Aged Pork

by statia on April 9, 2008

The Meester has OCD. It’s not official, but he’s germphobic, and for a long time would wash his hands constantly. It’s one of the reasons I think he’s always getting sick, whereas, I tend to just wipe my ass with my bare hand and then dig into a bag of potato chips afterwards, and I hardly ever get sick.

I might be exaggerating here for dramatic effect.

At least about the ass wiping part anyway.

The Meester also likes to refer to himself as 24×7 support, as people know that he’s computer savvy and they automatically rope him into fixing whatever it is that ails their computer. This isn’t something he always enjoys doing, but when he decided to become a geek, it was in his contract.

We were over my parents house over the summer, and my dad had some sort of issue with his computer, and had asked the Meester if he would take a look at it. My father, it should be noted, is a slob. Not just a slob, but a fucking slob that warrants the necessity of a bio-hazard tattoo on his forehead. He puts Oscar Madison to shame. Reluctantly, my husband goes into my father’s office. He comes back a short while later, with a look that was between a look of terror and disgust. My sister, who will jump at any chance to make an off handed comment, because the Meester is always ribbing her and thanks to him, everyone now puts “Uncle” before her name, said something along the lines of “kind of gross in there, isn’t it?” To which the Meester replied “I found a piece of bacon next to his keyboard.” After we all got a good laugh at that, he went upstairs to take a violation shower, and now bacon is the running joke in our house, one which we openly joke about in front of my father, who is completely clueless about it.

I got a text message from my sister today:

With only the subject: “Yup, it’s totally bacon.”

Right on the end table, next to the remote control.

I don’t really blog about my family too much, which I really should, because a lot of times, they make for good blog fodder.


Meredith April 9, 2008 at 5:41 pm

I’m less shocked about the fact that stuff gets left around than I am about the fact that BACON gets left around. In my house, there is never enough bacon; it’s always eaten immediately.

bitca April 10, 2008 at 5:21 am

I’m with Meredith…how can he waste the precious, precious bacon like that?! *appalled*


MsPrufrock April 10, 2008 at 6:48 am

Here’s your fucking comment, so quit moaning that I never say anything. Jesus.

I don’t think I could have bacon next to the keyboard, too greasy. Otherwise, I’d be totally cool with it. Only fresh bacon though, srsly.

Faith April 10, 2008 at 11:08 am

I’m so glad I’m not the only one that goes around leaving bacon lying around like that.

*Bacon’s Statia’s blog*

Deltus April 11, 2008 at 10:35 am

Tell the Meester I feel his pain re: 24/7 support. I know it’s in the geek contract, but really, people, give a geek some rest, huh?

And wasting bacon? That should be criminal.

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