Just call me Donna fuckin’ Reed

by statia on April 23, 2007

Today was my first day flying solo as a parent. California is very nice with the paternity leave, so I’ve had the Meester home for the last 7 weeks(!!) enabling us to play “pass the baby” on a regular basis. You might wonder how in the hell we haven’t killed each other in that time.

He might be dead, but I’ll never tell.

No, seriously, we actually enjoy each others company, so while yes, it was stressful, it was nice to hang out together on a daily basis. But as all good things must come to an end, it was nice for all of us to have him go back. I need to get the hang of this stay at home mother thing at some point. And there was no other day that seemed better than starting schedule boot camp. I’ve unintentionally gotten the Mini on a nighttime routine and it’s worked out well for us. He’s been going down around 9pm every night, and staying asleep for 5-6 hours at a clip. Wrap it up, I’ll take it.

Anyway, I’ve discovered something about myself today.

I am a fucking supermom*.

I managed to shower, shave my legs**, fold laundry, call the insurance company, get dressed, and even put on makeup! All while the Mini was doing his morning 30 minute power nap. Then I went to the “big baby superstore” and lugged out 70lbs worth of formula cans all whilst wheeling around my sweet sleeping infant.

Granted, I folded the laundry naked with a toothbrush in my mouth, but you know, I’ll take what I can get.

On top of this, all of the paperwork that you need to sign to even START the home buying process, makes my asshole pucker way up into the sub cockles of my colon.


*tongue in cheek people. Seriously, because really, I think support hose are really uncomfortable.

**this goes out to my two best friends who constantly love to bust my balls about how there will be no time to shave my legs once you become a parent. I say good day sir.

(but to your credit, I only shaved up to the knee, because today was only shaving up to the knee day).

{ 14 comments }

Tracy April 23, 2007 at 4:54 pm

Hah. Wait a few months. Then the shaving becomes more about whether or not you have the energy than the opportunity.

Erin April 23, 2007 at 6:05 pm

Go you! You’ll get the hang of the stay at home thing in no time. It’s rare that you don’t have time to shower, shave, get dressed, etc. That’s what you DO when the baby’s napping!

Kathy April 23, 2007 at 6:23 pm

*shaves*

robyn April 23, 2007 at 7:47 pm

You’d better be glad I’d just swallowed (heh) because that last sentence SO would have caused a spit-take.

MsPrufrock April 23, 2007 at 11:15 pm

Nine months in and I still don’t know where my makeup bag even is…

Lenni April 24, 2007 at 6:43 am

7 weeks paternity leave is awesome! I thought my company was generous with its 5 days paternity leave. I’m so glad you guys got to spend so much time at home with the Mini!

jesser April 24, 2007 at 6:49 am

Hmm… how did you guys luck out like that? Tho we live in CO, hubby works for a company in San Fran (as in he never goes to an office here and flies there 1x/month!) and he got nothing like 7 wks!! Believe me, we asked. Didn’t really matter a ton since he works from home anyhow, but still!

Tanya April 24, 2007 at 8:36 am

Dude, you’ve only been doing this for seven weeks, and you’ve already figured out how to schedule in shaving your legs?! Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t a fucking supermom.

moi April 24, 2007 at 9:25 am

holy supermom, batgirl. I got tired just reading what you did in 30 minutes. I barely get that much done in a week. Is it naptime yet?

just another jenny April 24, 2007 at 9:42 am

When I managed to seperate an egg white from the yoke while holding a 4day old baby I felt like an effing superstar. It’s amazing how the little things can make us so happy.

Dooneybug April 24, 2007 at 9:47 am

So jealous of that paternity leave!! My husband gets 2 days. TWO DAYS of paid leave, the rest he has to use vacation time. That’s bullshit.

Dude, you rock! I often miss those early days of being able to tote the child around pretty much wherever without having to worry about naptimes and a gamot of food stuffs to take along. When they’re so little you can take them pretty much anywhere and they sleep.

Faith April 24, 2007 at 10:45 am

Wait…we need to shave above the knees? I don’t get it…

All of that in 30 minutes? Bravo, sista. That’s heroic to me, even, and I don’t have a kid!

Linda April 25, 2007 at 12:12 pm

You’re the first person that has said that real estate makes their ass pucker. Too funny! It’s given me irritable bowel syndrome, but I haven’t gotten a pucker out of it yet. :P

Hey, I’m a real estate broker so if you need any help let me know. Happy to help you and the meester.

becky April 26, 2007 at 8:40 pm

sooo, hubby will have time off, but unpaid. we’re probably going to visit family just as soon as we can.

but hey, i may have to call you for advice on how the hell you schedule all of this. get ready… around thanksgiving, ‘k? ;)

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: