I have issues with my toothbrushes. Well, I suppose it could be said that I have issues with many things, or just issues. But toothbrushes are my current beef right now. For years, I found one toothbrush that I loved, it was the Mentadent toothbrush. Then one day, I couldn’t find it anymore. Probably not really even thinking to look online. I found another toothbrush that I loved and stuck with it, until I could no longer find that one, because gone are the days of just your basic rectangular boxy toothbrush. Now it cleans hard to reach areas, vibrates, pulsates, spins, and comes with a tongue cleaner, all in one. All I want is a fucking toothbrush that I’m comfortable with. I found yet another one that I’ve been using, now for the better part of maybe two or three years, and of course, I head over to Target and they stopped carrying it. I looked in every drugstore, online, and nothing. So I relented and bought a few toothbrushes to try out:
“This one is too hard!” Seriously. I saw stars right before I passed out from the pain of my gums being ripped off.
“This one is too soft.” Ok. I like a firm(er) toothbrush (nothing like the “gum rapist” thank you). Is it me, or are firm toothbrushes harder to find? Have they been banned by 3 out of 5 dentists? I really would like my toothbrush to not need Cialis, thanks.
And then there’s this. Why the hell are we putting rubbery bits in toothbrushes? This is just so wrong on so many levels. I can’t even get past the idea of having squeaky rubbery parts in my mouth. It gives me the heebs.
This one is juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust right. On a whim, looking for floss in my local wholesale warehouse, I found the motherload! My old toothbrush. It was like winning the toothbrush lottery.
Cleans and whitens. Available in four attractive colors. I now have enough toothbrushes to last me for two years. The end.
I just wasted 10 minutes of your life that you will never get back by subjecting you to my toothbrush woes.