Floaters

by statia on June 27, 2007

I have so much shit floating around in my head. I don’t know where to start.

Ok, so, I don’t know if anyone has noticed this, but I swear…. a lot.

I know. I KNOW. You never would have fuckin’ guessed it, from this fuckin’ blog, would you?

I happened to currently live around the corner from one of my old co-workers, that I worked at the job I had prior to moving to California. Two of the people in my office nicknamed me “Spaishy.” I’ll leave you to figure out why. Anyway, she was/is, like my surrogate mother. She always said “Spaishy, you need to stop swearing so much. I’m going to make you pay me every time you swear.” To which I said, “fuck, that. I might as well take out a line of credit for that.” And now she totally gets on my ass for swearing so much. “Spaishy, you need to stop swearing in front of the baby.”

And this time, she’s right. Both the Meester and I are horrible when it comes to the language. I mean, we never expected to end up with a baby. And theoretically, he’s still a little too young to understand that it’s bad language. But I don’t need this kids first word to be fuck.

Speaking of, this kid is going to be four months old in a week. What.the.fuck? ….oops.

Also? He’s currently sleeping in my closet. Our house is finally being painted, and they started on his room, so in the interim, we gave him a “room” in our room. He’s right at home, since his old room was probably the same size.

Little known fact about me. I suffer from insomnia. Prior to getting pregnant, I took a bevy of medications at night to go to sleep. The problem is, I can’t take them, or I would never hear the Mini at night. So I’m kind of stuck right now. It’s wearing on me, and one of the reasons, you haven’t heard much out of me. I have just enough mind power to take care of the mini.

And one last thing. The g-man has what we’re referring to as The Festering Tail Wound™. We’re guessing that it occurred during the drive out here, and that the stress of the drive made him chew his tail. He gets stressed easily these days, you know, since someone came into the house and knocked him to the bottom of pecking order. Anyway, I figured it was just as simple as he’s chewing his tail, give him medicine, he’ll stop, it’ll heal.

I heard the words “possible malignancy” and well, the reality of the fact that he’s no spring chicken anymore makes me sad. Now, it’s not definite. They just want to keep an eye on him, given his age.

As much as the Mini has become my sole focus, I’m not really ready to let my first boy go.

{ 13 comments }

Camille June 27, 2007 at 9:21 pm

“He’s currently sleeping in my closet” – that is hilarious! I used to use the F work ALL the time before G came along. Now, I rarely curse at all. Even when he’s not around. Its become old hat for me to use clean words I guess.

Gina June 27, 2007 at 9:36 pm

Calvin did the tail thing. It turned out to be separation anxiety (I know, whatever). Don’t worry to much yet, they always make it sound awful. Heck, I cried the first time I bought mature dog food.

MsPrufrock June 27, 2007 at 10:13 pm

The Dude and I are trying to curb our swearing as well. Fucking shit bollocks wank asshole is it hard.

Anita June 28, 2007 at 5:41 am

Ah dirty words.

What some people don’t realize is just how versatile a four letter word can be. Verb, adverb, noun, pronoun etc.

I’m sure the mini’s first words will not be ‘fuck you Fucker.’

But it would be fuckin’ funny if it was.

robyn June 28, 2007 at 6:15 am

We had good intentions on curbing the swearing thing, too. By year three that just never fucking happened. The one time (about a year ago) our oldest repeated daddy, I quickly answered, “YES! AFLAC!” And he totally bought it and started saying “AFLAC!” Phew.

Chris June 28, 2007 at 6:52 am

Mia is now in the phase in which she repeats everything. I’m scared shitless I’m going to slip and all she’ll be able to say for a week is “fuck.”

Jenaside June 28, 2007 at 7:23 am

I curse a lot. My son started saying a few words, and I just calmly told him, “Nate, those are mommy’s words. Not Nate’s words.” He hasn’t said them again. I’ve also been trying to cut down on the swearing – but swearing is just so much damn fun.

Nate’s 3, in case you wanted to know. ;)

geeky June 28, 2007 at 8:02 am

If I ever have a kid, it’s first word will definitely be “fuck”. It will just be unavoidable.

Sorry to hear about G-man! Our family dog is growing lumps all over. The vet biopsied them, but it came back inconclusive. We’re not sure if we’re going to have them removed yet. He’s going to be 11 soon, but I swear, it feels like he was a puppy just a few years ago. *sniffle*

Deltus June 28, 2007 at 8:16 am

Not swearing in front of the kids was hard for me, too, but I eventually did it. When they’re not within earshot, I swear still though.

But if they start saying swear words, here’s my advice: punish them. It ain’t fair, it’s a double standard, it’s giving them mixed messages, it’s not practicing what you preach, all that is true. Doesn’t matter. My kids may not swear, and that’s just the end of it.

Faith June 28, 2007 at 10:59 am

“He’s currently sleeping in my closet.” Like I’ve always said…the closet is the perfect place to keep the kids. I don’t know why more people don’t do it. Lives would be MUCH MORE fullfilling if they did…

My sister used to put her daughter down for naps in the closet. Given, it was a walk-in at dad’s house, which is like a normal-sized room in most people’s homes, but it was also windowless, cool, and dark. Put the kid down in there, and she was always asleep right away.

Our dog doesn’t care if we cuss. Haha. :P

And I’m sorry about your concerns about g-man. I love my dog more than just about anything (shh, don’t tell the fiance!), and it would hurt a lot to see her hurting in any way! Best wishes to you guys in his recovery…

Merrin June 29, 2007 at 9:54 am

I am mortally afraid that my future child’s first word will be “shitfuck”.

ciz June 30, 2007 at 9:56 am

hey, shit happend :) …. dont worry its part of growing up.

poor doggy …….
i will be out there in Aug. its for a quickie wedding but maybe i can do a drive by ;)

Teenuh June 30, 2007 at 10:33 am

I laughed when another blogger’s site had a link to a site that does blog ratings based on content. She was bemoaning how her blog was only rated PG so I thought “Hey, I bet I know whose blog would be rated R…” So I entered your blog address and voila! An R rating. Teehee. Anyways, the link is here: http://mingle2.com/blog-rating

And I am very sorry to hear about your elderly dog. I am going through the same concerns about being to the stage of needing to let go of my 18 1/2 year old cat and it is just breaking my heart. So I completely sympathize.

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