I’m convinced he’s trying to make me crazy. Or kill me. Possibly both.

by statia on June 4, 2010

There’s more marital strife going on around these parts.  And I fear it’s a competition to see who is going to end up dead first.

I’m sure you’re curious what this spat is about.

It’s about the freshness of our snacks.   Maybe you think this is silly, but there is nothing funny or silly about chewy popcorn or stale potato chips.

You see, we have a metric shit ton of chip clips and rubber bands (I inherited the rubber bands from my grandma, I kid you not).   There is no reason why we should have half assed, crumpled up , or half open bags of chips.  But I think the Meester totally does it now, just to grate on my nerves.  He’s good at stuff like that.  Because I went into the pantry the other day, and I found this:


I mean, come on!  Really?    I’m the laughing stock of my friends.  They don’t want to come over anymore, because all of my snacks are stale.  I know that’s his ulterior motive, him being a people hater and all, but I am fighting dirty.  I’m investing in tupperware.


Jillian June 4, 2010 at 10:32 pm

My husband tucks our toddler’s shirt in, dork style, to every pair of pants. Even pajamas. Because it makes my eyes bug out.

Merrin June 5, 2010 at 12:39 am

OK. I can’t NOT comment on this. Kevin makes me use a straw to suck the excess air out of said chip bags/ziplocs/cookie packages because that’s what his grandmother does. I now have a dedicated “JoJo” (his grandma’s name) straw to insure the integrity of corn chips everywhere. Before the JoJo straw I was perfectly content with a chip clip. Not anymore. Now I’m compelled to suck the air out of EVERYTHING.

Kevin Donahue June 5, 2010 at 5:34 am

Tuck, tuck, fold… air is our enemy. http://bit.ly/bdNHgV

statia June 5, 2010 at 8:27 am

Haha. Oh.my.GOD.

Also? I have a WALLET!

Yo-yo Mama June 5, 2010 at 9:31 am

The only crime I see here is the Newman Os. The. Hell???

If they are anything like Oreos, then they are only good when they’ve been exposed to air for 24 hours.

Also? I thought the dog biscuits said “Goodnites” and I was wondering why the fuck you were storing cookies with pull-ups.

Doug June 5, 2010 at 9:33 pm

“If they are anything like Oreos, then they are only good when they’ve been exposed to air for 24 hours.”

Thank you. Someone around here actually gets it.

statia June 6, 2010 at 8:14 am

See what you’ve done Yo-yo???? Are you happy now? To quote him: “What? There’s a clip on it.”

Stacia June 5, 2010 at 6:19 pm

My husband has the failure-to-clip gene, too. But we don’t have the same taste in snacks, luckily, so all his stuff gets stale. And mine stays tightly clipped and deliciously fresh. =>

Veronica June 5, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Hahahahaaaa. Ahem. Cough.

That’s something my partner would do.

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