Open letter

by statia on September 4, 2007

Dear Apple:

Fuck you. Fuck you right in the cornhole. Sideways. With a pick axe. Whoever coined the term that “Macs make sense” better go into witness protection, because you’re on the list of “people to kill.”

Fuck you again,


bitca September 4, 2007 at 7:43 pm

hahaha!! I love you, man.

DD September 4, 2007 at 8:06 pm

You mean that brand new birthday present is giving you a wee bit of a migaine?

Merrin September 4, 2007 at 8:15 pm

Ahhhh….I see you’ve hit the “MacWall”. Don’t worry. It’ll go away in about a week, and then you’ll love your Mac again. It took me about 2 months, but I swear to God? I’ll never go back.

BJ September 4, 2007 at 8:38 pm

Amen Sister! Amen! I am just not a fan…I know that makes me just about equal to the anti-christ, but I’m just not impressed.

Julie September 4, 2007 at 8:53 pm

Why?! Please tell me why? I feel that way about Dell and all PCs and am going to be purchasing a Macbook in the very near future. Please share.

MsPrufrock September 5, 2007 at 1:21 am

You’re being very aggressive, mmkay? You’re a mommy now, and mommies don’t swear or threaten to kill.

Rob September 5, 2007 at 4:12 am

I double dog dare you to do a google image search for cornhole fucking with a pick axe. In fact, I triple dog dare you.

Helen September 5, 2007 at 4:33 am

“And take your fucking hick cousin iPod with you!”

Suz September 5, 2007 at 6:26 am

Bwhahahahaha! I could say the same thing about my brand spanking new Dell.

Camille September 5, 2007 at 6:44 am

I hated mine at first too. Now I will never go back. I converted my husband, and we converted Kevin & Merrin both. Give it some time.

geeky September 5, 2007 at 7:01 am

Did you try to turn on an iMac and couldn’t find the power button? Because I did that one. Intuitive my ASS.

robyn September 5, 2007 at 7:19 am

What Merrin said. Shall we remind you of the great TiVo review you gave a couple years back new out of the box? ;-p

ssfb September 5, 2007 at 10:50 am

oooo I can’t wait to hear what this is all about! :)

Deltus September 5, 2007 at 11:50 am

Can’t find anything? Just doesn’t work the way it should?

Yeah. Macs do that to people.

Chris September 5, 2007 at 12:18 pm

Don’t hold back Statia. Tell them how you really feel.

Erin September 5, 2007 at 2:37 pm

I now must make sure my husband doesn’t see this post of yours because I am dying for a MAC!!

buzz September 6, 2007 at 3:11 am

I’m guessing you’re having a wee problem with your new toy?

hehe…I said ‘wee’.

jesser September 6, 2007 at 7:06 am

hahahahhahaha. you’ve got me all curious like now. i’m sure i’m going to be drawn and quartered for saying this, but i just don’t get the mac luv thing. i had to use on of those damned things in a graphic design class in college and i swear i almost pitched it out the window … and it wasn’t because i wasn’t used to it. it was because it was slow as hell and crashed and lost half of my work about 10 times in 10 days. not that PCs are better. just (usually) cheaper. but i hope you’re luvin your laptop again soon, no matter the brand.

Chris Vicious September 6, 2007 at 7:27 am

It’s intuitive for non-geeks. Probably not so much for those who are already used to Windows.

I like Macs because I get my sweet, sweet, BSD, but it actually *works* as a desktop.

Quit whining.

Tom Bux September 6, 2007 at 10:54 am

Ah, the Macwall. Once you stop thinking left brained like a Dell wants you to think you’ll love your Mac. Just go on instict and you’ll get far ahead in macdom.

Donna September 6, 2007 at 6:27 pm

There’s the Statia we all know and love! I see there’s still a bit of that cold, hard German left after all.

Steff September 7, 2007 at 7:04 am

Ok, we are seriously considering going over to the other side, now I am scared.

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