It’s the holidays and we’re all in misery.

by statia on November 30, 2009

When I was younger, before the internet was my lifeblood not really popular, one of the things I really loved was going Christmas shopping.  I loved that the stores were open later and later as the holiday season wore on.  I loved the Christmas music in the stores and even the crowds, for some odd reason.  It was a source of comfort.

And now, as I’ve gotten older, and the internet really IS my lifeblood, I hate Christmas shopping.  I thought this would change, now that I have kids.  You know, going Christmas shopping for them should have taken on a renewed feeling of excitement and wonder.  But no.   Not even in the slightest and I’ve done most of their shopping online.  Part of me feels cheated by this, but not so much that I want to run out and try to deal with the crowds to force some holiday cheer down my throat.  My holiday cheer came in the form of saving myself $75 bucks off the Mini’s big holiday gift.   Also, the convenience of doing it from my laptop while sitting in bed, watching a movie.   Seriously, can it get any better than that when it comes to Christmas shopping?

Last week, I went out shopping to get some clothes for myself (that post baby body leaves me coming up short for anything that looks remotely good on me.  Is there a plastic surgeon out there willing to donate their services for a free body makeover?) While I was already grumpy (see above re: post baby body), I was so annoyed at what assholes people have become.   No holding the doors, refusing to even veer an inch to the left, in order to avoid a shoulder shove.   Walking at a snails pace 6 people wide.   Seriously.  What the fuck is wrong with people?   When did the holidays become so fucking miserable?   I want to say that I don’t remember it being this bad when I was younger, but I’m not so delusional to think that it was all cheer and good tidings.  Because I also think that my son was a sleeping champ at LG’s age, and that’s where I really need to pull my head out of my ass.

So I have a proposition.   I know that a lot of people are down on their luck this year, for whatever reason.  I know that 09 has brought forth some serious suck.   But that doesn’t mean you have to carry it around with you and pass it off to someone else.   If you can find it in you to maybe hold the door for one person, or maybe smile and say “good day” or “happy holidays”  or whatever gets your rocks off, maybe we can get through the holidays a little easier and slightly happier.

I’m challenging all of you.   One hello.  One thank you.  One holding the door open.

And if they don’t respond to the kindness positively.  You have my permission to kick them in the fucking crotch.


Solonor November 30, 2009 at 1:19 pm

Merry Fucking Christmas!

Ms. Pants November 30, 2009 at 1:31 pm

I’m in! If only for the hopes that I get to make good on that crotch kicking thing….

jesser November 30, 2009 at 1:40 pm

I love all of the decorations and Christmas music, etc. but I’m with you on the shopping. Especially with two kids in tow. NO THANK YOU. My parents were watching the kids during the only foray I made into the mall so far this season (the only one I PLAN to make). The internet is my homey (homie?). Though I do plan to take Tabby to a toy shop at some point so that she can buy her baby brother a “baby toy” … this was her idea and I love it.

I know I may be bitchy at times, but I really do strive to be courteous, at the malls, on the roads, and otherwise. Honest. I will continue to be so … and get at least a little annoyed at those who aren’t.

What’s the mini getting for his “big” gift this year? Tabby’s BIG gift is the remodeling of the basement so she has her very own toy room … thus her “big” gift is a $50 Playmobil set that I think she will flip over. Ben is getting a truck.

Also, password when you get a min?

Jenn November 30, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Yeah, I don’t get it either. With more people getting increasingly preachy about religion, you would think there would be a molecule of kindness and generosity among those supposedly “celebrating the spirit of the season.” What a joke. While I try to not only be kind out there but also compensate for the Christmas asshats, my holiday spirit does occasionally call for a gift-wrapped size 8 up someone’s patoot.

pixielation November 30, 2009 at 4:04 pm

We had to go shopping the other day to get new plimsoles for small daughter. The crowds were hideous, but I knew they would be, so I had my extra patient head on. I held doors open for others and gave out lots of smiles and good will. And I got them back too. Sometimes it just takes one person to spread a bit of happiness, and hopefully the people who are touched by you will go on to spread a bit of their own.

Aunt Becky November 30, 2009 at 7:30 pm

I am so with you on this. Because you know what? I’m tired of people kicking me in the gonads. I’m always fucking cheerful. And I will always BE cheerful even when I’m crabby because it never hurts anyone to be nice to other people.

Crotch kicking is fun.

Also. Am I cool enough for your password?

Shelly November 30, 2009 at 8:35 pm

I try to always be nice and friendly and say thank you as if I mean it. But I gotta say, people are generally just assholes. Self absorbed assholes who drive badly. But maybe that’s just me.

Donna December 1, 2009 at 12:00 am

People are assholes. Hey, my husband’s been out of work for a year and a half, so fuck off! Oh…sorry about that. I am always nice even when other people are not, I wait until I get back in my car to vent and yell through the closed window. I feel better. And I didn’t make any noise pollution. An old man stopped me the other day to say, “Rap music, can’t stand it.” Ummm…happy holidays? Also, password for the protected blurb would be good.

Lisa December 1, 2009 at 4:24 am

I’ll hold a door for someone once. If they don’t thank me going through the first door, I enjoy watching the second door smack them in the face as they expect me to hold it open for them.

Faith December 2, 2009 at 11:24 am

Last week, I saw a bumper sticker on someone’s car that was all festively done up and said, “We say ‘Merry Christmas’”. I guess this was important for them to tell everyone who happened to be driving behind them because they were worried about folks trying to catch up with them, rolling down their windows, and wishing them “Happy Holidays”?

Whatever. Like you said, people are assholes.

I was very proud of myself last week when I was out shopping for final food items needed for Thanksgiving dinner…I helped TWO people that day. One in Costco who was looking for her mother/friend who was in a motorized scooter cart that I’d passed (she couldn’t find her because she’d disappeared down an aisle, and I’d happened to see which one she went down), and then another in Whole Foods who was in need of a baguette, and the bread counter lady said they were sold out. I looked to my left and saw a pile of half-baguettes and asked her if they would do while handing her one of them. She asked me if there were more, and I moved out of the way to show her the bounty of goodness, and handed her a 2nd one. She was SO grateful. It was nice. I still smile when I think about it.

It’s NICE to make people happy. (Dammit.)

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