Thanks for all the congratulatory comments. This whole thing is still blowing my mind. While the Mini is and was amazing in his own right, nothing has prepared me for seeing this child on an ultrasound. Every single time, I’m just amazed that my body has done what it’s supposed to do.
I will say that while we’re more excited (and very scared) at the thought of another one, I can’t say that this was met with warm hugs and tears of joy. There were dark times in this house for awhile and the Meester’s response to my relaying the news (“Uh baby? We have a problem…”) was something along the lines of “are you fucking kidding me?” See that whole post that was written just about a week before the big bomb went off round these parts. I can’t say that I was exactly thrilled about it either, which will piss off a lot of people that read this, but there it is. I felt awful thinking like that, given so many others would kill to be in my position. But you can’t really help how you feel.
Obviously things are better now. We’re looking forward to it. We’re happy about it. The Mini will have a little brother or sister to boss around. I never expected this to happen. No matter how many doctors told me that it was common, I have tubal blockage on both sides and a bunch of other issues. I guess I managed to cheat the system long enough before my reproductive parts decided to get wise to my funny business (i.e. lack of birth control).
There are quite a few reasons why I haven’t blogged about it. For one, once an infertile always an infertile. I can’t just take anything at face value in regards to my body and pregnancy. It’s been very odd for me to just relinquish control and not have any special treatment during this pregnancy. Where’s my extra ultrasounds? Where are my blood tests? I’m now just like a regular pregnant person, and it feels I have too much slack on my rope. Another reason is because I felt like I had my whole reproductive life as an open book for the entire world to see, a choice I made, and a choice I’m ok with. But this time I just wanted to get through the first trimester and make sure that this kid was staying put. And I wasn’t ready to just tell the world.
It’s definitely been a wild ride so far. It’s funny how much of my first pregnancy I blocked from my mind. When symptoms would arise, it would suddenly jar my memory. “Oh yeah, I remember how much that sucked.” There’s been definite differences, which is to be expected.
So, that’s that. I guess we’re just settling in and preparing for a mid May arrival. I guess that old rumor is true, it really is possible to get pregnant by having sex.