Design flaw.

by statia on October 26, 2010

About a year ago, they opened up a much anticipated grocery store in our area.  Wegmans.  They had them near my parents house, so I was familiar with the chain, though, those of you that live in Upstate New York, are already familiar.  This was no ordinary Wegmans, no, there was rumor of a BAR inside the grocery store, AND they were going to sell beer.  In six packs!  IN the grocery store.  My fellow Pennsylvanians will understand how big of a deal this is.  Buying alcohol in a grocery store is still a novelty.  Even though I was born in New York (I was too young to buy alcohol while living there, but I remember going with, uh, appropriate aged friends through the Dairy Barn for beer.  Yes, that’s it), and lived in California, where you can practically buy Moonshine in your local Safeway.   In Pennsylvania, it used to be, that you had to buy beer by the case, and their lovely liquor laws still mandate that you buy liquor at a “state store.”  Thankfully, they’ve come far in recent years, allowing you to buy liquor and beer on Sundays.  I would never survive in the bible belt.

Anyway,  getting to the point.  They have these new 2-tiered carts.  One that you see frequently nowadays, little short carts, perfect for your smaller loads, and these new carts that I haven’t seen in many places.  These new carts, had to have been designed by a man.  I blame all bad design flaws on men.  This is how I cope.  This one was clearly designed by a man with no children, or someone whose children have long since grown up.  Or perhaps the person was just smoking crack that day:

Ever since we’ve started to shop here, shopping has become a pain in the ass.  First off, I’m limited in storage space, because the easy reach toddler basket has to remain empty or else I’ll spend my entire trip picking groceries off the floor.  Putting the two of them next to each other is fine for about five minutes and then the punching and hair pulling begins.  Next comes the screaming.  By the end of the trip, all of my groceries are falling out of the handy lower basket, and it’s piled so high, that I want to apologize for all of the people who are in physical therapy, because I can’t see where the fucking cart ends.

Except for the guy that designed these stupid asshole carts.  In which case, I want to repeatedly ram you in the knees, while my children chuck the easy to reach groceries at you.


Wombat Central October 26, 2010 at 2:33 pm

That’s a fancy pants Wegman’s–they only have those ridicu-carts at our upscale locations. I agree. It’s a messed up design. But Wegmans? Full of the win. :)

Heather October 26, 2010 at 5:08 pm

Those are the only carts to choose from?!?! That’s f-ing insane. At the one by my mom’s they have 3 kinds including those to choose from. Fill out a comment card, you might just be the final “GET SOME REAL CARTS” comment that will make it happen.

Siera October 26, 2010 at 9:54 pm

Our new Wal-Mart Super center is so swanky that they have shopping cart escalators. Yes, you read right. But to make the carts compatible with the escalators they’ve left out the under carriage. Now I have no where to put my heavy crap like kitty litter or case of bottled water. I’d rather have space to put my heavy crap instead of having to get it into friggin cart than have an escalator for my shopping cart.

statia October 26, 2010 at 10:10 pm

The design just leaves me flummoxed.

@Heather: They do have other carts, but they’re all stupid. One is the common one you see, the smaller two-tier. This is great for when I go to the grocery store alone, which is NEVER. Then there’s the one that has the car in front. Point the first: if I thought the regular cart was hard to steer, the “car cart” is fucking impossible. Point the second: while it has a regular basket, I have two small kids that will love each other all day long, until they’re in any sort of store, especially one that requires a cart. Mini wants to walk, LG does too, but she’s 18 months. Then they gang up on me. One stands in the seat, or tries, and the other runs off. It’s such an awesome game.

Big Daddy October 27, 2010 at 9:04 am

I am a man. My kids haven’t been inside a shopping cart in years. And I totally agree with you. These carts are ridiculous. Please don’t ram my knees or have your kids thropw groceries at me.

Heather October 27, 2010 at 11:09 am

Statia- those car carts are a total P.I.T.A. my only saving grace for those is my 18mth old is ok with being buckled in and my 3.5 year old has the fear of being run over she gets out (seriously, I told her she would get run over by another cart if she got out). So I’m hip to using those if we go to the “over priced” grocery store. Otherwise 18mth old is in the front of the cart and 3.5 year old is steppin’ it in the cheap-o grocery store.
Oh, and I deal with baby smackdown all. the. freaking. time. Apparently 3.5 year old feels that hugging until little sis is falling over is the only way to hug.

Katie October 27, 2010 at 11:39 am

That is the most fucked up cart, I’ve ever seen. I think I’d stop going to that store.

statia October 27, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Heather, I would TOTALLY let my son walk around if he wasn’t so THREE AND A HALF, and averse to you know, listening. That word just isn’t in their vocabulary. My choices are limited. Grocery shopping is usually either a dual parent trip, or done at a time when I only have one kid with me. Rarely is it done alone.

Kathy October 27, 2010 at 12:51 pm

You know what would make them better? Wobbly wheels, broken seat belts and a squeak sound that’s reminiscent of a duck getting stepped on repeatedly. You have those features to look forward to….

Shannon October 27, 2010 at 2:49 pm

Trolley people in general need a smacking. Our local shop for so long had only ONE trolley that took two children next to each other. I’d race to it and almost never get it – I remember once when the twins were tiny I broke down and asked the woman (who took it basically from under my nose) if please could my twins and I use the twin trolley. She settled her one child in the trolley and coolly told me she needed a place to put her handbag. I could have killed her.

Trolley people, man. Total business opportunity.

Tommie October 27, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Grocery carts are the bain of most mothers’ existence. There is never a decent compromise. I detest the car carts! They should be freaking outlawed.

Heather, my SEVEN year old still hugs her physically weak four year old sister until they both fall down. I am constantly yelling, “Squeeze and release! Squeeze and release!” Who knew kids needed lessons in hugging?

statia October 27, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Did you cheerfully tell her that you’re sorry that the sperm that created her, didn’t dribble down her father’s leg?

Shannon October 28, 2010 at 3:06 pm

See, now, that would’ve been wise. Funny. Seizing the moment. Instead I gaped like a goldfish and then thought of a comeback (ha!) in the middle of the night.

Dammit, Statia, when are you going to start recording that “smart aleck” tape for such moments and release it to the public? Geez. Your people need you.

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