I’ll take things that are dangerous to pregnant women for 500, Alex.

by statia on February 13, 2007

I did something last night that warranted an award for Best Comedy.

I took a bath.

I haven’t taken a bath, probably since my second trimester, mainly because it was like wrestling a wet pig. But last night, I wasn’t feeling all that hot in the contraction arena, so I decided to make an attempt to take the edge off with a nice warm bath.

Do you know that when it feels as if someone inflated your entire body with fluid, that it makes it nearly impossible to sit down without creating a tidal wave? Yeah, I didn’t either. Let me tell you how bizarre it feels to sit when you feel like you’re a sausage. It feels BIZARRE. Not to mention, the water just barely covered my legs.

People, if it weren’t for the fact that I found this so damn hysterical, I would have probably cried. But seriously, it was all I could do to just not piss myself laughing at what a sight this must have looked like to my husband.

(note: I did not pee in the tub from laughing so hard)

I thinking it’s a good idea to stick to showers until after Fetus is born.


Vanessa February 13, 2007 at 10:54 am

Dude, you know you totally spent a penny in the tube. Don’t lie to me. I know the type.

(Also? Your wet pig comment? It made me think of Steel Magnolias, and you all Looks like two pigs fightin’ under a blanket.

Beth February 13, 2007 at 11:26 am

It is, if you can still fit in the shower. I got to the point where I had to open the door to turn around.

Audrey February 13, 2007 at 11:52 am

Someone asked me the other day if I was taking baths, as they were her favorite pregnancy relaxation tool. I laughed, as baths have been too uncomfortable since my belly won’t go beneath the water…I’ve taken to standing in the shower and letting the water pelt me. I’m looking forward to the labor/birthing tub at the hospital even more now!!

Wet pig — too funny!

Ms. Pants February 13, 2007 at 11:54 am

Heh. The tidal wave imagery made me giggle.

Camille February 13, 2007 at 1:15 pm

I have no words….

Chris February 13, 2007 at 2:02 pm

If you have to pee yourself, really, the tub is the best possible place, I guess.

Lut C. February 13, 2007 at 2:27 pm


Linda February 13, 2007 at 5:38 pm

That is too damned funny! Mental note: buy house with huge tub before we get this far.

Erin February 13, 2007 at 6:19 pm

Unless you’ve got a giant jacuzzi tub, sticking to the shower is probably the best plan. I tried taking a bath in our (absurdly small) bathtub in my final few weeks and it was just sad.

donna February 14, 2007 at 5:54 am

Too funny. Isn’t it cruel? The one thing that could make your aching ribs and back and legs and all that feel better is almost physically impossible to accomplish.

I took a bath the night I got home from the hospital after having Bridget and almost cried, it felt so good to be submerged in the water again. Almost, anyway….

Emma B February 14, 2007 at 3:00 pm

I loved baths at the end of my pregnancy — I spent pretty much that whole last week wallowing in the tub. It was the only place I was comfortable, because the water took off some of the weight of my giant belly (and giant everything else, since I was a sausage too).

I do have a huge jacuzzi tub, mind — I seriously doubt I could have gotten my hyooge self into a regular bathtub. I also didn’t even try to get into or out of it without assistance.

waiting line February 14, 2007 at 4:19 pm

What a sight!! ;-)

Minawolf February 15, 2007 at 7:26 am

I have a bigger sized jacuzzi tub as well. My issue is trying to get out without falling flat on my face…

mel February 15, 2007 at 1:35 pm

I don’t believe it! I’m gonna need to see some photos :P

Amyesq February 15, 2007 at 5:31 pm

Wow, that you even allowed your husband to see that is proof of true love. Am really cracking up at the vision. Was thinking “Ha! I would like to see that!” then thought, “No, no I am sure I would not.” Heh.

Hope the contractal-type area is doing better, though.

Hetty_Fauxvert February 15, 2007 at 7:08 pm

Heh … you made me laugh, which hurts right now! (I’m at 32w w/ twins, otherwise known as the ginormous phase.) I don’t dare take a tub bath now — it would take three men and a boy to haul me back out! But I invested in a shower chair and it is DIVINE. I sit in the chair and angle the shower so the hot water hits right on my huge belly. This really helps with my Braxton Hicks contractions. Feels like heaven with the angels singing!

Pamela February 15, 2007 at 8:30 pm

Have you experienced the “stretching fetus” in the bath?

Like, it’s a tight squeeze for you, as the pregnant mom, to get in the bath, but when the baby starts to stretch while you’re trying to get comfortable in the bath, it is too funny, ( and really peculiar feeling!)

A new day is a brand new sensation, huh?


The Meeeester February 20, 2007 at 12:07 pm


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