On Friday, my wee little bundle of joy, the first, turned three years old. I’ll spare the oh my god how did this happen comments, because truthfully, I DON’T KNOW. The last few years are a haze of that new baby smell, toddler funk and the word NO!
The last three years were also filled with so many ups and downs, that my life feels like it resembles that comment from the grandmother in Parenthood:
“I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn’t like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.”
Life with kids is a roller coaster, there’s no other way to explain it. Life with the Mini is like going on the loop-de-loop. He’s such a smart little boy, and that’s what kills me. He’s no longer a toddler, but a little boy. A…preschooler. He is so smart. Bragging aside. He is an enigma. Throughout his short life, I’ve always been mystified as to what he’s thinking. He’s a hard read. His inability to communicate properly makes things not only interesting, but consistently frustrating. He wants so badly to communicate properly, but he’s just a little behind in processing. He’s not delayed, he’s just… different. There’s nothing wrong with that, it just means that it’s going to be a little longer before he figures out his place in this world.
Aside of his language differences, he’s such a great kid. Sure he has tantrums of epic proportions, like a three year old, but he’s so loving and giving. He loves hugs, and loves to socialize with his friends (within the limits of his abilities). He is every bit his father, and yet, a lot of me, too.
I would be lying if I said that I never felt sorry for myself over the fact that it’s hard to communicate with him. I realize it could be so much worse. But, I wouldn’t want it any other way. He is so challenging, but he was worth every single ounce of heartache we went through, and if I could go back in time, I would do it all over again, and take him just as he is.