Processes and Procedures

by statia on December 12, 2006

One of the things that is so great about the human race is the complexity of our emotions. There aren’t many species that have the ability to emote the way that we do. And everyone is different in the way that we process things. It doesn’t make any one of us right or wrong in the way we process things (unless of course you decide that the way you process your emotions is to go postal on the freeway for three weeks and just randomly kill people sniper style, but I digress). We’re all wired so completely differently.

I’m not by nature a crier. The running joke is that I’m German and German’s are dead inside, and sure that’s funny and we all laugh, but really, it’s just not the way I deal with being upset. Not because I don’t want to cry or because I think it’s wrong, I just wasn’t built wired to cry I guess (much like Mac in the picture). And I’ve come to realize that it’s ok and when I actually DO need to cry, it’ll happen all on its own and I’ll feel better and be on my merry way. Others cry watching Hallmark commercials and that’s ok too. I will still love you if you cry watching an AT&T commercial. I swear.

The same goes for stress and worry. I tend to deal with stress better than I give myself credit for. I process it into energy that makes me feel as if I’m a 33 record on a 78 speed (us old fogies will remember what records are). I can’t say I like the stress part, but it comes in handy at times. Worry on the other hand I process like I’m telling the corniest jokes on the planet. This is my coping mechanism. Flying somewhere? I will make completely off colored jokes to deal with the worrying. And you know what? It totally works for me. You can’t change what’s deeply rooted in you, so you work with what you have.

It’s no different, in dealing with Fetus. I spent years worrying, wondering whether or not we’d ever get here, and now that we are, and it’s a dream come true for us, it’s scary as shit. And I’m glad to know I’m not alone. It’s extremely hard to not worry about something that’s beyond our control. But in this instance, you can’t not worry, as you’re responsible for a human life. So, Fetus, I’m sorry that you’re parents are kind of baby retarded. At least we have the ability to make fun of ourselves for recognizing that. Even with the off colored jokes, I know that you’re going to grow up very well. Also? You’ll have our awesome warped sense of humor. Which both your dad and I think is pretty damn cool.

{ 9 comments }

Jenaside December 12, 2006 at 9:43 am

I worried a lot before my first one. I knew nothing about babies. I was 19. I don’t think I’d ever really even held a baby before. But you know, my son has turned out great (I think). And I didn’t kill him, thank god.

Also. Warped senses of humor? SOOO a requirement. When I was holding a vomiting child as my boyfriend’s sister was staying at our house, I kept asking questions like, “What did he eat for lunch? This looks like broccoli and cheese! Oops, there’s a bit of ham.” I was consoling him, covered in regurgitated food, giggling at how freaking disgusting the whole thing was. His sister? Well, let’s just say I think my children and I one of her forms of birth control.

Helen December 12, 2006 at 12:32 pm

And you have an auntie that will be there for you always.

Not that you’ll need her, Fetus. You have cool parents that I love like siblings (hell I love them MORE than my siblings). Your mother is my rock, she has a maturity and a grounded sense of loyalty she maintains along with poop jokes and My Little Ponies. There is no one else in the world I would turn to with a problem besides her-she fights battles for me and with me, and for that, I owe you a snowcone, kid.

There’s no one else in the world I’d trust to love and protect you as much as she will. And your mother’s calm is all an act, kid, just know that she’s handling things in her way.

Her way makes my way calmer.

Except during Hallmark commercials, of course.

Helen December 12, 2006 at 12:33 pm

PS-a sense of humor does get you through. I’m no mother, I’m just a stepmother, but I can tell you that while holding bags beneath the face of a vomiting 13 year-old on a 12 hour flight, jokes got her and I through it. It’ll do the same for you.

Lenni December 12, 2006 at 2:38 pm

What a well-written post. I have to say, I’ve spent a lot of time recently worrying about things beyond my control, and this helped put some perspective on that for me.

Congratulations that you’ve made it this far!

Amy December 12, 2006 at 2:42 pm

:::Sniff:::

Chris Vicious December 12, 2006 at 3:29 pm

I still think you’re dead inside.

Jenaside December 13, 2006 at 12:42 am

Helen, is not a stepmother a type of mother? Therefore, I think you can most definitely classify yourself a mother. Don’t sell yourself short. And the girl? Even the girl is digging on you. I think you are in the clear on that count.

geeky December 13, 2006 at 9:56 am

I’m not a crier either (as you know), and when I get stressed, I clean. We all have our own ways of coping, and I think using humor is one of the best ways. You guys are going to have an awesome kid.

Steff December 14, 2006 at 8:20 am

There are going to be lots of mistakes and lots of getting things right combined with lots of love and humor it’ll all be good!

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