I know, I know. There are rules now about blogging over the weekends, because apparently people never read blogs on weekends and therefore, you will probably not get many comments, because people have lives. Which, really? Come on. I think that’s just crap. I mean, I read blogs on weekends.
But you know what? DAMN THE MAN! I was never a conformist. I am a rebel. And I’m going to blog, dammit.
Anyway. Remember how I was talking about potty training the Mini and how I scared I was to even entertain the idea? I was more into the whole boot camp thing, but given his personality, there had to be “a plan.” A friend of mine tipped me off to this whole Three Day Potty Training method and thought, “eh what the hell?” I mean, what have I got to lose, besides three days of my life?
I read the book, did the research, listened to ridicule over the whole thing and decided that this would be the weekend.
The “method” requires that you be joined to your child at the hip for the entire three days, reminding them repeatedly to let you know when they have to go to the bathroom (making them think they’re in control). Do you know how hard this is when you have an extremely independent child? He is all sorts of annoyed and confused, because “god damn woman, just leave me alone to play with my cars, GOD!” I picked a good weekend for it. It’s extremely shitty out, we had no plans, and currently, everyone is as about as well as we’ve all been in a month. Also? daylight savings, which means we lose an hour this weekend, and boy, if there were ever a weekend to have one less hour, this would be it.
So this morning, we got him out of bed, bid goodbye to the diapers, and made him put on underwear, and proceeded to follow him around like a lost puppy dog, consistently, but lovingly reminding him to tell us when he has to go potty. To the point where I never want to hear the phrase again, because the thought of hearing it, makes me want to blow my brains out.
This method also requires you to go completely cold turkey, which means, no diapers or pull ups for night time, either. The Mini generally wakes up dry, if we go and get him right away, but to circumvent any accidents, I decided to put all three sets of sheets on his bed, with a layer of wee wee pads in between each set. That way, if there is an accident in the middle of the night, I can just rip a set off and be good to go. Having to purchase wee wee pads for my kid makes me wonder if I’m training a child, or a cocker spaniel.
Being that it’s the first day, of course there were accidents. But there weren’t as many as I thought there would be, and there was ONE time, where he actually ran to me and let me know that he had to go. He had gone a little in his underwear, but he let me know, which is a HUGE HUGE milestone. And we made a giant deal about it, and let him pick out a prize and he was very proud, and all that jazz. Of course, he peed in his underwear later on in the evening, but I’ll take any forward movement (HA!) I can get.
The baby is less than impressed with this whole potty training nonsense, as it takes away all the attention from her. She’s been up in everyone’s grill, and you can practically hear her saying “LOOK AT ME, REMEMBER? Watch how I make this super cute expression, so that you can laugh at it. Hey wait! Where are you going?”
This has been the longest Saturday of my life, and I so earned that beer that I chugged through a funnel.