I’ve seen it all over the internet this week: resolutions.
You’re either in the “I don’t make resolutions, because people never stick to resolutions” camp, or you’re in the “I make resolutions” camp. I think so many are in the former camp, because it’s guaranteed that you will fail. And that’s really pretty sad. That so many people put this insane amount of pressure on themselves once a year with a list of unacheivable goals. Sure, we’d all like to travel more, and look like supermodels, throw A-list parties. I don’t know what forces people to think unrealistically this time of year. I think it makes it all too easy for one to feel unfulfilled as a person.
This past year was a particularly difficult one for me. It wasn’t a bad year, overall. I can’t really ever call a year where you welcome a child into the world, a bad year. But I struggled a lot with becoming a mother of two, both before and after she was born. I still find it incredibly overwhelming, and not really so much the mothering part, probably more the anxiety. I still struggle with the Mini’s issues. I struggle more with myself with this, than I do with him. I struggle with my self esteem as a result. I’m in heavy therapy for this.
So this year, my big goal is to just give myself a break. It’s so easy to get caught up in everyday life, causing you to miss out on what’s in front of you. It’s a hug from your toddler, or a baby giggle. I spent so much of this year just worrying over every little thing. It was crippling at times. This is not going to be even remotely easy for me. But I don’t want to live my life under this lead apron anymore.
On top of my big goal for myself, which really is just something I need to adapt as a lifelong goal, I have other things I’m going to attempt to do. If they don’t work out, I’m making the promise to myself to not bent out of shape about it.
1. Lose weight. – Along with this, get into shape. I’ve had no motivation over the last few weeks, but I’ve cut back on the garbage I’ve eaten tremendously. I don’t expect that I’ll hit my goal weight this year, but who knows, maybe I’ll surprise myself. But I need to be healthier for my kids. (I think this is a popular one this year). I will never look like Heidi Klum, but then again, I never looked like Heidi Klum on my best day. But I really could do without the front butt that LG so graciously left me with.
2. Blog more. With my struggles this year, my creative side has been nonexistent. I struggle with writers block. I struggle with finding the comedic gem in every day life. I’d like to have a better rapport with people. Maybe gain a reader or two. I’ve often toyed with the idea of just quitting altogether, but after nearly 8 years of this crap, I’ve come to realize that blogging is just a part me. I can’t quit. So I might as well try and do a better job.
3. Take more pictures – Now, I take tons of pictures of my kids. I dress LG up like my little doll and she obliges me by being cute. But I want to try and take more pictures of every day life. I’m not comfortable just taking random pictures in public. I need to work on that.
Sounds pretty much like typical resolution type things don’t they? I need to set myself apart from everyone else and not make these seem all resolution-y.
4. Take over the world.
There. that’s better.
What about you?