Finding My Groove

by statia on December 7, 2007

I keep trying to find the time to sit down and write something. I have all of these thoughts floating around in my head, but I can barely put a sentence together these days, much less form a complete thought. But I’m going to give it an attempt, and try not to give myself a brain cramp in the process.

Originally, I was going to tell you about my experience with Kashi Go Lean Crunch, despite the blaring warning from my pal Buzz. I know that you expect to come here and read about all things poop and believe me, I’ll get back to it, because it warrants its own entry.

Instead I’ll tell you how I feel as if I’m struggling to “Find My Groove.” I put that in quotes because it coincides with my new job. My new job, since I haven’t mentioned really anything about it, is in sales, which is my expertise, for an online parenting magazine. Finding this job was kind of something I did on a whim. I wasn’t ready to go “back to work.” I’m enjoying my time home with the Mini. I think that if it’s something you want to do, and something you have the means to do, staying home with your child is one of the best gifts you can give your child. I know that not everyone has that luxury, nor does everyone want to do it. A lot of my working friends wonder how it is that I haven’t gone insane. Oh, if they only knew.

These days, my life is full of flip flop moments*. I get frustrated very easily. I get pissed off at stupid things like my toast ripping because my butter isn’t soft enough. It’s retarded.

But anyway, back to the whole job thing. I believe it came along at the right time. It’s a little overwhelming right now, but getting a whif of the fresh meat that is getting a sale? It’s a high that I can’t believe I missed. I was really burnt out on being in sales when I left my last job. I thought it was something I’d never want to do again. I guess it’s ingrained in me. We’ve hired a part time sitter come in, so that i can at least get on the phone during the day, but I can still get my son in the morning, I can still give him lunch, and I can still spend the majority of my day with him. It’s having the best of both worlds and while I knew it existed, I thought it would be impossible for me to find a set up like this.

When we first moved back, I was going insane. I was really excited to get back to the area, where I had my old friends, familiarity, and where I felt most at home. I was surprised at the fact that I barely had time to get together with a lot of people. Most of my friends have no kids or their kids are older. My life is such a different dynamic than it was 3 years ago. I refused to not get involved. I’m not a playgroup kind of person, but I did manage to find some great people with kids around the same age, and they’ve been a lifesaver. I’ve reverted back to being a social butterfly.

My life is so busy. So much so, that sometimes I wish it would slow down, so that I could take a moment to breathe, but at the same time, I finally feel as if I’m home again, and I wouldn’t trade that in for the world.


* When Kathy and Reilly came to visit, he’d get pissed off when he couldn’t get my flip flops to stay on his feet. To us, it was comical, but to him, it was the end of the world. Frustrations in life are now referred to as “flip flop moments.” You had to be there.

{ 6 comments }

Faith December 7, 2007 at 1:00 pm

I have a special reaction to Kashi Go Lean Crunch as well. It’s officially my favorite new cereal…which I have only had one bowl of. It was delicious, but it was a rough, rough day after that.

Sounds like the Groove will come into place soon enough. I love that you can tell us about it, though…

donna December 7, 2007 at 3:28 pm

That is so wonderful! I’m glad you found a situation that affords you the best of both worlds.

We just signed Bridget up for Mother’s Day Out which she starts next week. I’m sure I’ll fall apart since I’ve never left her with anyone but my parents or my SIL but I’ll get over it and I’m sure I’ll come to wonder “Is it Tuesday yet???”

Dooneybug December 7, 2007 at 9:17 pm

I hope it’s what you need to feel more complete. We all need a little identity outside of motherhood, you know?

Tonya December 7, 2007 at 10:51 pm

Glad to hear you’ve found a working arrangement that is making you happy. Being exclusively SAHM can be crazy-making (at least it was/is for me at times), and I’m a bit envious (but very happy) that you’ve found a way to make it work.

Deltus December 10, 2007 at 8:02 am

You just do what makes you happy. I have to remind myself sometimes that life is a pursuit of happiness.

PiquantMolly December 11, 2007 at 8:50 am

Spreadable butter with canola oil. Seriously.

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