Open letter to my Master Bathroom toilet

by statia on January 8, 2009

Dear toilet in my master bathroom,

I realize that while I had the benefit of regular pooping during my last pregnancy, I’m not as lucky this time.  Granted, I’m still pooping on a regular basis and I’m not gripping anything as if I’m birthing the baby out of my ass, but I know they’re not light fluffy turds of gestastions past.

But come on, they’re NOT THAT BIG.  For chrissakes, could you just swallow the damn things down, instead of choking on them?  I know the Meester would appreciate this most of all.  I’m tired of being the resident toilet clogger around here.

Love,

Statia

{ 2 comments }

donna January 8, 2009 at 10:19 pm

Nothing makes you feel more ladylike than laying a big length of cable and then having the toilet back up, huh? I figured out how to fix it without having to involve the hubs. Mainly just because he’s always traveling.

Chris January 10, 2009 at 12:02 am

You crack my shit up! My toilet cloggers came after each of my c-sections. My bowel would end up paralyzed after each surgery which led to back up (extreme) which led to many the painfuls births of another kind on the toilet. Hmmm, TMI?

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