Heel, toddler.

by statia on April 26, 2011

I’m glad that there are so many people that are down with leashing their kids.   I mean, quite frankly, I think there’s nothing funnier than letting them run, only to be jerked back by the end of the tether.   And man, do they get PISSED.   I consider it payback for the big red irresistible button on my chest.    Little shits.

I’m kidding about that yanking them thing.  She totally refused to listen when she wanted to go left and we were going right.   But she’s a Taurus, so we just expect that from her.

But this leashing thing, reminds me of a story.

When my sister was about LG’s age, we were at a graduation party for one of my fake cousins.  You have them, don’t you?  Fake cousins?   It was one of the older of the five kids my godparents have, and my godfather is Italian, with tons of family, on top of all of their guppy club friends, and of course, the kid’s friends too.  So basically, there were like, 4.5 million people in my godparent’s tiny backyard.   Which is on the end of a canal.

Teenagers are going in and out of the yard, and up and down the dock, and it suddenly dawns on my parents (who were probably half lit at this point… it was the 80′s, that shit was acceptable then), that they have no idea where my sister is.   And in one short minute, they realized that she was missing.  Gone.   It all happened so fast.  All of a sudden, my parents, my godparents, and a handful of other people are walking through the neighborhood calling my sister’s name.   It probably seemed like an eternity to them.   In reality, it was probably 20 minutes.

I don’t know why they were all worried.  I mean, they had two other kids, and she was an accident.


Someone found her in the middle of an extremely busy, four lane road.   They put her in their car, driving around, because surely someone was looking for their kid.   It could have ended so badly.  I know they had visions of her falling in the canal, and other things.

A few weeks later, we were at my father’s company picnic.  My parents had harnessed her and tied her to a tree.  She was PISSED, and on top of that, she totally wound short leashed her own damn self, like a dog.   But you know what?  I would do the same thing.  There’s this whole movement of free range parents out there.  ”Let them go.”    But unless we’re in the house, letting them out of my site makes me physically ill.


Veronica April 27, 2011 at 3:15 am

I can let my kid go, provided that we are at home and the gate to the highway is closed. My fences are electrified, so they can’t escape far. Of course, I’ve been bitten by the fence and I’d prefer that it didn’t happen to the kids (again).

Tommie April 27, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Awesome sister story. And I’m totally on your parents’ side, I’d have tied her to the tree too.
We live in the country but on a state road, so the road is busy but the nearest neighbors are over a half a mile away. And STILL I won’t let my eight year old ride her bike alone in the driveway without having every door to the house open so she can run inside if a strange vehicle even slows down in front of our house. Paranoia? Is alive and well in Ohio. The four year old? doesn’t go out alone. Ever. And by alone, she doesn’t go out without an adult. The big sister doesn’t count.

Mina April 28, 2011 at 12:33 pm

My in laws are constantly telling me the story of how they tied my sister in law to a tree when she was younger so she wouldn’t go drown herself in the water.

I actually got lost at 4 in India (we were visiting) on the beach with THOUSANDS of people there. My parents underestimated the fascination that a little kid would have for a monkey. I remember wandering for a bit, seeing a scary looking dog and just waiting back at the monkey for my parents to find me. I look back at that event in horror now that I’m a parent myself.

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