The family that blogs together?

by statia on December 22, 2009

Every now and then, I’ll watch an episode over at Momversation.  If you haven’t seen the site, it’s a pretty cool concept, a group of bloggers vlogging together on a certain chosen topic.   I’ve always wanted to vlog, but I think I sound like an asshole in person and the video would be filled with lots of uhs, and ums and it’s one of the reasons I could never be a weather girl.

Anyway, one of the recent topics was introducing the “Grandmoms of Momversation”.   That is, the mothers of the bloggers.   And I wondered.  How many bloggers out there, give their url to their family?   Surely, if you’re a “popular” widely read blogger, chances are, your parents may end up stumbling across your blog, so I guess it’s just easier to tell them about it.  I’m pretty sure my mother knows on some level that I blog, but truthfully, she isn’t all that interested in reading it, or maybe she respects my privacy, but moreover, she is so technologically impaired, that she probably wouldn’t be able to find it if she wanted to.   And she knows her limitations.  She knows I laugh at her limitations.

My experience with family having my url has never lead to anything good, and I don’t talk shit about my family, but believe me when I tell you, some of the things I have written have been misconstrued, and I’m sure that the things I write are probably STILL misconstrued.   I’ve gotten over it.   For the most part, I am the same person online that I am in person.  Save for the fact that there are certain aspects of my life that remain private out of respect for my family.

So I want to know, all three readers.  Do you blog in secret, or do you blog knowing that your entire audience includes family members?

{ 24 comments }

Hannah December 22, 2009 at 9:10 am

Complete and utter secret, except for two friends. My blog got found at one point and caused some trouble – after that, it got buried very deeply. I do wonder why we feel the need to write online, though.

Deb December 22, 2009 at 9:23 am

My family all knows since part of the reason for blogging (for me) is keeping them updated on my life without needing to call… but my parents aren’t advanced enough to check it regularly themselves so they find out what is up through my sisters… so the little game of telephone often gets screwed up and I regularly get calls where my mom questions something I tweeted. But my husband thinks it is a fun game to try to tweet something cryptic that will get me a phone call…

jesser December 22, 2009 at 9:27 am

People know … that was the reason in the first place, actually, when we lived away from all the family. Now the out of towners keep up with the kids there and they love it. Co-workers (remember I work with my mom?) read it too. I have to be a lot more fucking sunny blogwise than I might otherwise be, not that I’m a rain cloud in person, just more edgy/opinionated. I sometimes wish I could be a bit more tell-all (my crazy ass mother in law, having my IUD inserted – OW!, annoying things my husband does, etc., etc.), but I generally just vent to my girlfriends and my mom and sis and I am good to go. ;)

amishpromqueen December 22, 2009 at 9:40 am

I would never, ever, EVAH let me family know my URL (even though I don’t write there these days.) I see the freedom isnwriting what you want regardless of who reads it. However, I’m pretty sure my family would translate everything through an “its all about them” filter, and I’d be spending all my time doing damage control. Not worth it.

Solonor December 22, 2009 at 9:48 am

They know. They don’t care. It’s best that way.

Shanna December 22, 2009 at 10:00 am

Out there with name and picture. Definitely inhibits what I write, but that may be a good thing. I figure that if you put enough details on your blog, even if you disguise them a bit, a person who knows you will eventually figure out it’s you anyway.

Mamma Pants December 22, 2009 at 11:32 am

I’m the MOB (Mom Of a Blogger) and the Blogger and I talked about my reading her blog when I first found it. I told her I would never give her any crap about what she wrote (and I don’t think I’ve ever even been tempted to) and I think we’re okay with that. Since my vocabulary includes many of her favorite words (where do you think she learned them?!) I’m never shocked. And besides, I don’t think I’m that special so I don’t really care what she says about her family in her blog (which is rare anyway).

Ms. Pants December 22, 2009 at 2:44 pm

Yeah, rare because HELLO–YOU HAVE THE URL!! You think I’ma talk about you now?! No way, lady!

(And you have brought it up–remember telling me not to lose my job cos I was crying and me telling you to shut up? Hahahaha!)

So okay, Statia, there you go. My mom has my url. She also uses an extra M in her name–it’s 3 points in scrabble. I understand. I didn’t give it to her–I think she found it via a Shannon link. But she was honest when I asked her if she read and she said she wouldn’t read if it bugged me. (Which I took to mean: I will tell you that I won’t read it and then try like hell to remember never to mention anything written there that you haven’t told me about so please be okay with it because that’s a lot of brain power that I could use on other things like buying fabric for my 88924745th quilt of the month.)

But I put it on the internet. If I didn’t want her (or other people) reading it, I’d go passworded. Look at me! I’m growing up and taking responsibility and shit!!!

Now where’s my goddamn bailout?!

statia December 22, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Which, I thought about passwording at one time, and I wondered what the hell the point is? So only you and a select few can read it? I don’t know. I have to censor myself out of respect for the Meester and the kids, but, I still have shit to say to a public forum, or you know, I just like to hear myself talk.

DOUBLE WORD SCORE!!!

PaintingChef December 22, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Um… my sister knows about it and my parents do not. It’s not that I have hidden it from them, I just never told them about it. I don’t think they would necessarily be shocked or anything. Mostly I think they just wouldn’t Get It. I think if they were to stumble across it on their own, I’d probably be surprised but not embarrassed. It would probably be a Big Deal for a minute but that would pass. When I first started I was PETRIFIED of my mother finding it until I started thinking about how maybe it wouldn’t be so bad… it was such a true representation of who I am. Maybe it would almost be a GOOD thing? I don’t know. They don’t read it right now.

Siera December 22, 2009 at 12:59 pm

My blog is confidential. No family matters or even friends save maybe one no my URL. The exception is Eric as he is often the topic of my writing but he rarely reads it as he doesn’t feel its his place to.

Beth December 22, 2009 at 1:52 pm

My parents don’t know and could probably not care less, my siblings know but I don’t think they read. Husband knows but respects my privacy.

Wendy December 22, 2009 at 4:08 pm

My mom reads my blog multiple times a day. It started irritating me so much that I had to stop looking at my statistics program. It makes me want to change URLs, but that’s a lot of effort.

Shelly December 22, 2009 at 4:22 pm

My mom is a faithful reader and I think some of my other family reads, but I’m not sure. I try not to censor myself, but of course I do. My hubby stopped reading long ago, but I try not to bash him unless I’ve already said the same to his face. I had a “secret” blog long ago purely for venting but it was always negative, naggy stuff and it felt yukky, so I gave it up. Now I’m just bitchier in person in my every day life.

Lasha December 22, 2009 at 6:26 pm

My blog is definitely a secret, although my sisters and a few friends know. For me the privacy is two-fold. I feel like my parents would expect me to write in a particular way and would think everything I wrote was “cute” . . . that would inhibit me for sure. A much bigger issue is my husband’s family. They are of a different religion/culture and would FREAK out about a lot of the aspects of our lifestyle (even just the mention of a glass of wine!). So, too big of a risk there.

Dotty December 22, 2009 at 9:24 pm

Well, I don’t really update my blog anymore. But, when I did it was in secret. I had real-life friends that read it, but never family. I didn’t really write about them or say anything bad, but I just preferred to keep it to myself.

Jerilyn December 22, 2009 at 11:06 pm

Back in the day, my father and my sister would read my blog – - I don’t trash the fam (for the most part) and I am extremely close to my family members – - so nothing I wrote was every a shock or a surprise to them.
Sadly, after my dad died, the emotional upheaval I went through gave me…..blog paralysis, I guess? I realized that I wrote a lot of introspective things – and they were too hard to revisit. And, what was left? The crap. Mindless, useless, brain-numbing crap. I keep hoping I am in some chrysalis phase and that my desire to write will finally come back.
I made a deal with myself when I started writing – if I want the catharsis of putting words to screen, I am going to stand by what I write – - and not censor it.

Shannon December 23, 2009 at 9:54 am

My dad and stepmom know about my blog courtesy of my mom and sister. My dad and stepmom aren’t even a little bit interested.

My mother and evil sister, on the other hand, read voraciously and read everything (including leaving nasty comments on an online article I wrote recently about anorexia. Why yes, I am in therapy.) Which is why I like to fuck them off periodically, since (HI MOM! ARE YOU READING HERE, TOO?) they stalk me like no one’s business. So I have given up writing worrying that they are reading.

Ms. Pants December 23, 2009 at 5:24 pm

That’s because your mom and sister are mouldy cunt sandwiches, honey. You apparently got all of the good DNA in that family, which seemed to be recessive and thusly not characteristically exhibited in sandwich A or B.

statia December 23, 2009 at 10:22 pm

That comment almost makes me wish your mom was reading here, Shannon.

Shannon December 27, 2009 at 9:56 am

I have little doubt she DOES read here.

I think I’ll use “moldy cunt sandwiches” as often as possible, too. That saying has legs.

Betty M December 23, 2009 at 3:34 pm

I blog in secret although some online friends know my real details. My sister probably suspects I blog but hasnt said she has found it. Its not that difficult to work out its me if you know me although I disguise some details. My parents wouldn’t know how to find it so I’m safe there. The miscarriages and the infertility would be a big shock to them as I have kept it private from all but about 2 IRL family and friends.

Huy December 24, 2009 at 11:22 am

I’m not one of those “popular” bloggers, but nevertheless I blog in secret. None of my side of the family knows, that I’m aware of. And I like to keep it that way. Not because I’m worried, it’s more that they wouldn’t understand. I just don’t feel like dealing with all that. Besides, I do vent about them occasionally. My wife’s side just hasn’t asked and I don’t advertise.

Flicka December 28, 2009 at 2:24 pm

I blog anon but my parents do read. My dad found my blog ages ago due to the fact that I failed to cover up my tracks while using his computer. (He didn’t know he wasn’t invited and hopped right on.) After he found me, I figured “what the heck” and just went with it. It’s not like either he or my mom are out to get me. And I think they are a part of whatever I blog about anyway.

There came a point when I started to wonder why I kept blogging anon as it seems everyone in the world has found me and continues to find me. Lying to myself? I don’t know.

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