Children should be seen and not heard.

by statia on September 13, 2009

My mother, god love her, does a lot of stuff for us.  I’m talking way above and beyond.   With the Mini, she was, for the most part, not up my craw about how to raise him.   Every now and then, she’d try to cover him up with a blanket (because he HAS to be cold when it’s 75 and he’s wearing PANTS).  One time, she gave him something after I explicitly told her not to, and that was the last time that happened.  You get my drift.  I’m not knocking the woman.  She vacuums my garage.

However, she has been up my ass about getting Little Girl on a schedule.   Every time she asks if she’s napping or if she sleeps in her crib, she tells me that I have to get that girl on a schedule.   For the most part, she is on a schedule.  She generally sleeps well at night, practically begging to go to sleep at about 7:30, and sleeping until about 5:30-6.  I’d call that sleeping through the night.   At that point, she’s fed and then brough into bed with us so that she’ll sleep even later.  I don’t DO getting up at 5:30 to start my day.  I generally have to plead and prod to get her out of bed in the morning, at 8:30.  You know, I’m not complaining.  I’d say that’s a pretty successful sleeping arrangement for the interim.

As for naps, well, she’s actually still somewhat on a schedule.  She goes down for about an hour in the morning, in her crib, and then maybe takes another catnap between then and two, and then takes another hour and a half to two hour nap on our bed.  Quite frankly, this is not my favorite way to get her to nap, but I choose my battles and if it’s between napping on my bed, or not napping at all,  I don’t mind relaxing on my bed with my laptop while she sleeps.   That is not the worst thing in the world.

When the Mini was this age, he was pretty much nearly the same way.   Except for sleeping in his crib.   I can’t really say that he napped in his crib at all until at least 6-8 months, and I remember being so stressed and fucking annoyed at a baby, because OMG, HE’S NOT ON A SCHEDULE.  He needs to be on a schedule!!!  I lived and died by the mere thought of this child needing to be on some sort of fantasy schedule.   The lack of him napping sent me into such an anxiety, that there were days where I would call the Meester at work and tell him to get his ass home, pronto, because one or both of us were going to be dead.

So this time around, I keep telling my mother to shove it, because there is no way this kid is old enough to be on such a regimented schedule, and really, working myself up over this does no good for anyone.   I can’t make the kid sleep unless I drug her, and really, the thought is tempting sometimes when I have two kids who decide to eschew their daily nap, but being a little more (read: by about 5%) seasoned at this whole parenting gig makes me realize that, more often than not, it’s not all unicorns and rainbows in parentland.  In a perfect world, they would both take at least a two hour nap, every day.  AT THE SAME TIME.

In a perfect world, I would win the lottery (without having to actually play), and being high on valium would be socially acceptable.

{ 10 comments }

Betty M September 14, 2009 at 3:48 am

Sounds like a schedule to me but then I speak as someone whose children have never napped in their cots. They napped sure just not there. As long as they napped I was a grateful schedule be damned.

Beth Fish September 14, 2009 at 6:03 am

Child #2′s schedule has always been “get dragged around after Chlid #1 and sleep when you can.” Child #1 napped on my lap or nowhere for the first eight months though, so naps that happen anywhere else seem totally perfect to me.

Dotty September 14, 2009 at 7:07 am

Sounds like a schedule for sure.

I don’t think mine napped in her crib until 9 months. Before that it was the swing, carseat or me — whatever works to get a little peace, eh?

jesser September 14, 2009 at 7:54 am

Umm… that sounds like a schedule. And a much nicer one than the one Ben is on. Where he wakes up and DEMANDS a bottle at 10 dB usually at least once between midnight and 3 AM. Napping … sometimes happens, sometimes doesn’t. And hardly ever in his crib. You guys are doing fine.

tuesday September 14, 2009 at 8:50 am

you can only do what you can do. I always let me knids form their own schedule and we stuck with it.

Claire September 14, 2009 at 9:07 am

I cannot imagine what it’s going to be like with two kids and trying – wanting – to get them to nap at the same time. Sounds like you have it down pretty decent to me.

Mina September 14, 2009 at 10:05 am

Not being home from 3 months onwards, I let the daycare center control Z’s schedule. I know that they didn’t think he needed to be on a real “schedule” til he was 14 months and moved to the bigger kid classroom. Then, he was only allowed to sleep once a day. They did let him sleep 2-3 hours though.

Thankfully, he naps at daycare for 2 hours minimum a day. His day starts earlier then most so I figure it’s probably for the best.

PiquantMolly September 14, 2009 at 11:29 am

Your mom needs to chill. You’re doing great.

Avoiceofmyown September 15, 2009 at 11:14 pm

Your kid is sleeping through the night. Enough said.

Flicka September 23, 2009 at 6:51 pm

When Sam was small a bunch of people told me he had to be on a schedule and I totally bought it. I really regret it, looking back. I wish I’d just relaxed and let him do what he wanted to. He fell into his own schedule eventually and it was NOT the one I tried to force him into. I’ll never get those first baby days back again and considering the reflux hell we went through, it makes me cry to think of the time I missed. Good for you for doing what you think is best for LG. You and you alone are her mother for a reason!

xo
Flicka

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