAPPENED and he said very calmly “there was a war”
I have just learned not to buy him anything that costs more than 10 bucks unless it’s xmas or b-day. He has also learned that he won’t be getting any of those $20+ toys and he knows why.

Siera May 7, 2011 at 6:33 pm

I don’t know what to tell you. Aaron isn’t very destructive either unless he is taking out his anger on something. Are all kids on the spectrum not destructive? Or did we just get lucky with our boys?

Wombat Central May 11, 2011 at 8:34 am

We call my dog’s ball Happy Fun Ball, because it’s one of those super hard plastic ones you’d see lions playing with at the zoo. Maybe you could get her one of those. Just don’t let her kick it or she’ll break her toes. Also? Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Wombat Central May 11, 2011 at 8:35 am

Where’s the delete my comment button when you need it? I just reread your comment and hadn’t seen before that you also wrote “do not taunt” on yours. I’m going to go chew on Happy Fun Ball now.

Kate May 12, 2011 at 7:16 pm

The ants in my driveway also underestimated a little girl’s potential for violence. And look where that got them. (May they rest in peace.)

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