I’m an HGTV addict. Also, a food nerd, but most of the time, my TV is tuned to some sort of real estate show on HGTV. It’s mindless, but for some reason, I’m drawn to the stupidity of people that are on these shows.
Take Bang For Your Buck, for instance. Aside of the fact that the creators of this show think they’re funny, and could have come up with a name that sounds better than getting the cheapest whore for your money, the running commentary coming from the people watching the hosts and various real estate agents give their opinions on the homeowners decorating tastes and remodeling projects makes me laugh, also sometimes irate. Also, it causes me to use run-on sentences. Who knew? I have to wonder if any of these people actually ever watch anything on HGTV, because they get rather pissy when a real estate agent shits on their design choice. It’s something akin to that belligerent asshole in the movie theater that has to loudly comment on the movie, or someone who talks to the screen. Really? Look, I get it. It’s YOUR choice how you want to decorate your little slice of the American dream, really. If you want to paint your entire house purple and green stripes with swarovski crystal embellishments, that’s your perogative. I mean, if you plan on staying in this house until they drag your corpse out, then who gives a shit, other than you probably chose to have your house featured on TV, so that you can see what Vern Yip thinks of your warm maple cabinets. But if you really think that your choices were so great as to leave them like that when you go to sell your house and then get annoyed because you have to spend the money to make it look generic, well then you’re just a fucking retard. I don’t get how these people just fail to understand that not everyone is going to love those personal touches you so painstakingly picked out.
When we were looking to buy a house, sure in a perfect world, I wanted move in ready. I wanted the updated kitchen, and neutral colors. House after house had nothing even close, and at the time, it was less of a buyers market than it is now. It blew my mind as I walked through house after house, with dated kitchens, electric blue carpet with gold wallpaper (yes, really) I could look past the wallpaper and paint choices, those were easy to fix, but when you go in with ideas of “oh, we’ll just update the kitchen and replace the old carpets with hardwoods,” I laugh at you. Because I was that naive once, and my kitchen is still nearly the same as it was when we moved in, except much much messier.
I don’t really have a point to this, except maybe to say, people, start logging hours on HGTV if you plan on putting your house on the market.