My sister is home from Japan while her husband is off sleeping in some Korean ditch. I don’t know if these are different from American ditches or Japanese ditches, but that’s what he’s doing, and given that she doesn’t have her license and can’t read Japanese, and also doesn’t really know her way around yet, she decided that it’d be more of a pleasant situation if she came home for a few weeks.
Somehow, I suckered her into helping me organize some things and she also did my laundry. Man, I will tell you, if there’s a good reason to have kids, that’s it. Your family comes over and does your mounds and mounds of laundry, and they act like they actually enjoy doing it. I’m not entirely sure if I have to pay this forward if my kids have kids someday. It’s going to be hard for me to fake enjoy doing laundry.
Sister: Are these…granny panties?
Me: *rips them out of her hand* YES, they’re granny panties, do you want to make something of it? I wear them to bed, because I like full ass coverage and they’re super comfortable.
Sister: Oh man, is this what married life does to you?
Me: Yes, you might as well stock up on hanes briefs now, and get the big ones, because you want those bitches to be roomy, just like the way the landlady in Kingpin wore them.
Sister: Sounds hot.
Me: I only wear them to bed. I can’t wear anything but a thong with jeans (like I have to defend myself. sports announcer voice: she fumbles and OH SHE RECOVERS! That was a nice save). I can’t have that much fabric making my ass look bigger than it already is, but at night? I want underwear that I can tuck under my boobs.
Sister: I think I just vomited in my mouth a little at that visual.