We can’t stop, it’s too dangerous, we have to slow down first.

by statia on January 18, 2008

Last week, I got invitations to two first birthday parties. Both are from two little girls that are in our weekly swim class. Both little girls are only a few weeks older than the Mini. I’ve done absolutely nothing in regards to planning a first birthday. In fact, when the women of “the swim team” went out on Wednesday night, the rest of them pulled out 8 billion professional pictures out of their wallets to pass around. And when they asked me where all of my pictures where, I kind of stood there drooling.

We’ve gotten professional pictures done twice since he’s been born, which makes me a horrible parent, I suppose. With moving and I don’t know, making sure this small child stays alive, I’ve had very little time to actually get pictures done. And as for carrying them around, I never do, because, not only did we set up a gallery for the 5000 pictures we’ve taken of him since birth, but 9 times out of 10, he’s with me, so what better proof do I need to say that I had a baby? “Look, I’ve got one right here, and he’s really heavy, so if he wasn’t mine, do you think I would spend all day carrying him around?” He may not look a damn thing like me, but dammit, I have the spare flab and extra weight to prove it. Not to be upstaged, I got online that night and looked around for better-than-stuffy-posed-photographers. I found someone local, and we’re going to give it a shot next week. Haha. Shot? Pictures? GET IT?

The days leading up to the Mini’s first birthday are going alarmingly fast. I’ve started to have anxiety attacks about it. I’m just not ready for age one yet. I miss the itty bitty infant days. I don’t miss all of the stuff that goes with it. The sleepless nights, the constant screaming, going through forty billion outfits a day. I really don’t miss that. I miss how little he once was, and am mourning the fact that I am now putting his 12-18 month clothing away at an alarming rate. I get constant comments from people, “what the hell are you FEEDING this kid?” I have a feeling it won’t be long before he’s walking. He loves to walk assisted, holding onto our fingers. He can stand unassisted now for longer periods of time. He’s taken steps ON HIS OWN, which makes me see a need for a pacemaker in my future. He also learned how to climb up the stairs a few weeks ago, and we usually let him practice when we’re hanging onto him, however yesterday, I put him down for 2 seconds and turned around from getting my drink, and he was gone and halfway up the stairs by himself.

Hang on a second, I need to resuscitate my heart…… CLEAR.

Those baby gates don’t work for shit when they’re left open.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a first birthday party to start planning, but not before I go rescue my son from sticking my drooly wet keys in the light socket.

I’m kidding. The house has been baby proofed.


DD January 18, 2008 at 10:48 am

You say “ONLY two” professional shots? I had only one so that makes me suck even more.

I also, in my “perfect first time Mom” phase rejected anyone’s attempt to get my son a chocolate cake or ice cream. I had a carrot cake made, because it was healthier.

The cake was HORRIBLE! and that was one nasty lesson I never will get to redo.

donna January 18, 2008 at 11:04 am

I honestly don’t get first birthday parties. Or 2nd, 3rd or 4th for that matter. If a kid isn’t old enough to have friends they made themselves, then why have a party? Well, I take that back. We had a family party. Lunch, presents, then cake then everyone go home. But it was only for the people (grandparents) who would beg to be there – not the child of every friend I have. We have been invited to those parties too and we just make polite apologies and don’t go.

Ms. Pants January 18, 2008 at 11:30 am

Heh. Go zoom!!

As for photos–dude, y’all have the mamajama camera. (Heh–that rhymes!) It’s pretty close to professional when you two are snapping shots of him with that doodad. So eff those soccer moms.

ewe_are_here January 18, 2008 at 12:28 pm


My 2 1/2 year old had his picture taken professionally ONCE, on the morning of his 1st Birthday.

I suspect Baby Boo will be the same. As for a first birthday party for him, well, I’ve always felt 1st birthdays are primarily just for families to celebrate because a one year old is not going to get it. Heck, they don’t necessarily get their second birthdays!

And I wish you luck when he starts walking… Baby Boo started before Christmas, and the bruises that boy has accumulated from some rather spectacular falls… sigh. Little walking disasters, that’s what they are.

Dooneybug January 18, 2008 at 2:45 pm

Um, yeah well my son is 19 months old and has only had his pictures done once (at jc penny – cheapest deal i could get), on his 1st birthday and my 4 month old hasn’t had any. We have a nice camera so we don’t feel like we need to pay someone else money to take pictures of them. Just on a special occasion like the 1st b-day. And one year old party invites? I don’t want to sound rude but that’s a bit strange to me. We had a party but it was just a family thing. Don’t give in to the peer pressure Statia! :)

Steff January 18, 2008 at 4:36 pm

Wow…that was really fast!

Why do pro-pics when you take great pics anyway?!?!

First birthday parties are really for friends and family, the babies are just like “special appearances” because they usually conk out before its even over! Ya know from all that cake!

Lenni January 18, 2008 at 5:50 pm

I can’t believe its been nearly a year. amazing!

Jenn January 18, 2008 at 6:42 pm

I miss the little baby stage, but I have to say, I am loving this age so much more. SO much more. They are just incredible.

Suz January 18, 2008 at 8:51 pm

We got “professional photos” done at some mall place, but they weren’t very good so I buried them in the back of the closet. I’m not sure what sort of parent that makes me. And yes, this stage is scary, but we’re getting used to it. You will, too.

Helen January 19, 2008 at 6:05 am

Yeah, no professional photos done here. None planend either, except for a family photo with Angus’ family that is going to see me heavily self-medicate.

I also don’t get the birthday parties. The twins were invited to their first ones (we weren’t invited, just the babies. Guess I just have to see them off at the train station then, they can hitchhike to get home). I’m with Donna – they’re so young, is it necessary to go through the hoops at this age? That said, apparently we’ll be expected to have a large first birthday party, too. Enter self-medicating again.

Jen(aside) January 19, 2008 at 9:32 am

I’ve had professional pictures done once for my son and thought it was a waste of money. My daughter has never had professional pictures taken. Just to make you feel better.

amber January 19, 2008 at 10:55 am

Up until Elizabeth started in pre-k, she had a total of one professional photographs done, and that was more because my mother was adamant about it and ended up paying for them.

Meredith January 19, 2008 at 11:12 am

Ah…first birthdays. Mr. Pithy was asking me yesterday when we were planning Finn’s party and I’m all like “what party?” Honestly, this might make me a truly terrible parent, but I don’t quite get it. Finn isn’t going to care about presents. I’m not feeding him cake. And I don’t want a bunch of folks to feel obligated to buy him stuff. Mr. Pithy says that I’m a horribly person, btw. I say that if we had family nearby it would make more sense.

Oh, and I’ve only had Finn’s portraits done twice. Both times at Olan Mills, which is pretty skanky.

Pamela January 19, 2008 at 2:36 pm

The most important part of the first birthday is the cake…

Remember, he will wear it with pride, so make it something fun, like chocolate cake and icing!

It’s soooo fun to watch!


Pro pics?
That Christmas one was top notch!
Can’t hire that kind of personal originality!

Tonya January 19, 2008 at 5:19 pm

Let’s see… baby #1 was professionally photoed up the yin-yang. #2, not so much (once in 18 mos.) I’m their personal paparazzi, so I think that counts. ;-)

My favorite response for “What are you FEEDING that child?” [which is HILARIOUS considering he looks like a 1 Y.O.] — ‘oh, he mainly gets growth-hormone laden, highly-processed prepackaged foods with only the best hydrogenated fats and refined sugars.” Either they get it, or they don’t.

Tonya January 19, 2008 at 5:23 pm

And, as for the first BDay party, is the Mini the kind of kid to take a roomful of people all singing then looking at him expectantly as the most wonderful thing ever, or will he burst into tears? We overdid it with #1, but #2 was perfect, just a few friends/family and it was actually fun and relaxing. Do what makes YOU and the kid happy– he’ll never remember it and the cake pix alone will be what he wants to see of the big event down the road.

jesser January 22, 2008 at 12:15 pm

Gawd, I’m sooo with you. I keep getting the “when’re you going to have another one??” And I’m all like, “yea, this one just got easier. I’m taking a bit of a break!!” My best friend keeps saying she “treasures” the new born days. Yea … they’re sweet and all, but it’s so exhausting and demanding. And I need my sleep!!

As far as b’day parties go, we’re having one, but I haven’t planned a bit of it either. We’re mainly having one because all of the inlaws are flying in (oh shoot me now). And we have absolutely NO professional photos of her … and I have no problem with that. She’s well photographed.

Tabby weighed in at just over 18 lbs on Sat which is probably diminished somewhat because she has been sick and not eating a whole lot.

We’re not quite to the AED around here yet. She is crawling up a storm but hasn’t yet touched the stairs … and I’ve just recently seen her brave cruising from object to object. Of course I keep getting the opinion that it’ll be “any day now” but we’ll see. She doesn’t seem in a huge hurry. She’d rather eat and flirt.

shanna January 22, 2008 at 1:18 pm

We did the big first birthday party thing, just two days ago, but that’s because we love throwing parties. Kids couldn’t have cared less, except we let Rafi shove one hunk after another of cake into his mouth. Carrot cake, but I assure you it was not even a little bit healthy – I just like it better. They can have chocolate cake when they learn how to ask for it.

Also – one year old today, and szero professional pictures. Oops. Oh well.

shanna January 22, 2008 at 1:20 pm

Oh yeah, and: We started planning the party (beyond picking a date) about two and a half weeks in advance.

Also, I wouldn’t really call us baby-proofed, so I stand in admiration of your togetherness. We only put up a gate for the kitchen last week, and there are still un-baby-proofed outlets in the living room.

AJ January 22, 2008 at 7:05 pm

My 10-month-old has been walking for a month. It’s alarming and sooo sad. But, I guess he’s gotta grow up! The coolest thing is how he gets cuter everyday. It’s stunning!

No parties here. I’m thinking the three of us will attempt our first real vacation. No stress there … but maybe it will take my mind off the fact that my baby is turning one. (in two long months!) *sob*

geeky January 23, 2008 at 6:23 am

I can’t believe it’s been almost a whole year!

robyn January 23, 2008 at 8:29 am

As a professional baby photographer, I had to stop reading the comments here about 5 down or I was going to need that defibrillator you referenced myself… ;-)

Karl January 24, 2008 at 8:35 am

Yeah, shame on you for not immortalizing yet another human larva in pictures. :-) I thought we were past all that, silly me, and now our friends are crowing over *grandchild* photos! Gah! I don’t have the heart to tell my friends that the grandkids are just as ugly as the kids were at that age, 24 years ago…

Deltus January 30, 2008 at 10:53 am

Keep the birthday party relatively simple. He’s only 1, he’s barely aware of what’s going on with regards to a party anyway. At this point, they’re more for the parents to show off anyway.

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