Damn kids

by statia on March 12, 2009

It’s true what they say, that kids age you faster than anything.   Kathy asked me something the other day that resonated with me.  “Do you breathe a sigh of relief after you’ve put the Mini to bed?”

Um, that would be a YES?

Not only have you made it through another day unscathed, but you’ve made it through the monotany that is toddlerhood.  You’ve managed to entertain them, feed them and not lose your patience when they’ve repeated the same thing 9,000 times in a row.  “For the love of GOD, YES IT IS APRICOT JUICE.”

Yesterday proved to be one of those days where my kids were putting me in an early grave.

1. We enrolled the Mini in nursery school yesterday.  I know you’re thinking, he’s only two?  Yes.  I thought that same thing last year.  Like, isn’t that something for four year olds?  I know I didn’t go until four.   But apparently, there are two year old programs now.   He’s already been registered for next fall, but since he turned two last week, I figured it might benefit him to get him in for the last couple of months of the year.  Our local YMCA has fabulous programs that aren’t rape you in the ass expensive.   Right now, he can really benefit from the socialization as he’s a little immature socially with peers his own age, so this will be good for him.  This will also be good for me, because otherwise, he’ll be living with me when he’s 40, and I’ll still be wiping the crumbs off his face with my saliva soaked thumb.  What can I say, I have a hard time letting go.    I’m already a bit freaked out, as I tend to be the type of person that worries about the worst case scenarios.  What if he gets out and runs out into the street?  What if this, or what if that?   I need to work on letting go of some of that anxiety.   Given that it’s only two days a week, for two and a half hours, the Mama’s break thing isn’t really a part of why I’m sending him to school.

2.  I had my ceremonial trip to labor and delivery last night.   Let me just say that everything is FINE.  We’re all just FINE (and I should add a great big thanks to Buzz and Puzz for coming over last minute to keep an eye on the Mini).   I was just not feeling right, and have been having braxton hicks out the ying yang, and some of them were painful.  Fetus 2.0 sits much lower and is much more active than the Mini ever was.  The activity is insane.  So I’m not used to being kicked in the cervix.  I’m also not used to a child not spreading my rib cage out to see how far it’ll go before snapping in half.   This one hated the monitors with the red hot passion and I was convinced that it was going to just claw it’s way out, rip them off and shake them back and forth into shreds like a rabid dog.   I’m pretty scared for this one to be born.   Of course, everything was fine, and we were sent home after an hour or so, but I was told that I need to rest and take it easy.

I think I pretty much echo every single parent of a toddler when I say, in what fucking universe is that possible?

{ 6 comments }

Shanna March 12, 2009 at 4:52 pm

Dude, that’s why God invited babysitters.

As for the making through the day bit…I don’t think I’ve made it through a day yet WITHOUT losing my patience, so you are way ahead of me.

Dotty March 12, 2009 at 5:29 pm

My daughter started nursery school 2 months ago. I was biting my nails over sending her 2 days a week (she goes all day) and freaking out over it. Turns out it was the best thing ever. She started talking more, is learning about this thing called sharing and suddenly knows how to climb up and down the stairs. It will be hard at first, but in the end it’s awesome!

Mina March 13, 2009 at 7:10 am

My son use to have issues with the monitors too. Everytime they’d get me settled in, he’d wake up and start kicking THAT spot until it slipped and stopped reading his heartbeat. It was almost amusing how consistently he did this. He was a very active baby in the womb. I had to start singing him to bed at night so he’d stop moving and let me get some sleep!

Susanne March 13, 2009 at 5:39 pm

Gee, I don’t know how you made it to age 2 without a break. We started playschool the week mine turned 1. He liked it so much, that he goes 3x per week, for half days. He actually cheers when he sees his “school.” Not that I’m taking that personally.

Siera March 13, 2009 at 10:53 pm

Ah good old L&D. I went in to L&D on Valentines Day night last year with what I thought could be preterm labor was just constipation. I am sure my midwife was less than thrilled to be called in.

Meredith March 14, 2009 at 5:45 pm

I would so love for Finn to be able to start a nursery school program that lets him go a couple of times a week, but, alas, there is no such thing in our small town for children under the age of three. I also would have once thought that a two year old wouldn’t be ready, but I look at Finn and know that he would love going. Sigh.

And, hey, lady, take it easy! (I was told the same thing when contracting like crazy through my third trimester. Too bad advising it doesn’t make it possible.)

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