If I were to tell you, that after three days, I’ve began to see signs of my son returning, you’d think I was insane. But I have. We have. Both the Meester and I have witnessed behaviors returning and both of us have noticed other things that he’s never done before.
They’re subtle. It’s not like he sat down and started to solve calculus equations all of a sudden, nor is he saying “Oh hello mama, can you make me a sandwich?” It’s not like, as I told my friend Steph (Hi Steph!), I’m standing up at an altar saying “PRAISE JESUS, MY BABY HAS BEEN SAVED!” No, I really have nothing to gain by acting as such, either.
The Mini has always been very absorbed. But because he was on track developmentally and interacting with us (and others), I figured that was just his personality, and to some extent, it is. When he started to walk, he would often ignore us when out in public, and just run. To the point where it wasn’t enjoyable for me. For one, he wanted to run when he still wasn’t steady on his feet and would often fall on his face. I was constantly walking around holding my breath, with my asshole squarely located somewhere in my diaphragm. But eventually, he’d come running back over and throw his arms around my legs. Over the last month, we noticed a change in his behaviors. A lot more tantrums, especially if we held his hand, which he’d never done before. He wouldn’t stop to look back for us if he was running. He started to check out and avoid eye contact. Again, It was slow to happen. Another thing, was that he started sleeping through the night. And I can tell you exactly the last time he woke up crying, which was June 8th. Just two days after his last round of vaccines. Now, most people would say this was just a coincidence, and most people would also look at me as if I was crazy for complaining about something like that. But this was a child who would wake up at least twice a week, upset, and wanting to be comforted. And it’s no secret that napping was an issue. Yet, both of these things changed drastically. He no longer wanted to be comforted to go to sleep at night, and would roll over and go to sleep without so much as a glance as I walked out the door, and I wouldn’t hear a peep out of him until around 8 or so. Napping was much the same way, and when I would go in to get him, he’d rarely look at me and would run back and forth in his crib. I would call his name 6 million times and he’d ignore me. His hearing is fine. He started to get frustrated really easily. Little things would set him off. He started to do things more repetitively (read: OCD) than normal.
Today, the three of us went to Gymboree. Usually, he generally runs around, climbing, sometimes participating, but mostly just repetitively running up and down a particular ramp, or running back and forth across the mat, ignoring me. Something that was normal for him in general, but had become much more amplified over the last month. Today, he paid more attention. He stopped when the teacher held up the red card, and moved when she held up the green one. He actually paid attention, and looked at what she was doing. When I pointed to the bridge and told him to watch his head as he was standing up, he looked up and crouched down. The amount of times he’s actually looked in the direction that I’ve pointed, I can count on one hand. And the amount of times he’s stood up without listening or looking and cracking his head on a hard surface, well, I don’t have enough hands to count how many times he’s done that.
I realize that he’s a toddler and some things are totally normal toddler behavior. I also realize that all of this could be coincidental, and that he could just be hitting a developmental explosion. But I know my kid. And I know that some of these things are things that he’s never had any interest in doing.
And because it was bound to happen, I did get a comment regarding vaccines, from Thalia. I’m not anti-vaccine, which really is nobody’s business. However, I know that people aren’t going to agree with my thoughts on vaccinations. There’s a big divide, between science and personal experience. I’m speaking from personal experience of what I’ve seen with my own two eyes. And no one can change my mind because of that. I refuse to believe that the preservatives used in vaccines aren’t making some kids sick. These disorders are on the rise, there’s no mistaking that and I’m not pointing fingers at one thing. And anyone who believes that the FDA (and their biased scientific studies) is doing what’s best for us, needs to get their head out of their ass. Because for every FDA study that says there’s no correlation, there seems to be one that contradicts that (crackpot tinfoil hat articles linked in google, don’t count) Eventually, we will resume getting vaccines, once he’s better and once we can map out a schedule that we’re more comfortable with.
And I’m not having a go at you, Thalia for your comment. I’m just using it as an opportunity to voice what I’m seeing.
Let’s face it. He’s a little boy. Boys generally tend to develop more slowly and be more rambunctious (on average), and that’s fine. I don’t care, as long as he develops. But he was stagnated. Today, he said the world “yellow” (deh do), twice. I made him repeat it, because I thought I was hearing things. Tonight, he splashed happily in the tub, and then found it hysterical that he could fart. Which he forced himself to do repeatedly, until he pooped in the tub (I had a good 16 month poop free streak). He refused to nap, instead crying hysterically. He wanted to be rocked to sleep. And if all of that is because I’m rubbing some balms on his spine and throwing some cilantro pulp in with his pomegranate juice, then it’s all worth it.
His poop also smells (potently) like metal. That’s no coincidence.