I was talking to my best girl, Shannon, the other day. She had sent LG some footie pants, because the girl can’t keep a pair of socks on. And our house is one of two temperatures: Fucking stifling, or Antarctica. Being that it’s winter, it’s currently Antarctica weather in my house, and unless I want to pay a thousand dollars a month to heat this completely energy efficient bullshit excuse for a house (hint: I do not, $500 is bad enough), I keep the thermostat set to a respectable 70 degrees. And that’s up two degrees from last year. Hence the reason for the footie pants.
We somehow got on the subject of midget (excuse me, little people) porn (as you do). Honestly, I think she’s into some sort of weird fetish, but you know, I don’t judge. And then she started going off about Cabbage Patch porn? And that’s when I started to back away slowly, because oh my god, what the hell sort of people am I associating with? I mean, you think you KNOW someone.
Anyway, midget porn, we’ve decided is one of those things that, sure, you might not go actively searching for (unless of course, you are Shannon, and then you not only go looking for midget porn, but midgets with Cabbage patch kids), but if you happen to come across it in your internet searches, you can’t really help but cock your head to the side like a spaniel and just sort of watch with both looks of horror and fascination.
I mean, really, don’t you agree?