Women need MEAT.

by statia on March 29, 2007

Several of you mentioned in the comments of the Boniva entry that you hated the Quizno’s commercial with the annoying lady who says that women need more meat, followed by her incredibly annoying laugh that makes you want to pry your ears off with a fork and then beat her within an inch of her life,

Err, I mean, uh, yeah.

Dudes, seriously, I can’t tell you how much we agree and how much we HATE the shit out of that commercial. My whole body goes into cringe mode the minute it turns on and every single time it comes on, I brace myself thinking that maybe this time she won’t make so much of an ass out herself on national television. But she always does and I always want to punch her in the face. Things never change. In fact, the Meester hates that commercial so much that in a fit of rage, he emailed corporate headquarters and told them that if they wanted to keep their customers, they really should think about pulling it off the air.

The Meester, is if nothing, effective and should it get pulled, you all can lift him up over your head and chant. MEESTER MEESTER MEESTER, over and over again.

Besides Sally Field and the meat lady, who else is pissing you off in commercials these days?


Amber March 29, 2007 at 9:40 am

That stupid BABY BELL cheese commercial (my my my baby, my baby bell!). You know the one with the parachute guy chasing after his cheese and then a kid with a remote-control truck eats it. That song had been in my head since October. That commercial plays all the time. Sometimes it plays twice in one commercial break. That stupid mullet-wearing kid drives me nuts with his smug cheese chewing. That commercial made me eager to go back to work.

Jen March 29, 2007 at 9:56 am

The PC/MAC commercials. They make me weep. I HATE that PC guy. Argh.

Random Lurking Jackass March 29, 2007 at 10:01 am

Same commercial with the meat. I hate that motherfucker that goes “Prime Rib is the Uber Meat.”

I wanna punch him in his fat uber head.

Faith March 29, 2007 at 10:36 am

I JUST SAW that Quiznos commercial for the first time last night, and finally figured out what everyone over here was talking about the other day! (I have Tivo, and don’t often watch commercials unless I’m at the gym…they tend to not play Quiznos commercials during the 5 a.m. – 7 a.m. news hours, I’ve noticed.)

But like I said the other day, I hate that birth control commercial based loosely on a conversation that *might just* happen FOR REALZ during a girls’ night out at a dance club. Stupid, annoying, and stupid some more.

donna March 29, 2007 at 11:17 am

The pepto commercials where the people act out the various stomach ailments that pepto is supposed to cure. Thank you, but I don’t grab my ass when I have diarrhea….

Merrin March 29, 2007 at 11:29 am

The “have a happy period” commercial. Really? A happy period? Fucking please.

DD March 29, 2007 at 11:30 am

I just saw one that I think was for birth control. Girlfriend A shows up at a club where Girlfriend B and C are sitting. She tells them about her exciting new birth control, and then GF A goes into the disclairmer speel as if she’s saying this off the top of her head, b/c OMG! Isn’t she so smart since she has a medical degree? which GF C thanks her for getting.


EJW March 29, 2007 at 11:34 am

I’ve got two, although I think one os defunct.

The damn Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots commercial for some monster truck drove me insane. It was on during every break in football, I swear. Thankfully, that’s over for another few months (the commercial, not football. I love football.)

Wrse, though, are the Activia commercials. It’s yogurt, people. It all keeps you regular, it’s all got live cultures in it. That’s how yogurt works. Plus, who discusses their GI issues like that?

bunter March 29, 2007 at 11:56 am

Size 2 woman from the nutrisystem commercial – where she talks about her husband having his wife back and her having her life back. I want break my TV when it comes on.

grace March 29, 2007 at 11:58 am

Every kiss begins with Kay!

Need I say more?

Kathy March 29, 2007 at 1:06 pm

I hate the meat lady. I want to shove that sandwich up are anus.

You know what else pisses me off? The Quiznos commercials that had that creepy talking baby. EW. And the weird talking animals. Quiznos are almost as annoying as the Old Navy Christmas commercials with that old lady with the big glasses.

Kathy March 29, 2007 at 1:13 pm

And any commercial dealing with feminine hygiene products. Happy period this asshole.

Ms. Pants March 29, 2007 at 2:08 pm

I don’t understand how two dudes who accidently brush lips whilst eating either end of a snickers can be pulled for being too gay but “Real women need MORE MEAT!” isn’t pulled for being kinda hate-oriented. I mean, I can see it as anti-gay.

I see it more as anti-annoying-lauging-whore-bitch-who-needs-to-be-thrown-under-a-large-bus but it could also be anti-gay. I’m just sayin.

I can’t do the pedigree commercials with the adorable dogs behind the fence at the pound. They make me cry.

buddha March 29, 2007 at 2:08 pm

Hate the commercial for the new pregnancy test. Out of the clear blue sky comes a stream of pee that hits the end of the stick…WTF? Flying pee?

Ms. Pants March 29, 2007 at 2:10 pm

Oh!! And no more stupid disarono on the rocks with the bitch sucking the ice cube that doesn’t melt.

And no more of the bailey’s guy who can’t take ice out of the bucket. It was funny until I noticed he actually measured out ONE SHOT and at the bottom it said “one serving” and then sat his happy ass down with a straw and the ice bucket. ONE shot in an ice bucket wouldn’t even cover the bottom, bitch!

Melissa March 29, 2007 at 2:27 pm

I hate the stupid cave man Geico commercials……”It’s so easy a cave man can do it!”……hate it, hate it, hate it!!

robyn March 29, 2007 at 2:31 pm

Heh, looks like I was ahead of my time bitching about the ‘happy period“… ;-)

Pamela March 29, 2007 at 3:20 pm

I live in Japan, so I’m not hip to the commercials in the States.
But believe you me they have MORE THAN ENOUGH assholiness to go around here…

The one commercial that really gets on my tits is a diamond jewelry company called “Camelia Diamond”.
Diamonds are not annoying as a rule, but when they’re called “di-ya-mondo” and a diamond encrusted necklace with 3 huge 10 carat “diamondos” is placed on a dithering douchebag of a model, who has an expression on her face like,
” What is this cold sensation on my neck ? ”
I want to rip the TV out the wall.

And, the backround music is so goddamned offensive.

Different cultures,
but stupid shit is universal…

just another jenny March 29, 2007 at 4:09 pm

Unless you watch Canadian tv, you have no idea how bad commercials can get. Advertisers don’t spend as much money on us so a given channel will play the same effing commercial every single break because they have just a few adverstisers.
When I watch Amercian tv, it’s all the damn life insurance and debt consolidation commercials – they drive me nuts.

geeky March 29, 2007 at 4:21 pm

if i didn’t already refuse to eat at quizno’s soley because their commercials are so terrible, that “more meat” lady would have made sure I did.

and for the record, i hate the “happy period” commercials too. even if periods were covered in chocolate, they wouldn’t be happy.

linda March 29, 2007 at 4:52 pm

Girl, you have GOT to get TiVo. Never watch a screwy commercial again! :P

waiting line March 29, 2007 at 6:05 pm

I HATE, LOATHE and CRINGE at the Olive Garden commercial where the mom walks up to the hostess and says she’s on a date with someone who is “oh about 3 feet tall and probably has his shoes untied,” and then you hear a little boy shout “MOMMY!”

It’s too g*ddamn OEDIPAL for me! Yuck.

becky March 29, 2007 at 11:03 pm

definitely the meat lady. i want to smack her.

also? every carl’s jr commercial ever made.

becky March 29, 2007 at 11:05 pm

oh, i second the geico commercials, too. both the caveman AND the annoying gecco (i liked the old voice better).

moi March 30, 2007 at 6:32 am

thankfully I haven’t seen any of these commercials. they sound… awful.

amy t. March 30, 2007 at 7:35 am

Screw the happy period. There is a much more annoying commercial for feminine shit. It’s the lady in the grocery aisle trying to convince you how dry that brand of pad stays. And she’s asking people to touch it and then she’s patting it on her clothes… The whole thing is creepy as hell. I’d run down the aisle and out the store if someone approached me like that in a store.

Lisa March 30, 2007 at 11:03 am

I want to cram that prime rib sub right where the sun don’t shine the next time she giggles. Good lord.

Donna March 30, 2007 at 11:48 am

*happy jingle singing* Freeeeeeee credit report dot com! ARG

Ms. Pants March 30, 2007 at 11:57 am

We have one out here where three chicks are laying out in the sun (in full clothing, of course because everyone wants THOSE tan lines along with their cancer!) when a water tower busts. One chick does a Matrix style move and holds herself all anti-gravity in the air, posed with a fucking MAXI PAD in her hand to stop the water tower leak.

When she’s finally collected all the leaky water, she sits back down and holds the pad out for her friend WHO RUNS HER HAND ACROSS IT and marvels at how dry it is.

I’m sorry but WOMEN DO NOT FEEL EACH OTHER’S PADS!!! It grosses me right the fuck out.

Ari (Baking and Books) March 30, 2007 at 3:38 pm

OMG I hate that commercial! Just the mention of it makes me cringe. However, I am relieved to know that the hubby and I aren’t the only ones who want to smack that woman upside the head. :)

Z. Hendirez March 30, 2007 at 4:49 pm

Ditto the Quiznos, though I do like PC/Mac

On the same Sally Field vein, I hate the commercial for the herpes drug Valtrex, where everyone goes on and on about how inconvenient the disease is and how this drug helps.

And I all can think is, if you’d been just a bit more discriminating about your sex partners, you wouldn’t have gotten it to begin with.

Annastazia March 30, 2007 at 8:28 pm

Good God, can the damn Geico cavemen go extinct already? Please?

I second that pregnancy test commercial with the Massive Fire Hydrant Stream O’Pee On A Stick. The force of the stream is so strong it splashes back off the stick and goes everywhere. Massive pee splashing, people. What the hell were they thinking in production on that one? “No, no, no. This is all wrong. We need more piss!”

Oh, and “Disarono on the rocks” can suck it, too.

billfry April 1, 2007 at 1:04 pm

women do need more meat.what do you think they mean when yhey say, is that as big as it get’s?

Ice Queen April 2, 2007 at 8:26 am

Head On apply directly to the forehead!
Head On apply directly to the forehead!
Head On apply directly to the forehead!

missy April 2, 2007 at 8:08 pm

OMG the amex commercial where the dude goes to buy his fiancee a massive rock, but his card is declined, and the fiancee suggests that he should call american express instead. HOLY COW BITCH, why dont you get a smaller freaking ring he can actually afford instead of starting your marriage off in debt….

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