Fighting the good fight.

by statia on February 27, 2011

Before the Mini was born, we bought a hoity “luxury” SUV, which I apparently named Vulva (Volvo xc90), because I am if nothing, either hilarious, or just trying too hard to be stupid.  You can all agree with me, that I am in fact, the latter.

Go on. I’ll wait.

We still have the car.  And it’s still in pretty good shape, for going on almost 6 years, which is the longest I’ve ever had a car, and because I like my cars of the luxury-ish variety, is the exact reason why we’ve kept it.  Because for one, I am not about to spend a metric assload of money on a car that will have juice spilled in the cracks, crackers ground up in the carpet, and several brands of sneaker tread lining the back of the front seats.   This is also why I think that cloth seats in a car, are a particularly bad idea.

We toyed with getting another SUV a few years ago, but decided against it, because I love my car so much, that I knew I’d just turn around and buy the exact same car.

The hubs has an Audi All Road, which is a great car, but, being German and an Audi, every single replacement part, costs approximately as much as my house (I feel as if I like gross exaggerations, here, is anyone else getting that?  Personal epiphany) and he refuses to take it into the dealer, because on top of the cost of whatever part needs to be replaced, it costs… wait for it… my entire retirement funds worth of labor.   Which means that at times, that car has sat out in the driveway, redneck style, for upwards of a month, so that he could work on it, when the time presented itself.   That time, with an infant, and a toddler, and a crazy wife, who never let him leave the house, because if she was stuck in the house, with the kids, for fifteen more minutes, so help her god.

What I’m getting at here, is that while it’s a fine car, it’s just incredibly expensive to maintain, and we’d like to ditch it.  We don’t NEED a new car, we just figure, let’s dump it, before it starts to get too old and cause more co-payments in couples therapy.

The mile long list of things that I need in my car, is insane.  Because when it comes to new things, I am very picky.  Case in point, my laundry list of things I need for a simple stroller.  A few things that are a must is:

  • Leather seats
  • Heated seats – I mean, come on.  Winter, people. You expect me to live like a savage?
  • Dual climate control – You might not think this is a necessity, but my Nordic husband likes to crank the a/c in the middle of winter. This is not acceptable.
  • Second row captains chairs.
  • Third row, which is why we need the captains chairs.  Because , bench second row + two car seats = a completely useless third row.
  • Bluetooth/ USB/Auxiliary - which is pretty much standard on all cars nowadays, but back in ancient times (2005) when we bought our car, that was all high tech hullabaloo.

Ok, the rest probably isn’t totally necessary, I probably just want it, because my shiny always comes in the form of technology.

And you see, there’s this one necessity listed in here, captain’s chairs,  and you see what I’m essentially describing here, right?

A minivan

And we’re not minivan people.  We’d no sooner die than purchase one.  Yes, I know, they’re easy and convenient, and they have the most awesome features.  Every single person has been so gung ho about their minivan and have tried to get us to drink the kool-aid.  And you know, it started to make sense.  And the next thing I know, I’m thinking, you know, maybe this whole minivan thing isn’t such a bad idea.  And it’s just a car, and I need to get over myself.   But I could never really get past the hyperventilation and the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, and the sweats.   So I decided to just bite the bullet and test drive one.

People, I test drove A minivan.  And you see where this is going right?

Well, you’re fucking wrong, because fuck that shit.  I HATED it.   We’re getting the highlander.


divrchk February 27, 2011 at 9:32 pm

I love this post b/c I’m at the same point as you. Except that I haven’t test driven a mini-van yet to decide that my gut is right – I’m going to hate it. I can’t wait to see what I end up with when I do decide to bite the bullet on a new car…

Erin February 27, 2011 at 9:35 pm

I don’t think I could drive such a big car permanently but we rented a big ass GMC Acadia the whole time we were in Seattle and it had the 2nd row captain’s chairs and the 3rd row bench. It was NICE! Admittedly non-luxury but it also came with satellite radio. I fell in love with it!

Shelly February 27, 2011 at 9:48 pm

One more reason why I love you.

We have the Highlander with all the features you describe. Love it, though I’d rather have the Sequoia but that’s mostly b/c of our huge dogs.

Minivans are evil. Why did you hate it?

Stephanie February 27, 2011 at 10:06 pm

You are NOT minivan material. No self-respecting Jamiol should be. If you love your Highlander half as much as I love my RAV4 you’ll do just fine!

jesser February 27, 2011 at 10:23 pm

I have the Highlander. I LOVE the Highlander. You will not be sorry. Thing ROCKS … I love love driving it. My mom suggested a minivan when we bought my car 2 yrs ago and I broke out in hives.

Word of advice though … OEM tires do not last long and make sure you get them replaced a month before really needing them because 19″ wheels take a while to find. I was slipping all over the streets of Denver for 2 wks until I could get mine replaced.

Shanna February 27, 2011 at 11:25 pm

I love you so much.

Lisa February 28, 2011 at 7:13 am

That’s how I felt about a station wagon. And when we lived in CO and needed something to be able to haul stuff out to our house that was 20 minutes from, well, anything, I got a pickup truck.

statia February 28, 2011 at 8:02 am

I’m so glad that so many of you are anti-minivan. I was beginning to think that the world around me was becoming minivan zombies and they were going to eat my braaaaaaaaaaaaains.

Erin, I was looking at the Acadia too, because I heard about the third row bench. It’s got all of the features I’d want/need, but the look of the car, it wasn’t my favorite. I mean, the Highlander is no Volvo, but it was really nice, and I know I will like it just as much as my xc90.

Shelly, the minivan was just…ugh. I HATED the way it handled. It just didn’t feel right. Like I was sitting on a bar stool with a steering wheel (and if I’m sitting on a bar stool, I should be drinking, not driving). I’ve been driving SUV’s for 12 years, so to me, anything else is just weird.

Jess, thanks for the heads up. I really liked it when I drove it. So quiet and smooth!

buzz February 28, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Dude. You crack my shit, totally, up.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: