Now that I’m finally a parent, I’ve decided that I’m now well within my rights to use those handy Mom phrases.
Sure, there’s your standard “STOP POKING YOUR SISTER.” And “What do you think we live in a barn?” But ultimately, there are phrases your mother used that drove you crazy when she said them, because she probably always said them, and you got sick of hearing them. And you swore that you would never say them to your own kids, because you were just too cool for that. And now you realize, that you’re too old to be “cool” and you want to stun them for a minute with a witty phrase, so that they stop talking for just a solid two minutes. Hey, you’re not asking for much.
Him: Where we goin’ Mama, where we goin?”
Me: Crazy. Wanna come?
Me: Well we’re already there.
Him: What’s that Mama?
Me: It’s a sign.
Him: A sign. What’s that Mama? What’s that?
Me: A fountain.
Him: Oh. What’s that Mama? What’s that?
Me: Are you writing a book?
Me: Then leave this chapter out, and make it a mystery.