YOU on a diet

by statia on February 15, 2008

With moving and all of the other changes this year, it’s pretty safe to say that I still have some baby weight to lose. Anywhere between 1 and 25 pounds worth of baby weight. I don’t look horrible, unless I’m naked and you can see the flabby pasty white pouch of skin flapping in the breeze, but thankfully, because of the fact that it’s winter, no one’s eyes are exposed to such horrific sights. Except for the Meester and that’s what he signed on for when he married me. Pouch flab and pasty white skin. And granny panties.

P.S. Today is his birthday. Happy Birthday, baby. My pasty white pooch and ass loves you very much.

One of the things about this new job that the Meester has taken, is that it requires a little more travel. Which isn’t something he was keen on, because for some reason, he misses his son, and mentally unstable wife. But a bonus for him, we’re now able to afford to accompany him if we wish. Unfortunately, this week, he had to go to America’s hat, and thanks to Celine Dion, Shania Twain, and Bryan Adams all of the Canadian terrorists running around, you’re now required to have a passport to enter their country. I still haven’t gotten around to getting my passport, so we had to stay home.

This was my first adventure in single parenting and I will tell you, being a single parent is hard as fuck, something I don’t have to tell the single parents out there. By Monday, it felt as if it should have been Friday. The Mini didn’t wait for the Meester to close the garage door before he decided to get a cold and hook up with Montezuma and seek revenge on Mama. Being sick and knowing that things were a little off, he decided that sleep wasn’t something that he was going to partake in. Somehow, we made it to Friday, and surprisingly, I didn’t have a drop to drink. And even more surprisingly, when I finally had time to step on the scale yesterday, I had lost 2lbs. And how I have no idea, because I spent the little time he did sleep, crying, while in the fetal position with lots of chocolate and Ben and Jerry’s.


Deltus February 15, 2008 at 9:08 am

America’s hat. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

jesser February 15, 2008 at 11:26 am

Holy shit. Isn’t it awful?! I hate when MyMeester is gone. HATE it. He hates it too, but I’m willing to be not as much as me. Cuz he gets to go schmooz and eat sushi. Whereas I stay home and clean up poop.

I have lost all of my baby weight. Now I just have the 30 pounds or so I was over *before* I got pregnant. Wait … maybe that’s gone and I still need to lose the baby weight. In any case, still fat.

Pam February 15, 2008 at 11:30 am

America’s Hat? Can’t say I’ve heard that term before. But for the record, if I fly to the US, I need a passport and by 2009 or sooner, anyone including US citizen’s will also require the passport to enter the US.

Stephanie February 15, 2008 at 5:28 pm

We’re coming into town – 4/17 thru 4/21 and we’d love to see you… all THREE of you! Hope you’re not leaving the country around then!

Jen(aside) February 16, 2008 at 6:45 am

I never ever want to be a single parent again. I was a single parent until Nate was one years old, and that boy never slept. Ever. He woke up every 2-4 hours for the first year and a half.

It was miserable.

Kris February 16, 2008 at 10:19 am

You only need a passport if you fly. Lucky us – we can practically walk across the border where we are.

Hubs works nights, so I’m single parent most of the time. It sucks, but what can ya do?

I needs me that chocolate and Ben&Jerry’s’ diet! I wonder how long I’d have to stay on it to lose 50 pounds. Seriously – I’m dedicated!!

ewe_are_here February 16, 2008 at 1:31 pm

I dread those weeks my husband heads off to the other side of the planet for business… very.long.days.

Glad you survived.

Motel Manager February 18, 2008 at 8:47 am

Being a single parent is ROUGH. I am in deep, deep awe of any single parents out there. Y’all rock.

I hope the Mini is all recovered and can get to work on saying, “Mama.” I wager he says it soon.

Zookeeper February 19, 2008 at 6:12 pm

America’s Hat…love it. Never heard that before, but it will be the new way I refer to Canada. I’ve had some issues getting out before though, so probably won’t return (I must look scandalous, because they ripped apart my car…whatcha lookin’ for?!)

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