BFF: You’re freaking addicted to pills.
It’s a running joke in our house that the girls in my family love their pills. This is true. When my sister, cousin and I get together, we dump them out on the ottoman like a post Halloween adventure. Comparing our loot. Trading. I’m a little proud that I know my classes of drugs. I got a text message, asking for a trade. An oxy for a percocet. “Well, is it oxycodone, or oxycontin? Because oxycodone IS percocet.”
But when my friend told me this, I was a bit taken aback. Because to a certain extent, that’s true. But I felt compelled to correct her. “No, I’m addicted to wanting to sleep.”
I’ve never in my life been a good sleeper. I guess this is just how I’m wired. I get tired, like everyone else. I AM tired, just like every other mother in the entire solar system (what is it with my space references, lately? I hate space), but unfortunately, I am an insomniac. A cranky insomniac that can’t take at face value, that I could probably stay up the entire night, exhausted, but unable to fall asleep. I don’t, though. I find a pill, whatever works, and hope to drift off without much fuss, so that I’m able to function. I don’t really care what gets the job done, as long as it works. There’s nothing I find more frustrating, than laying in bed, with my mind running, unable to settle myself down. It’s a vicious cycle.
Now, if the Meester is going out of town, and I have to play single parent, I man up, and deal with the fatigue. It isn’t pretty, I lose my patience more often, but I hang in there, knowing that on the back end, I’ll get to catch up on my sleep. And I don’t sit around all day, in some drug filled haze, because I have to tend to small kids who like to throw things at my head. You need to be quick on your reflexes, because matchbox cars hurt, yo.
One would argue that an addiction is something that affects your entire family and becomes a problem in your life.
compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful.
I guess, technically, I am addicted to pills.