General Bitchery

by statia on June 28, 2008

We’re away this week in Connecticut for a family scattering. Because we’re basically just staying in the same hotel. There’s not a whole lot of gathering going on. Just a few things worth pointing out:

  • What should have been a four hour trip turned into an eight hour trip. With a toddler who hates the car. Fuck you, Merritt parkway. Sideways. In the corn hole.
  • If I never have to listen to The Wonder Pets theme song ever again, I will scoop my ear drums out with an Italian ice spoon. Also, why must they give cartoon characters lisps? Sewiously. And I also sometimes question their judgement when saving particular animals. Like the baby turtle that was too stupid to make its way to the ocean. They were hell bent on getting this turtle into the ocean. Isn’t that going against the natural order of things? And how long did it take before that turtle became lunch?
  • And what better way to celebrate a family get together than with a baby who suddenly has a cold?
  • This trip is AWESOME!

    Anita June 28, 2008 at 9:55 am

    I don’t want you to have to scoop out your ear drums, it sounds painful. Let me sing a little song for you and make you feel better.

    Wonder Pets Wonder Pets
    We’re on our way
    To help baby turtle and save the day.
    We’re not too big
    And we’re not too tough
    But when we work together, we’ve got the Right Stuff.
    Gohhhhhhhhhh Wonder Pets, YAY!!!!!
    Linny, Tuck, and Ming Ming too
    We’re Wonder Pets and we’ll help you.
    What’s gonna work?
    What’s gonna work?

    Please don’t hurt me!

    divrchk June 28, 2008 at 11:00 am

    I drove from VA to MA yesterday and I second your FUCK YOU MERRIT PARKWAY however, I turn mine into FUCK YOU CONNECTICUT. It was the only traffic that I hit the entire drive.

    lilfootsmommy June 28, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    I live in the Southern area of NY and have been on the Merritt Pkwy my share of times…I am so with you…that pkwy is a total waste of highway!!! Good luck going home on it or perhaps find a different route…although I95 is no better really and it’s your closest alternative.

    Nic June 28, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    I love the blog and will be back soon. I have a long journey coming up with 2 toddlers and am SO looking forward to it. Oh, and them sharing a rooom for the first time. Wheeeeeee.

    electriclady June 28, 2008 at 1:51 pm

    I will see your four hours turned into eight hours with car-hating toddler and raise you a four hour trip turned into eight hours with car-hating toddler who has diarrhea.

    (Not that it’s a competition to see who can have the shittiest travel experiences with kids or anything. Er, no pun intended.)

    MsPrufrock June 28, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    Oh dear. I am thinkful I have no idea who the WonderPets are.

    Also, I feel better about our alleged 2 hour journey to Bristol a month ago which turned into 4 hours. I also have one of those car-hating toddlers.

    I hope the rest of the trip is an improvement.

    Fawn June 29, 2008 at 1:08 pm

    You will reconsider your feelings for the wonderpets when you see the PEE episode. It’s priceless.

    Deltus June 30, 2008 at 8:38 am

    Statia’s trip isn’t going as planned!

    This is sewious!

    We have to help her!

    (I’m a Lenny, I think. Not so much a Tuck, and definitely not a Ming-Ming.)

    Kate June 30, 2008 at 8:41 am

    Hey! How long you gonna be in CT? I fly home tomorrow.

    Stephanie June 30, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    Ok, so I know why *I* go to CT, but why the EFF are you in CT?

    jesser June 30, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    Damn. I don’t even know what the Wonderpets are. I’m so far behind.

    Tiffanni July 1, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    wow..I am sorry.
    Wonderpets = CREEEEEPY!
    I hope the rest of your stay there is better!

    amber July 2, 2008 at 10:40 am

    Who are these wonder pets? I have a 2 year old…I feel like I should know this. But I am an expert on the Wiggles.

    Hope the hotel has an elevator. elevator = a complete hour without screaming!

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