CSI: Philadelphia

by statia on April 10, 2008

I don’t think there’s anyway to ramp up to something of this magnitude. So I’ll just come out and say it.

My son, my wonderful, sweet, funny, loving baby, took a giant heaping dump on his bedroom floor.

We’ve had nightly naked time now for awhile. Ever since he ended up with raging eczema, back in December. It’s something he looks forward to, and gives him some time to air the junk out and run free. We should all be afforded that luxury. I happened to be quickly checking email as I heard him pad up and down the hall, and into his room with a set of bells from his instrument set. There was no bad quiet in this case. And then I noticed a small bit of poop on the floor, and thought that I was just not thorough in my wiping capabilities, which I’m fastidious at, thank you, as I’ve had years of practicing on myself. Or maybe I don’t. .

He did it in such a secretive spot, that I didn’t even notice the biggest turd to ever come out of a baby, just sitting there.

And then he stepped in it.

And now my husband is crawling around on the ground with a flashlight.

Never a dull moment with a toddler.

Thank god for Bissell.


ssfb April 10, 2008 at 4:25 pm

What? No photo?

Shanna April 10, 2008 at 5:44 pm

Seriously, it took this long? My kids have both pooped on the floor during naked time, though peeing is more necessary. They even bend down to help wipe it up afterwards.


Beth April 10, 2008 at 6:31 pm

Mia did that once, and I arrived on the scene just in time to see it happen and just barely in time to grab her before she plopped her little butt down into it. She pooped in the tub tonight, but at least that is much easier to clean up.

electriclady April 10, 2008 at 6:47 pm

Shanna’s twins are just totally advanced in the pooping department, they pooped in the tub eons before mine did. :)

Really, when you think about it, it makes so much more sense to poop out in the open on the floor than into your own pants.

jesser April 10, 2008 at 7:01 pm

Is it wrong that I’m almost in hysterics laughing. Mini pooper.

suzie April 10, 2008 at 8:09 pm

hey, next week our little family is going to the national aquarium for a visit. imagine how much poop he could pread around in the big dolphin tank!! are you in fr a field trip? we’d love to see you!

MsPrufrock April 11, 2008 at 1:23 am

I, like the others, am impressed it has taken this long. Admittedly, my own child first pooped on the floor at 18 months, so she’s more advanced than the Mini even.

She is keen on shitting in the bathtub though, and does this at least once a week. She does have the grace to shout “Poo! Poo!” before the lincoln logs appear, but she generally only gives us about 5 seconds to jump into action before the blessed event occurs.

I am laughing at the image of the Mini stepping in his poop. If it makes you feel any better, P likes to play with the puddle of wee she inevitable makes on the floor post-bath.

Kids and their bodily functions…crazy little things.

DD April 11, 2008 at 6:28 am

Somewhere there’s the making of a spoof commercial for replacements for the gel foot inserts.

Are you gel’n?

PiquantMolly April 11, 2008 at 7:30 am


That makes me want to shower.

amishpromqueen April 11, 2008 at 7:32 am

Yep, been there. And seriously, wtf is it with naked = biggest dump ever? Shortly afterward we instituted the nightly routine of Naked Time, Now With Blue Tarp! or What Mommy Doesn’t Want to Find in Her Sheets.

Shanna April 11, 2008 at 10:43 am

Oh yeah, my kids were tub-poopers for a while. I even sang the Rubber Duckie song to my son with pooping-appropriate words and noises for a while.

My daughter is a multi-phase pooper. When she was younger, my husband would argue (and win me over) that we should wait to change her until she is “finished.” Now I maintain that she should be stripped, wiped, and held up standing/squatting over a burp cloth on the changing table for the second (or third or fourth) phase. I tried the toilet once, but it just freaked her out.

Deltus April 11, 2008 at 10:46 am

At least he didn’t pick it up and start flinging it about with reckless abandon.

lfm April 11, 2008 at 6:45 pm

well, while we’re on the topic, I went to go put my daughter on the potty this morning, not knowing she had pooped a little bit in her diaper so I was kind of careless when i took it off and this clump of baby turd rolled out onto the floor!!! it only stopped because it hit my foot…IEW!!!

Tonya April 11, 2008 at 11:15 pm

My best way to get poop out of the tub? Cat litter box scoop. I took the one that came with our new cat box (unused) and stored it in the bathroom vanity. Yes, it came in handy! Still have to clean the tub, but the ick factor goes way down.

tricia April 12, 2008 at 8:14 am

HAHAHA… Oh man, nakey time took a turn for the worse!

motel manager April 14, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Interestingly, I was just thinking of implementing naked time since S. has a RAGING diaper rash that $100 worth of lotre.min AF and buckets of De.sitin have not been able to cure. But now that plan is postponed indefinitely!

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