When I was about seven or so, I was over at a neighbor’s house, for a party. The details are sketchy, but the portion of what sticks out in my mind, is the fact that one of the people at the party, who I wasn’t familiar with, had an RV (arrrrr veeeeeeeeeee, sorry, I can’t help myself). RV’s are cool to two groups of people, kids, and senior citizens. I’m pretty sure the people that owned it were retired.
I was so excited to take a look around at this marvelous house on wheels. The woman, let me in and I got to see all the cool things it would do. And at one point, she tried to shut the door on me, but even then, I was anxiety ridden, and I started to panic. So she opened the door, and off I went, flitting about, as 7 year-olds do. Now, I’m sure if this woman was at our neighbor’s party, she was a safe person, but in my 7 year-old mind, that woman had planned to kidnap me. I’m still convinced of it. My spidey sense was on high alert. Probably because that’s when you’re in the process of really learning about stranger danger, and nothing more.
Today, I was at a thrift store, in a bit of a seedy area. I had some clothes to drop off, and I’m also looking for a cabinet that I can put in my family room for DVD’s. Something I can cute up, HGTV style. I had LG with me, and I saw a guy looking at me funny. I wasn’t really threatened, but since I couldn’t find what I was looking for, and I have an energetic toddler who feels the need to not listen, I figured it wasn’t the best time to browse.
We were all buckled in and I was about to back out, when I looked next to me and saw an old lady standing right next to my car. I opened the window a tiny crack (thanks, Dateline) where she proceeded to ask me if she could pay me cab fare to take her somewhere. I told her no, and that I had no room, and she dejectedly walked back to the store.
She was in her 80′s easily, and unassuming, but I wanted to say, “Lady, are you fucking insane? Does the light on my roof say on duty?” And immediately, my mind flooded back to the guy who looked like he was in a gang, giving me the eye, and I was totally onto the whole innocent old lady, can you give me a ride lure. I know she was totally planning on taking me to some location where we would have been abducted. What the hell is it with old ladies and abductions?
It totally happens. At least in my mind. Next time, I’m bringing a taser, and that bitch is going down.