It’s a word that still haunts me.
Back in the days of fertility treatments, it was the bane of my existence. As any infertile can attest, just hearing the words come out of some “well meaning” stranger’s (or close relative) mouth is enough to cause your sphincter to creep up into the nethers of your spinal cord somewhere.
I should have known that once you have a kid, that exact word, is sure to illicit pretty much the same effect.
While I consider myself a pretty private person, I was open with my fertility on here, and again with the Mini’s issues. If only for two reasons: documentation and to help someone else who may be going through the same thing.
I’ve gotten a lot of shit from people regarding all of the things we’re doing with and for the Mini. And really, I don’t think we’re doing so much that it’s having a negative effect. But, I find that the comments of “relax! he’s just a baby.” or “He’s perfectly FINE” is actually worse to hear than hearing “just relax” during the days of trying to get pregnant. For one thing, these people don’t live in my shoes. They don’t deal with him on a regular basis. Sure, to you, he may very well seem “normal.” But you stick him in a room full of mainstream kids and there’s just something not quite right. I’m not saying he’s a social outcast, or that he’s so far behind his peers that he’s going to be ostracized when he’s older, but he’s got some minor issues. That’s just the way it is. It’s not the end of the world. But why just let it go, or worse yet, why take a wait and see approach when I can deal with it now, while he’s still in the prime learning stage, and when he won’t remember? Why would I wait until it’s a holy mother fucker of a problem and he’s having a hard time connecting with peers because he’s got a hard time communicating with them? Kids are assholes. Learning to make friends early on, pretty much shapes your whole way of making friends in the future. Why should I wait so that it makes it harder for him? I get that kids change a lot in the first couple of years. Especially the 2nd and 3rd year. But the problems we face are those that are likely to manifest itself into a bigger problem later.
He’s young, yes. But he’s hanging onto his Echolalia much longer than he should, and his pragmatic language is painfully slow to develop. It’s very frustrating to deal with all day (Me: What do you want to drink? Him: Want to drink? Me: Yes, what do you want to drink? Him: Want to drink? and on and on and on until infinity or I jab a butter knife in my jugular, whichever comes first), especially when you’ve been dealing with it for months.
He’s an insanely smart kid. He’ll be fine. This will pass at some point, but fuck those well meaning strangers who tell me to relax and just wait and see what happens. Relaxing is not an option.