Mom Phrases

by statia on September 11, 2009

Now that I’m finally a parent, I’ve decided that I’m now well within my rights to use those handy Mom phrases.

Sure, there’s your standard “STOP POKING YOUR SISTER.”   And “What do you think we live in a barn?”  But ultimately, there are phrases your mother used that drove you crazy when she said them, because she probably always said them, and you got sick of hearing them.   And you swore that you would never say them to your own kids, because you were just too cool for that.  And now you realize, that you’re too old to be “cool” and you want to stun them for a minute with a witty phrase, so that they stop talking for just a solid two minutes.  Hey, you’re not asking for much.

My favorites?

Him: Where we goin’ Mama, where we goin?”

Me: Crazy.  Wanna come?

Him: Yes.

Me: Well we’re already there.

Him: What’s that Mama?

Me: It’s a sign.

Him: A sign. What’s that Mama?  What’s that?

Me: A fountain.

Him: Oh.  What’s that Mama? What’s that?

Me: Are you writing a book?

Him: Yes.

Me: Then leave this chapter out, and make it a mystery.

Him: …….

You?

{ 4 comments }

Faith September 11, 2009 at 4:01 pm

I don’t have any mom phrases of my own, really. I tell Jake that he’s lucky he’s cute a lot, but I don’t think he gets it. I wish dogs spoke human, dammit!

My mom was famous for the “life is not fair” phrase. It usually ellicited a low growl and a big pout from me by the time I was 10. Prior to that, I tried to argue my point, in hopes that life would become more fair for me. Fuck the Twin, I’M the important one! After all, if I hadn’t gotten out of her way, she’d still be in that damned womb…

steff September 11, 2009 at 6:53 pm

I have two boys 12 and 6.

Most commonly heard in the last week:

Stop FARTING at the dinner table

Runner Up:

You get what you get and dont throw a damn fit.

Everyday: Momma loves you!

:-)

DD September 12, 2009 at 10:24 pm

We’ve responded with the “Crazy!” when asked where are we going. XBoy doesn’t appreciate it.

When he says, “I’m hungry!”, we’ll respond, “Nice to meet you, Hungry. I’m Mom!”

My mom use to tell us to “Go jump off a bridge” or “Go lay an egg” when we were driving her nuts. When you’re little and you actually have a bridge on your property, it makes you really think about what she’s saying. As for laying an egg, we just thought she wanted us to go get the eggs from the chickens. Hey, I didn’t say we were smart kids.

Kathy September 17, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Him: Where’s Daddy? (the same question he askes evey single morning and the answer never changes)

Me: CHINA.

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