Right brained

by statia on July 8, 2008

We had our appointment with Early Intervention this morning. I wasn’t exactly nervous about it. I was anxious to find out what they’d say, and I was worried that he wouldn’t qualify for services, but hey, he ACED his delays, so we’ll be having someone come to the house twice a week for both occupational therapy as well as speech therapy. We totally screwed him up royally. Rock on. I’m so fucking proud.

The Mini has what’s classified as Global Developmental Delay. Meaning he meets or exceeds some areas, yet, at the same time doesn’t. If that makes sense. He has words (quite a few, actually), but doesn’t use them to communicate his basic needs for the most part. Now and then, he’ll say cup when he wants his cup, or milk when he wants his milk, but it’s not consistently and he doesn’t seek us out to get those needs met. The rest of his words come from some prodding on our part. And generally never when I point to a certain object. If I point to a horse, he isn’t quite making the connection of what the hell it is that I want, but if I say “horse” he’ll make his “neigh” sound. His gross motor skills are spot on, or ahead for his age (as well they should be for all of time he spends mastering all types of movement), but his fine motor skills are a bit behind. He has a hard time putting pegs in holes, or shapes in sorters without some sort of assistance. Although, truth be told, I can’t find a way to make that activity fun for him, and it’s met with more frustration than anything, so we don’t push it. I don’t want the kid to grow up blowing up random shapes because I forced him to shove the triangle in the proper receptacle. Tonight he put the circle in the round hole and we cheered like he was coming out on stage to perform a rock concert (even our chihuahua cheered). At least he found that slightly amusing. He can understand simple commands and has been able to for awhile (he could turn the pages of a book on command before nine months), but has a hard time understand more complex ones. He understands us. If we say go upstairs, he runs to the stairs. If we say “shut the door,” he shuts the door. If we say go to your chair, well, depending on his mood, and how hungry he is, he’ll go to his chair. I know he understands a lot of what we say, and I think he’s largely frustrated that he can’t communicate back.

His language, while he has words and is on track for the amount of words he has, is at about 6-9 month old level. He has the words, but the interaction and proper usage push him back delay wise.

The gist of it is that he’s somewhat bored (he’ll run around to stimulate his brain and then start to babble once he’s gotten some of his excess energy out). He’s right brained and a scattered learner.

I was quite surprised at how delayed he actually was in the areas he was delayed. Early Intervention people are very awesome and caring. They spent time interacting with him, and I think managed to write down nearly every word we said. At the end of the visit, I nearly cried. Finally we’re getting help. We’re not crazy. We’re not horrible parents. You have no idea what the hell they should be doing at what age when it’s your first. You just try to do the best you can.

I had an a follow up appointment with the Ayurvedic physician, which is a bit of a drive with traffic. It was without the Mini so that we could discuss any questions without him having a meltdown for being trapped in a small office. I had too much time to think due to being in the car for so long.

At first I was relieved, then I felt horribly guilty, and now I’m just sad. Not because I feel sorry for myself, or ourselves, as the case may be. It’s nothing I’m ashamed of. But because I feel as if somewhere along the way, I lost sight of what he was doing and therefore missed signs that I could have caught earlier.

Thankfully, she put me on something for anxiety, which, really, thank god, because I’m a hot mess.


Merrin July 8, 2008 at 8:12 pm

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You’re an AWESOME mom for paying enough attention to catch the signs he needed some extra help as early as you did. Don’t beat yourself up because you’re a ROCK STAR mom!

Shit, I need Xanax because of a frickin’ puppy. You’ve got a whole kid.

DD July 9, 2008 at 12:09 am

Do you know how proud I am of you? At Mini’s age, many a parent might have just accepted what the other parents/care givers would tell them, which is that you need to give it time and every child is different. You took that bull by the horns and kicked it in the balls.

Camille July 9, 2008 at 5:33 am

Girl! I don’t think you lost sight of anything. You caught on pretty quickly and you should be proud of yourself. And I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. :P You are an awesome mom! xoxo

geeky July 9, 2008 at 6:53 am

I’ll be thinking about you, the meester, and the mini! Try not to be so hard on yourself. You’re doing a great job and getting him the help he needs. You said it yourself: “We’re not horrible parents”. Yes, you’re GREAT parents. Hang in there!

mel July 9, 2008 at 6:55 am

I agree with everyone else. You are an awesome mom and you are doing a great job.

electriclady July 9, 2008 at 6:58 am

Agree with everyone else again–you are an AWESOME mom for picking up on the signs as early as you did. Your mama instincts have kept steering you right, over and over. Glad that the Mini is getting the extra help.

PiquantMolly July 9, 2008 at 8:01 am

You’re doing GREAT.

And you deserve a mojito.

Deltus July 9, 2008 at 10:21 am

Point is, you caught it and are having the problems dealt with.

tracey July 9, 2008 at 11:22 am

You are a great mom. You are not the cause for delays. You have been observing him and then acted on your intuition and made the calls. You did just what you should as his mom. He’s lucky to have you.

Now I know you’re still going to beat yourself up, so at least have a drink or two while you do it :)

And yeah, those intervention folks are the greatest. Wait till you see them work with him. Genius.

Take care

steff July 9, 2008 at 2:30 pm

Reality Check Blog Style: YOU GUYS ROCK!! No questions about it.

Just think, and this is really true, some people just ignore their motherly instincts or just flat do not pursue resources for their children. You acted upon yours and found resources that alone is huge! Plus your little boy knows you guys love him so much, that makes him whole and prepared to battle life! :-) Want some twix?

Karen July 10, 2008 at 7:16 am

Because our boys are the same age, I’ve been following your concerns w/ the Mini. I must say, I didn’t think we had any issues on our end but reading the last 3 or so posts and I’m now horribly concerned about my sons development. Can you tell me what Early Intervention is, do I need to talk to my ped before placing an inquiry?

jesser July 10, 2008 at 12:20 pm

Do not beat yourself up!! You didn’t cause this and you are not a bad mom … you’re a great mom. You paid attention, recognized a potential problem and went to work fixing it. You didn’t hide your head in the sand and worry how it would reflect on you (which it doesn’t). You just got in there and did what you thought was right for your kid. Kudos. Rockstar indeed!

MsPrufrock July 10, 2008 at 3:04 pm

Dude, this IS early. Not early is letting the kid get to four and wondering if you should have given into those nagging concerns three years earlier. I echo what the others say – you are a fantastic mom.

Also, want to give me some of that stuff you’ve been given for anxiety? Yeah, thanks.

millie July 10, 2008 at 6:58 pm

So very glad to hear you’re getting some help, and sounds like it’s great help. Glad to hear you’re getting some help for you too.

This IS early and early is really really good.

sarahbchicago July 11, 2008 at 4:06 am

I’m so glad that you and Mini have support and a new plan for furthering his development. I hope you can feel better soon, although I understand your feelings of anxiety and guilt.

And um, yeah, what Karen said. My daughter is a couple of weeks younger than Mini, and I’ve been becoming concerned in the last few months about language and motor skills and interaction with other kids. I’m setting up an appointment for a screening, but would welcome any additional information you can give.

Helen July 11, 2008 at 11:04 am

You love your kid. He loves you. Oprah couch talks are not in your future.

Sounds like being a pretty good mom to me.

And when you start those anti-anxiety stuff, let’s watch Teletubbies together and see if it makes more sense.

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