Guess who’s coming to live with us, and will also steal half of your toys?

by statia on March 6, 2009

When I was pregnant with the Mini, I got very little unsolicited advice. I think it was the look on my face. No one touched me (thankfully, no one has touched me now, not even my own family, lest they face certain death), with the exception of the Meester of course. But I was really happy for the lack of stupid cliche comments that everyone seems to make. I try not to be that asshole either. And when someone asks what it’s like, I tell them, that of course it’s hard, but there’s really no real way I can explain it to you in anyway that would prepare you for what’s about to happen. You just have to experience it yourself. And I try not to say it in a way that leaves them wondering if it’s too late to back out of this whole parenting thing.

Anyway, this time around, I haven’t been as lucky, but I’m a pretty direct person and when people give me stupid advice about having two kids, I usually cut them off. I mean come on. Two kids is going to be harder than one. I’m aware of that. I’m sure they’ll conspire. I’m sure I’ll be stupid exhausted in the beginning. I’m sure I’ll be a lot of things. But just like having your first, you have really no idea what to expect, save for remembering what sleep deprivation is like and how newborns don’t come out of the womb with any sort of dexterity or understanding of anything.

My favorite question by far is “Is the Mini excited about the new baby?” Um, anyone who has ever asked this question has obviously never had a two year old. Or their two year old was a super genius who had the comprehension skills of an adult. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but even the smartest two year olds I know (and I know quite a few, all who are recently new big sisters or brothers) lacked that understanding before their siblings were born. Do we tell him about the baby? Yes, every day. When he sees pictures of the ultrasounds he knows “who” it is in broad terms. He asks about the baby, but not in the “where is it?” sort of way. It’s more just a label at this point. If you ask where the baby is, he’ll point to my belly, or sometimes his. If you ask him what kind of baby he’s having, he can tell you the sex, but to equate pointing to my belly, or pictures with something coming to live with us to a child that doesn’t understand the concept of time, is just… well, silly. And I think my kid has pretty decent comprehension skills for his age.

I know that it’ll be a huge adjustment for him. He loves babies. He loves seeing his friends brothers and sisters and loves to touch them, but he has no idea that one of THOSE is going to come and live with us forever. And I have a feeling when he realizes that, he’s going to be pretty damn pissed off about it.

But then again, I have no way of knowing until we actually get to that point, so I don’t really sit around worrying about it. It’s pointless.


Amy March 6, 2009 at 1:51 pm

Let me tell you what you need to do…


Our kids will have about the same age difference, and I remember that feeling of “What will it be like having two? I guess I’ll find out when it happens!” I’m not a fan of the unsolicited advice-givers myself. Thankfully, I didn’t get too much of it.

Meredith March 6, 2009 at 6:04 pm

We get the “is he excited?” question all the time too. And when I respond that Finn has no real idea what is about to befall him, people respond like I’m telling them that he’s a little “slow.” Very annoying. I even had one friend go on about how her own son completely and totally understood that a baby was coming when he was Finn’s exact age. Riiiiight…..

jesser March 6, 2009 at 8:23 pm

I really do think people do forget what kids are like at different ages especially if they’re not around them. When my nephew was born, his older brother refused to believe that “Wes” was the baby in front of him and kept pointing to his mom’s tummy like “you people can’t fool me … Wes is in there.” I expect a similar situation with Tabby but I have no idea how she’ll react or how her behavior will be effected.

Donna March 8, 2009 at 1:40 am

Dude! How did you get to be the Mama of a 2 year-old with another one on the way? It will be what it will be, for your kid, and for you. Nobody knows shit. I should know, I too, know shit.

Suzanne March 8, 2009 at 12:32 pm

I read something once about how kids around 2 are usually initially fascinated with the new baby but lots of times don’t realize that the baby is STAYING and ask when the baby is going to be returned.

royann March 28, 2009 at 5:01 pm

I am three years older then my brother. I have very clear memories of trying to sell him to strangers at Gemco. People would remark what a cute little boy, and I would immediately start to bargain with them to take him.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: