While I’m currently laid up in bed with this horrible UTI (yes, it IS that bad, I’m peeing fucking knives, people, and it hurts to walk and DON’T JUDGE ME), waiting for my doctor to finally call in this stupid perscription already so that I can get on with my life, I’ve temporarily abandoned my search for dining room furniture, and moved onto more dangerous things. Ebay.
I was talking to my sister about how much of a whore Rainbow Brite had become, since she probably doesn’t have Target in Japan (which leaves me to wonder what sort of fucking third world country she’s living in. One where you buy lobsters and ties out of vending machines, that’s where). She told me that she still had her Rainbow Brite doll in the basement at our parents house and I was welcome to it for LG, if I wanted it. I said to her, “is a frog’s ass water tight?” And she said, “um, I guess? I’ve never had the desire to check.”
I had to make good on forgetting my mother’s birthday anyway, so while I was up there redeeming myself as the most favorite daughter ever, I went down into my parents basement, leaving my last will and testament, in case I got sucked up by the garbage or Tony Little’s crappy infomercial home gym system™ I managed to make it out of there alive, with a slightly dirty, but in very good useable condition old school Rainbow Brite doll. Score: 1 for Mama, who gets to maintain her daughter’s innocence just a little longer.
When we were going through infertile hell, I had a dream about twins and buying twin Cabbage Patch dolls. I took it as a sign, and feverishly searched Ebay for the Cabbage Patch’s I saw in my dreams. Both identical, save for one having blue eyes, and one having brown eyes. I won the auction for the one with brown eyes, and then when IVF didn’t work, I stored the box in the back of the closet. And then we had a boy, and I tried to resell it on Ebay, where it went unsold. I figured that maybe my dream was just that. A dream. And now I have a brown haired, brown eyed little girl. Dreams really do come true.
On top of finding my little basement treasures, I have this insane need to relive my whimsical 80′s childhood through my daughter. She probably has no desire for this and won’t care one iota. But it’s a compulsion with me. I want her to have all of the retro toys that I had growing up. I was ambitious enough to start my collection pre-kids, maybe putting my cart before the horse, though, I prefer the term optimist, here. My mother found bins of all of our really awesome kitchen stuff, which the Mini has happily been enjoying for the last year and a half. I have a few vintage Strawberry Shortcake friends, and some stuff left over from my childhood, but sadly, most of it succumbed to living for years, in a damp basement.
So tell me, what were some of your favorite 80′s toys? I need to get my LG’s collection rolling.