Whenever the Meester goes on business, it is a certainty that the world directly around me (i.e. this house) will crumble. Napping issues usually occur, waking up hours before the light of day is expected and well, the dogs, the dogs are just assholes. Add a cold (me) to the mix and I beg to be put into a coma for the duration.
This morning, a certain child decided to get up hours before his normal wake time, at which point I marched down the hallway, probably in my underwear, I don’t rememeber, changed a diaper, and administered motrin, because the teething, OH MY GOD, the teething. This child is nearly 20 months old and has been teething continually since June of last year. There are no actual teeth breaking the surface, no, they hide under the gums for several months before making an appearance. His fingers are constantly pruned, his mouth is chafed and red, no matter how much lotion I put on him. Yet there are four canines that are just fucking with him, with no end in sight.
Now, to be fair, he doesn’t really cry about it. I know it bothers him, but I try to limit his intake of drugs, so he bangs his head on his mattress to soothe himself and generally will sleep all night without any complaints. During his waking hours his fingers are ALWAYS in his mouth. Nothing else will do.
Anyway, I gave him the motrin, and told him it was back to bed. Because it’s still dark out.
There was no back to bed.
I finally got him out of bed and decided that today we were going somewhere other than the park and further than 10 minutes away, because we’ve rarely gotten out as of late. And of course, on the way back, he screamed and kicked the back of my seat.
Now, it’s natural of me to be looking forward to nap time. And it’s inevitable that because I’m the only one here, nap time will be a joke. And in true form, 45 minutes after he finally falls asleep, I hear him banging his head. And then the doorbell rings.
And all fucking hell breaks loose. The dogs go apeshit. I ream my neighbor (who, hello, I don’t think we’ve met) a new asshole, and then dash up the stairs to tend to a very hysterical child.
And then I told today to fuck off.