My Everything Hurts

by statia on January 23, 2007

Thanks for all of your thoughts on the whole Miss M. situation. Our main goal is to get her comfortable around people. Even though I’m worried about the baby issue, I’m not as worried as I am when we have people over. Scratch that, I’m fucking STRESSED when we have people over because she’s stressed and she carries on and we try to get her to shut up, and well, let’s just say that after that, we’re all sitting around in a circle playing poker for valium. Good times. We hired someone to come in and help us get over her fears. She gave us some tips prior to her visit as my cousin was out last weekend and I think it was a success. Dare I say Miss M. even misses her? My goal isn’t to get her to love people. I just want her to be less stressed. Ambivalent, if you will.

My shower was this weekend, and we got lots of loot. I swear I will never need another onesie again, for the rest of this kids life. I’m addicted to them, and now I have 77 million to ogle and gush over. We also got a bunch of shit that we needed and stuff we didn’t need but you’d have to pry it out of my head lifeless hands to get it away from me, including this from the crazy Pollmans. Not only will I be able to tell you when the last diaper change was, but there’s an extra button on there, where you can program when your last whatever was. Any of you who assumed that the “whatever” button is going to be used for the last time Mama had a drink, assumed right. Because that’s exactly what I’m using that button for.

The one thing that is a must, which we didn’t get, but will be marching out and purchasing tonight is a swing. Because for the sake of Mama and Daddy’s sanity, we MUST have a neglect o’ matic. I don’t care whether or not your kids hated theirs. I get that there’s a chance of that, but until we have it road tested by fetus him/herself, we WILL have one in the house prior to his/her arrival. Next stop, the battery factory.

Also, I didn’t get a chance to post pictures, but if you’re interested in Fetus’s digs, you can see the set here. Not much to see, but it should assuage your voyeuristic tendencies.


Michele January 23, 2007 at 12:47 pm

you MUST get a cradle swing. My first son hated swings and we had a stupid forward and backward one. My second son loved the cradle swing! Side to side is the way to swing, plus they fit in it so comfy, how could they not love it!

Merrin January 23, 2007 at 12:57 pm

Nah. It’s only a neglect o’ matic if you plop the kid in front of the TV for 3 hours in the swing while you sleep. Swings are AWESOME!

donna January 23, 2007 at 1:08 pm

May I recommend the swing that has the ability to plug into the wall AND use batteries? We have the Fisher Price rain forest one and we have yet to have to use the batteries. You can neglect for hours!

Dooneybug January 23, 2007 at 1:14 pm

I still use the swing at 7 1/2 months so I can take a shower without wondering where he’s rolled off to.

That itzbeen thing looks really neat. I’m sure it will come in handy during those first two weeks of dazed and confused.

DD January 23, 2007 at 1:22 pm

We had the swing that would activate with noise. That should give you at least an extra hour or two. You could program THAT on that crazy ITZBEEN contraption. OCD has hit high-tech.

PS: I knooowww whaaatt youuu’rre haaaaaving – tee-hee! You’ll have to email me for the tip-off.

Erin January 23, 2007 at 2:19 pm

Yeah, definitely the swing is a must. Kids generally grow out of it/won’t put up with it after about 4 – 5 months or so but believe me, I wanted to kiss that swing during those first few months. It was a total lifesaver.

Lisa January 23, 2007 at 5:05 pm

What a great looking room! What a lucky baby you guys are having. :)

Donna January 23, 2007 at 6:31 pm

That crib is total kick-ass.

waiting line January 23, 2007 at 7:07 pm

I have no clue but it does seem that the swing is a must. There are so many to choose from, though! I say an entire post related to recommended swings (with pics) is in order. ;-)

An fetus’ digs are way cool. He/she will be stylin.

Kara January 23, 2007 at 7:28 pm

I second the swing. and the cradle swing as well. We didn’t get one, thinking that our kid wouldn’t like it. Well, needless to say, there was a late night trip to target for daddy and a very rough 40 minutes for mommmy while she waited with the wailing child who would only be soothed by manually swinging her to and fro. That got old real quick.
As soon as her little pasty butt hit that swing bowl, she was was a happy tiny baby. As were mommy and daddy. We wiped each others tears and swore if we ever met the mom (it had to be a mom) that invented the swing, we’d both service her sexually. That is, if our child was sleeping peacefully in her swing…..

robyn January 23, 2007 at 7:54 pm

I hope that Itzbeen is as cool as it looked – we had to do all that chart-type crap on Post-Its for our ped. and this looked so much easier. N would only sleep in his swing the first 2-3 weeks — total lifesaver. He was done with it by 4 months old. But T used his ’til just past the 1-year mark. There was one nap a day he had to have and would only take it there. It was the only time he used it, but what a glorious 90 minutes it was. I’d get a shower. :-)

Minawolf January 24, 2007 at 5:29 am

I agree with Donna. I saw one that had both features (plugging into the wall and batteries) which is what I put on my registry. It seems that the major complaint people have on the reviews is that it eats up the battery too fast anyway. As far as the Itzbeen, it’s funny that you are already so attached to that. My best friend was already asking me if I’m going to be a psycho (anal OCD type) mom like she is too. She’d be all over that thing.

jesser January 24, 2007 at 6:17 am

That itzbeen thing is hilarious!! I should show it to my hubby, but of course, he’d prolly rush out and buy one. We love gadgets, but we’re awful at using them consistently. The room is looking great! Not much longer now …

Tanya January 24, 2007 at 6:58 am

We got my niece one of the swings you wind up with a crank, back in… 1996. Heh. Electric sounds much nicer, but even the wind-up one turned out to be a lifesaver.

Love the sleigh crib. It’s really beautiful.

Camille January 24, 2007 at 8:06 am

oh hell yea you need a swing. I agree that the cradle ones are awesome. We had one and G loved it. Our friends had one of the other ones and when we told them about the cradle they bought one and it worked like a charm. Now, about that gadget from the Pollmans….I didn’t even know that thing existed. That is cool!

Faith January 24, 2007 at 10:48 am

In our family, all of my nieces and nephews had two neglect o’matic destinations…one was the swing, God bless it. The other was the little vibrating chair/hammock thingies. Those are awesome. They need to make them for grown ups, dammit. (Not that one would fit into the decor in my house, but maybe if I have the finished basement/playroom thingy one day…)

I can’t WAIT for my wedding showers. Free stuff rocks, yo.

Beth January 24, 2007 at 11:41 am

Must have that little gadget – how else am I to build my tolerance back up to my martinis if I don’t know when I had my last one. Thinking of you and missing you Statia!

millie January 25, 2007 at 10:54 am

Love the nursery.

Can’ you download the info from the Itzbeen? For truly OCD types. Or does it just store the most recent info?

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