Under things, tumbling

by statia on March 17, 2010

My sister is home from Japan while her husband is off sleeping in some Korean ditch.  I don’t know if these are different from American ditches or Japanese ditches, but that’s what he’s doing, and given that she doesn’t have her license and can’t read Japanese, and also doesn’t really know her way around yet, she decided that it’d be more of a pleasant situation if she came home for a few weeks.

Somehow, I suckered her into helping me organize some things and she also did my laundry.  Man, I will tell you, if there’s a good reason to have kids, that’s it.  Your family comes over and does your mounds and mounds of laundry, and they act like they actually enjoy doing it.  I’m not entirely sure if I have to pay this forward if my kids have kids someday.  It’s going to be hard for me to fake enjoy doing laundry.

Sister: Are these…granny panties?

Me: *rips them out of her hand*  YES, they’re granny panties, do you want to make something of it?   I wear them to bed, because I like full ass coverage and they’re super comfortable.

Sister: Oh man, is this what married life does to you?

Me: Yes, you might as well stock up on hanes briefs now, and get the big ones, because you want those bitches to be roomy, just like the way the landlady in Kingpin wore them.

Sister: Sounds hot.

Me: I only wear them to bed.  I can’t wear anything but a thong with jeans (like I have to defend myself.  sports announcer voice: she fumbles and OH SHE RECOVERS! That was a nice save).  I can’t have that much fabric making my ass look bigger than it already is, but at night?  I want underwear that I can tuck under my boobs.

Sister: I think I just vomited in my mouth a little at that visual.


Shelly March 17, 2010 at 9:36 am

Motherhood is SO sexy.

Kath March 17, 2010 at 11:22 am

Oh, dear Statia, thanks for that. You’re my kind of woman! And congratulations on losing that weight, by the way (*more* room in those panties! Wey-hey!)

And above all, of course, Happy Belated Birthday to the Mini! (I did three posts at once. Can you tell?)

Amy March 17, 2010 at 1:40 pm

Really??? I, too, wear a thong during the day, but at night – that area need to be completely unencumbered. I can’t imagine granny panties!

Old School/New School Mom March 17, 2010 at 3:54 pm

I love this! Hey, listen, I wear granny panties all the time. They really are the most comfortable things in the universe!

Veronica March 17, 2010 at 6:39 pm

Parenthood is awesome.

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