Dear toilet in my master bathroom,
I realize that while I had the benefit of regular pooping during my last pregnancy, I’m not as lucky this time. Granted, I’m still pooping on a regular basis and I’m not gripping anything as if I’m birthing the baby out of my ass, but I know they’re not light fluffy turds of gestastions past.
But come on, they’re NOT THAT BIG. For chrissakes, could you just swallow the damn things down, instead of choking on them? I know the Meester would appreciate this most of all. I’m tired of being the resident toilet clogger around here.