Permanent hand cramp

by statia on April 26, 2007

When they say you sign your life away upon buying a house, they really mean that you’re signing so many damn pieces of paper that your hand will permanently reside in the hand writing position forever. I really had no idea. Who would have thought that all of that legal mumbo jumbo would waste that many trees. Are there really even that many words in the English language? Fucking christ. And really, does anyone but lawyers really read that stuff? I mean, do home buyers really read every last word of that? Because I think my brain suffered a short circuit somewhere just watching that shit print out on the printer. I can’t even read an entire article in People magazine, my attention span is so short.

What was I saying again?

*cue hazy brain*

Needless to say the home buying process is coming along swimmingly. Our realtor, bless her bad driving soul, must be so happy to not be running all over gods creation looking for a place for us to live. Especially two of the pickiest assholes on the planet. Now if everything goes according to plan, we will be out of here around the 25th of May. Which means, I have less than a month to pack up this house, which usually, wouldn’t take me more than two weeks, but with an infant that refuses to be put down (like most infants), this is posing to be a bit of a problem. Needless to say, opening the boxes on the other end will be just like Christmas. Surprise, there’s our can opener, and oh hey, right next to a pair of my flip flops. I was looking for those.

Our new house, resides (I didn’t really mention where we were moving, did I?) just outside of Philadelphia. Close to where I lived prior to moving to the festering hellhole that is the bay area California. It’s more fucking house than I could even dream of ever owning. This isn’t a starter house. This is a “hey, we’re in our late 30′s early 40′s and are old hats at this home buying thing and are finally able to afford a middle/upper class 4 bedroom home” kind of house. We are, if nothing else, extremely lucky. And not a day goes by that I am not appreciative of that.

It feels so weird to know that in a short month, we’ll be headed east coast bound. To live, forever. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it.

It feels good.


Tracy April 26, 2007 at 6:27 pm

Are you extremely lucky enough to hire movers that will pack for you? Oh, and unpack too?

Jonathan April 26, 2007 at 7:12 pm

Just keep an eye on Gromit, you’ll have everything packed up and the next thing you know the dishes will be back in the cupboard. Good luck with the move.

becky April 26, 2007 at 8:36 pm

cool. good for you three!

can’t wait to get out of hellifornia myself. but it’ll be at least a year. so wishing we had a house to sell to make the move easier. oh well. hopefully we can build something in the next few years, or just find something fabulous to buy.

Tonya April 26, 2007 at 8:41 pm

Have you acquired a baby-holding device such as an Ergo? As someone who’s moved twice with a 5 week old and then with a 5 month old, I feel your pain. It was the only way I could cope– saddle up the babe and pack/move/unpack, etc. I am so excited you finally get to return to your old stomping grounds and to your very own home!

robyn April 26, 2007 at 9:28 pm

Knowing me, I’d pack the baby and accidentally put the Itzbeen in the carseat… Good luck with all that. ;-p

MsPrufrock April 26, 2007 at 10:29 pm

East Coast, reppin’! The West Coast sucks, so I’m pleased to hear you’re going home again. Philly too! Hey, wanna pick us up from the Philly Airport when we come to the States in July? Yeah, thanks.

MsPrufrock April 26, 2007 at 10:30 pm

East Coast, reppin’! The West Coast sucks, so I’m pleased to hear you’re going home again. Philly too! Hey, wanna pick us up from the Philly Airport when we come to the States in July? Yeah, thanks.

K&M April 27, 2007 at 2:06 am

Yay for the house! But I must warn you, you will be terribly close to my evil in-laws. Stay away from hospitals that begin with “A” as the evil MIL is a big wig there. She might try to suck the soul right outtta ya. Also certain “60 second” print shops could hold danger. Good luck with the move!

geeky April 27, 2007 at 5:43 am

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay! When you get there, mail me a cheesesteak, stat. Because I know you won’t have anything better to do when you get there, like unpack or anything.

Lisa April 27, 2007 at 6:38 am

How cool! Congrats! – Parents, homeowners, the sky’s the limit for you! And I’m laughing at myself because through the whole post all I could think was “no more trekking all over California trying to find a real cheesesteak.” Ha! I think Mini is the perfect age for moving; he’s too young to want to have a say in things and big enough to be cute and a nice distraction when you need one. :)

Helen April 27, 2007 at 7:30 am

Can you make one of the spare bedrooms into a mattress only room, so you and the Meester (and me, when I come visit) can spend our time bouncing off the walls?

Tell me the idea doesn’t appeal a little bit.

tricia April 27, 2007 at 8:28 am


Julie April 27, 2007 at 10:42 am

First off, CONGRATULATIONS on your beautiful son. I am so happy for you both. I know it has been a loooooong time, but better late than never! I moved home too!! I have been here for two weeks. Couldn’t take the damn midwest any longer. FUCKING MIDWEST. Anyway, Bob got a transfer and I am in the job search mode. We are currently staying with my father (don’t get me started) until we find something more permanent. CONGRATS on finding a home! Well, best of luck on the move. (I drove 10 hours straight, by myself, with a dog – so I can kinda (stress kinda) realate!

Lisa in NJ April 27, 2007 at 1:41 pm

hey Julie,
We are next to each other. I’m right in good old NJ. Hi!!!!

Camille April 27, 2007 at 2:16 pm

woo hoo!!!! I see cheese steaks in your future.

bitca April 27, 2007 at 3:48 pm

Damnit!! Get ova heah. NOW.

watson April 27, 2007 at 5:33 pm


Is it near Bucks County? That’s where my husband grew up! But I am a born and bred Calif. girl!

And yes, oddly enough you CAN pay me in cheese…but nothing too strong.

Or better yet, why don’t you Fed Ex me some soft pretzels once you get there, we have nothing like that out here

milllie April 27, 2007 at 10:37 pm

Congrats on the house! We definitely have to all get together before you guys leave.

ciz April 28, 2007 at 11:24 am

YEah mail me pretzles, cheese steaks,perogies,pork roll,scrappl and someone who knows how to fucking drive !! lol
i love the “mattress only room ” :) ~
i love philly ( home) but i also love CA ….if PA was warm all year round i would be there though

buzz April 29, 2007 at 2:15 am

Speaking of scrapple, when should we start planning the scrapple and haggis extravaganza?? That should be superfun!

Well, until all the vomiting, of course.

just another jenny April 29, 2007 at 5:45 pm

A big girl house and cheesesteaks? You must be heaven.

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