Insomnia and contractions: both bullshit, both getting me nowhere.

by statia on February 26, 2007

Insomnia has kicked in (and the first person to tell me that it’s my body’s way of preparing for sleepless nights, gets punched in the neck, and the coccyx, because I am very cranky and also lacking lots of sleep) and with being in the homestretch, this pisses me off. I’d like to say that it’s because I had to get up and go to work today, but it’s been like this all weekend. It’s not so much the discomfort, because while I’m uncomfortable, it’s bearable right now, which I’ll take. I just wake up and that’s it. So I stare at the ceiling and whine and sigh loudly. If Mama ain’t sleeping, ain’t nobody sleeping. Emails between Vanessa and I are something like this:

Took a 3 hour nap today. Can’t stay awake.
Me: For the love of fucking christ, if I knew I’d be able to sleep, I’d go find a supply closet somewhere and take a nap.

Clearly I’m jealous, as that was one of my favorite first trimester perks. The napping.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve had increasing Braxton-Hicks, which is to be expected. Generally they’re not bothersome, but now they’re being replaced with the painful kind and um, OW motherfucker. They contain no pattern of regularity at all, so they’re clearly there just to remind me that “hey guess what? there’s a baby in there, in case you forgot.” All I have to say is thank GOD for c-sections. That and natural childbirth is so not my bag.

Other than that, I’m getting no action other action. No droppage, and no mucous plug lossage, which is really a damn shame because the Meester was so looking forward to that (that’s a blatant lie, he hates blood, and has told me that he refuses to look. But I have tricks up my sleeve, just in case).

Is it me, or have I been pregnant forever? Because I think by the time Fetus is born, it’ll be time to go off to college.


jen February 26, 2007 at 5:47 pm

I never got to experience ANY of that. No BH contractions, nada. I went two weeks past her date. She was just NOT coming on her own. Pfft. I totally thought I was going to be pregnant forever.

Tracy February 26, 2007 at 5:52 pm

I was going to say…you don’t get to bitch ’til you’re a week past due. Then I remembered the punching in the neck and coccyx thing, so I’m just going to shut up.

Maybe if you punched the meester in the stomach every time you had a contraction? Just trying to help… :-P

Brandi February 26, 2007 at 5:58 pm

Screw the books…coming here tells you the REAL stuff about pregnancy!

Camille February 26, 2007 at 6:55 pm

Would it piss you off if I tell you I didn’t have braxton hicks, nor did I feel any of my contractions that were less than 5 minutes apart until they gave me pitocin – because they were freaked out that I didn’t feel them. If so, then I won’t tell you that and I’ll just say sorry you’re not sleeping and that your body is beating you up.

Donna February 26, 2007 at 7:21 pm

Ahhhhhhh, mucuous plugs!! *Runs screaming from the room.”

OK, I’m better now. That just grosses me out, I don’t know why, you’d think after all the crap I’ve been through I’d be fine with all things pregnancy and baby. Guess not.

Vanessa February 27, 2007 at 12:30 am

I’d comment, but I’m going to go take a nap instead.

Lori February 27, 2007 at 1:02 am

I think you need some frosting. I found copious amounts of frosting helped ease the “mild” discomforts of pregnancy.

ewe_are_here February 27, 2007 at 1:12 am

heh heh

I have to say, you sound rather like me at the moment. 38 weeks, 2 days and whining incessantly for him to get the hell out already! (Don’t kick me, but at least I can say that mine dropped Saturday!)

ewe_are_here February 27, 2007 at 1:12 am

heh heh

I have to say, you sound rather like me at the moment. 38 weeks, 2 days and whining incessantly for him to get the hell out already! (Don’t kick me, but at least I can say that mine dropped Saturday!)

Kathy February 27, 2007 at 5:33 am

I can’t believe how close it is! Eee!

Molly February 27, 2007 at 5:34 am

Menopause is all that and so much more. Just replace the Braxton-Hicks with leg cramps and the water retention with fat, add a hot flash every 5 minutes and sleep that eludes.
I completely remember thinking that the pregnancy would never end and I was destined to be uncomfortable forever! Hang in there, Girl. You’re almost there.

Minawolf February 27, 2007 at 5:34 am

Honestly, I totally know what you mean about not being able to sleep. I’ve like NEVER had that problem before. What really sucks is that it doesn’t stop you from being tired all the time!

jesser February 27, 2007 at 6:35 am

They should really stop telling you that you’re full term at 38 weeks, cuz it’s like the ultimate psych out. Jerks.

I have days (and have had them since about 36 wks) where I just have contractions all day. Some of them hurt. Some of them don’t. They’re not regular or (if the cervix checks mean ANYTHING) apparently doing much. As I said to little one the last time this nonsense started up, “We both know you’re not coming this evening, so let me have some sleep, mmmkay?”

Ms. Pants February 27, 2007 at 7:49 am

The plug crap kinda squicks me out. But I suppose it’s worth it in the end when they hand you the baby you’ve been belly-baking for the last million years.

Dude, elephants gestate for 18 months. How much would that suck?!

Faith February 27, 2007 at 10:30 am

I was gonna say, haven’t you been prego for about 2 years now? DAMN, woman!

Coccyx! Heh.

Sometimes I wonder if the severe pain of holding in gas at one’s desk can be compared to anything like braxton-hicks, or something like that. Since I never plan on going through this sort of process, you’ll have to bear with my stupid-ass thoughts like that now and then…

robyn February 27, 2007 at 10:53 am

Well Todd never had to look at my plug, but he did have to sniff my undies and play the “pee or embryonic fluid” home game when my water broke with T. Ahhhh, good times. I still don’t think he’s forgiven me for that. ;-p

Sami February 27, 2007 at 11:21 am

Here’s hoping that the sheriff comes to evict fetus soon. You would think they’d be breaking down the door to get out by now wouldn’t ya? Good luck and hang in there…

Audrey February 27, 2007 at 2:42 pm

People keep telling me to “take it easy and get lots of sleep.” Apparently, the dark circles under my eyes aren’t clueing them into the fact that I haven’t slept well in months now. And I totally agree with you — a nap would be great, if I was guaranteed some sleep!!

Hang in there — we’re both in the home-stretch now, although you know when your little one is arriving and I just keep on serving up the eviction notices. Also, if you could send some of those painful contractions my way, I’d really appreciate it (no pain, no gain, especially for us natural childbirthing mamas!).

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