The other day, I was sitting in the waiting room, while the Mini was in OT (I love that we’ve reached that stage, now, where he goes in, and I get a whole hour to myself to read). The building is a small medical office, and the waiting room is shared with the lab, so there’s often people in there, waiting to have blood drawn. A couple came in together and sat down. It was obvious (to me), why they were there. They had just come from the OB office across the hall.
They were there for their routine pregnancy blood-work. Her conversation with her husband, of things like, the hospital affiliation, and that this was the same OB her friend used, just solidified my hypothesis. She looked all glowy and happy. She had that underlying giddiness about her.
And I remember those days. Those early days, when I was newly pregnant. And I wish I could bottle up that excitement and save it forever. Even though, my pregnancies were filled with extreme trepidation and worry, there was the newfound hope. A new road. One that I had never been down before. I was kind of jealous of them. Because there would never be that feeling again. That feeling is now stored in my distant memory. Hopefully a memory that won’t fade as much with time. A memory that is now shelved next to new memories and feelings.
Along with my jealousy, was this feeling of smugness. I felt like an asshole, but it was funny to watch, and think to myself “yeah, I was where you were, and you have no idea what you’re in for.” As the Mini almost ran into her, as he wasn’t looking where he was going. I told him to please watch where he was going. In her honeymoon state, she didn’t mind at all. And I find the amount of patience you have for kids, when you’re newly pregnant, kind of adorable. Because if someone else’s kid runs into me now, I want to punt them into next week. Watch where you’re going, you little brat! Like I don’t get enough of that at home?
I won’t be that asshole, though. I’ll smile and say, “congratulations, it’s hard work, but it’s worth it.” And then I’ll go home and wipe up piss off of my floor, after hearing the Mini scream “MOM, I PEED ALL OVER MYSELF AND I GOT IT ON THE FLOOR.”
I’d like to see her, have that glowy happy air about her as she’s mopping up piss off the bathroom floor. Again.