When I was pregnant with the Mini, I got very little unsolicited advice. I think it was the look on my face. No one touched me (thankfully, no one has touched me now, not even my own family, lest they face certain death), with the exception of the Meester of course. But I was really happy for the lack of stupid cliche comments that everyone seems to make. I try not to be that asshole either. And when someone asks what it’s like, I tell them, that of course it’s hard, but there’s really no real way I can explain it to you in anyway that would prepare you for what’s about to happen. You just have to experience it yourself. And I try not to say it in a way that leaves them wondering if it’s too late to back out of this whole parenting thing.
Anyway, this time around, I haven’t been as lucky, but I’m a pretty direct person and when people give me stupid advice about having two kids, I usually cut them off. I mean come on. Two kids is going to be harder than one. I’m aware of that. I’m sure they’ll conspire. I’m sure I’ll be stupid exhausted in the beginning. I’m sure I’ll be a lot of things. But just like having your first, you have really no idea what to expect, save for remembering what sleep deprivation is like and how newborns don’t come out of the womb with any sort of dexterity or understanding of anything.
My favorite question by far is “Is the Mini excited about the new baby?” Um, anyone who has ever asked this question has obviously never had a two year old. Or their two year old was a super genius who had the comprehension skills of an adult. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but even the smartest two year olds I know (and I know quite a few, all who are recently new big sisters or brothers) lacked that understanding before their siblings were born. Do we tell him about the baby? Yes, every day. When he sees pictures of the ultrasounds he knows “who” it is in broad terms. He asks about the baby, but not in the “where is it?” sort of way. It’s more just a label at this point. If you ask where the baby is, he’ll point to my belly, or sometimes his. If you ask him what kind of baby he’s having, he can tell you the sex, but to equate pointing to my belly, or pictures with something coming to live with us to a child that doesn’t understand the concept of time, is just… well, silly. And I think my kid has pretty decent comprehension skills for his age.
I know that it’ll be a huge adjustment for him. He loves babies. He loves seeing his friends brothers and sisters and loves to touch them, but he has no idea that one of THOSE is going to come and live with us forever. And I have a feeling when he realizes that, he’s going to be pretty damn pissed off about it.
But then again, I have no way of knowing until we actually get to that point, so I don’t really sit around worrying about it. It’s pointless.