Wing and a prayer

by statia on September 21, 2007

When we found out that the Mini was on his way, I waited awhile to obtain any pregnancy books, and even then, I only bought two. Your pregnancy week by week, and Pregnancy sucks. As I browsed the pregnancy section, my mind went into this numb haze. There’s a book on possibly on every aspect of pregnancy. And when the Mini arrived, I browsed through the childcare section in a mind numbing haze again. I settled on one childcare book. One. The book whose predecessor I vehemently eschewed as nothing but pregnancy nazi propaganda. I use the book as a sort of guideline. Other than that, I really have no books, because while I love to read, I would rather read for enjoyment. I finally got to the point where I’m stressed out enough as it is. I don’t need to go wandering the aisles of Borders and work myself up over what a book tells me is the best way to raise my son. There’s too much conflicting information. As hard as parenting is, I use my own gut and common sense to blindly guide me and I don’t think I’m doing too bad of a job, as much as I may beat myself up about that.

I’ve just come to the realization that most of this gig is going on doing what is right for you, within the limits of, you know, not feeding your infant diet coke and candy. Or giving them lines of coke. Or porn.

This stems from this whole napping issue that is killing me. Where I feel like there’s some big puzzle piece that I’m missing somewhere. I think it lies within us finding what works best for all of us, which just may take time. I can’t find out this information in a book. Especially when a lot of the books go so blatantly against my core being. There’s approximately 8,352,198,044 books on how to get your infant or toddler to sleep. Let’s say that half of them believe in crying it out. For arguments sake. Every bone in my body just cannot get on board with that. Letting him fuss for ten or fifteen minutes is one thing, but when he cries, it’s gut wrenching, heaving sobs. And I may be dead and German inside, but that just breaks my cold dead heart. No matter how frustrated and pissed off I am. He sleeps great at night. Eventually, he’ll learn to sleep during the day too, or maybe he just won’t need as much sleep during the day, who knows. I have enough vodka to last me through the toddler years.


becky September 21, 2007 at 9:23 pm

maybe our cold dead german hearts can have that drink together sometime.

i hope the nap thing works itself out. wish i had something that could help (besides whiskey tit). heh.

Jill Gresens September 22, 2007 at 6:15 am

Un-lurking because I feel your pain. I find it downright evil to let them cry it out, so naps were non-existent for us ’till we started co-napping in my bed together. Hell, whatever works!

I know you’re not really looking for advice on good baby books…but…go to borders, get a cup of coffee and page through the Bill/Martha Sears series. The Baby Book was my bible for the longest time. They’ve got one about sleeping if you’re really feeling desperate. Good luck!

donna September 22, 2007 at 6:34 am

You are so right – what works for one family may not work for others so how can any book promise results for everyone?

Just out of curiosity, does he nap anywhere? I just wonder because my nephew would only nap in his bouncy chair in the living room for months – I’d say maybe six months before he’d nap in his crib. I have no idea what caused him to finally decide that a good nap in his crib was a fine idea, but it did eventually happen. I was his care-giver then so that was wonderful day for me, as well.

Hang in and keep the Grey Goose flowing. For you, not Mini. Or maybe…? Nah, never mind.

Jenn September 22, 2007 at 7:23 am

I bought three pregnancy books and one parenting book, baby 411 which was more health related like when to take your kid to the doctor and “here’s how not to kill them” not actually parenting.

I like what Moxie says about crying it out. Some babies release tension by crying, they are good candidates for CIO. Others gain tension by crying and CIO will only make it worse. I have one of each and they switch it up of me.

It really is about what works for you and your kids. There were times when CIO was the right thing for us to do and it worked beautifully and there were times when it absolutely was not the right thing.

Good luck with the sleep.

erica September 22, 2007 at 9:44 am

Y’know, now that you mention it, the only baby book I reference anymore is Your Baby’s First Year for Dummies. I can’t wait till he grows up and I can tell him his mommy is a dummy!

Beth September 22, 2007 at 10:10 am

Mia took her first real nap at, oh, nine months-ish? I thought it was going to kill me, but as it turns out it didn’t. Quite.

Steff September 22, 2007 at 2:32 pm

I hated Baby Books, either I was certain everything they mentioned was going to happen or was happening to us or I was disappointed if I could not do it exactly like the book recommended.

Only you all know what will work and that itself is full of trial and error.

Do the best you can, even it requires more Vodka!

shanna September 22, 2007 at 6:15 pm

My daughter is also (usually) a good nighttime sleeper, and goes back and forth between being a good napper and not, between needing to cry for a few minutes and turning into a totally inconsolable mess after thirty seconds. If you want random assvice, email me, but I’m not going to leave it here unsolicited. Here and now, you just get commiseration. I’ll have Scotch, though.

Tonya September 22, 2007 at 9:44 pm

Ahhh, a well-timed alcoholic beverage… hits the spot. Except at 3pm, right when I find I’m near my breaking point on the bad days. I feel your pain, and wish I knew of a way to get your little guy to give you a break during the day.

Is it an option to get a babysitter in for an hour or two once or twice (or more) times during the week? Not getting any break makes being a SAHM a bit of a mind fuck at times (I know you know what I mean).

Kathy September 23, 2007 at 8:53 am

You’re a good mommy… what works for some might not work for others. Just do what works for you and eventually, you’ll wake up one morning and realize he’s a toddler and is flushing your car keys down the shitter… and your napping woes will be a distant memory as you sweatily plunge your toilet.

Eff books in the pooper.

Deltus September 24, 2007 at 8:49 am

“sweatily plunge your toilet”


Seriously, that whole book thing with pregnancy and having a wee one is, for the most part, a huge scam that makes millions of dollars every year.

Tanya September 24, 2007 at 9:24 am

Crying it out worked like a charm for my baby sister. She’d be out like a light in about five minutes.

On the other hand, I was sixteen and she wasn’t my kid, so it wasn’t nearly as traumatic as it is for you.

How about what Tonya said? Can you get a sitter in, just for a few hours?

Minawolf September 25, 2007 at 5:36 am

One of the big issues I had with my son not napping is my lack of free time. But I actually found that I “can” do things I want to do even if he’s not asleep. Just by letting him play by himself or babble back to him while I get things done. But then, I’m still learning how to get use to being a mommy and finding time to be myself.

michele September 25, 2007 at 1:57 pm

okay, okay. no advice here, none. I had one child that never napped, ever, until he was about 15 months. My 23 month old is turning into a raging nightmare/non sleeper. It’s frustrating when they NEED the sleep, but don’t WANT to sleep. I got a book, read it and it really did help my first one. I am re-reading it as we speak to help with the second one. “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Marc Weissbluth. Not that I have any advice…

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