For Otto Titsling had found his quest: to lift and mold the female breast

by statia on November 14, 2006

For many women, pregnancy brings forth the blessing of finally having a decent sized bra cup. The women who have spent insane amounts of money on the perfect bra, finally have their prayers answered. New fun bags for the husbands to play with. Everyone wins!

People like me, they don’t win. Because people, I’m pretty well endowed to begin with. Those who have seen the boobiethon pictures and KNOW that they’re in fact my boobs, will tell you that I’ve indeed gotten my grandmother’s spectacular rack. But really, this isn’t me bragging right now.

The rack growth has brought me considerable amount of discomfort and frustration. No longer can I fit into the cute Victoria’s Secret Bra’s and look all pretty. No, I blew through those sizes two months ago. What I have now resembles something like a kevlar vest. I bought the neat invention of a bra extender and yet, I still feel as if my ribs are being crushed. And what’s worse is that they just won’t stop growing. They’re like marshmallows in a microwave and with 3.5 months left, I’m afraid they might explode before then.

That or I’m going to have to go National Geographic on everyone because I’m running out of bras. Triple hooks just aren’t sexy.

{ 22 comments }

Amy November 14, 2006 at 2:46 pm

Embrace the triple hook! I went up to an insane bra size when I was pregnant. INSANE.

Pamela November 14, 2006 at 3:22 pm

Sez you!

;^)

Anyhoo,
Dun worry abouddit, sweetie!

Rub de cocoa butta on de places,
and it all goes back latah,
and then, some 20 years later, it comes back!
heh heh heh HA HA HA HA, I’m having fun now
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Chin up!

Solonor November 14, 2006 at 3:28 pm

Holy exploding gazongas!

Jenn November 14, 2006 at 4:06 pm

Then there are those poor suckers like me who didn’t have a whole lot to start with and didn’t get ANY AT ALL while pregnant OR breastfeeding. I feel somewhat cheated.

Some Girl November 14, 2006 at 4:42 pm

Okay, just so you know, I wear triple hooks most days. And I’m not pregnant.

I was speaking to a friend about her new bras from France. With toille. My tits would bust through toille. I haven’t fit into Vicky’s Secret for years. My rack runneth over and I fear what would happen were I to become knocked up.

Kathy November 14, 2006 at 5:06 pm

You had me at “kevlar vest”.

Kathy November 14, 2006 at 5:07 pm

oh and um… 3.5 months dude. Holy shit.

jen November 14, 2006 at 8:39 pm

I was one of the cheated ones. When I got pregnant, I was all “Yes! Breasteses!”

Nope. Didn’t change a bit. Pissed.Me.OFF.
:o \

Alison November 14, 2006 at 8:57 pm

omg, my STANDARD everyday single girl bra has 3 hooks. IT IS CUTE! I promise. But I’m SO never getting pregnant, if for no other reason than to be able to stand upright. Ha!

Donna November 14, 2006 at 9:45 pm

Huh? What’s the third hook for? I don’t get it. [:o)

Kate November 14, 2006 at 9:48 pm

You suck. That song is the worst earworm EVER. I had it stuck for days last month. Guess what? It’s back.

Jennifer November 14, 2006 at 10:49 pm

I remember the Kevlar vest! … Unfortunately, I’m still remembering the triple hook, as I am currently wearing one.

geeky November 15, 2006 at 6:38 am

heh heh you said boobs. and fun bags.

donna November 15, 2006 at 7:04 am

No, the triple hook is not sexy. Neither are stretch marks on boobs, which I now proudly sport. Lovely. I hope I don’t scare the baby when I try to nurse.

Chris November 15, 2006 at 7:44 am

Gotta say, I’ve never heard the phrase “go National Geographic” before. I think that might be my new favorite expression.

amy t. November 15, 2006 at 8:07 am

I thought of you this weekend when I saw Beaches on telly! And shush. Most of my bras have three hooks.

Jenny November 15, 2006 at 9:26 am

That’s what you get for not being constipated.

Robber Barren November 15, 2006 at 5:02 pm

I know I’ve said this to you before but…out of VS? triple hooks? That’s me…PRE-pregnancy. I’m in a quad-hook 38F now, my dear, and I’m lucky that I have a choice between “white” and “beige.”

hilary November 16, 2006 at 8:05 am

i am delurking. i don’t have the same problem as you (spectacular rack) in fact, the opposite…but all the same, Bravado does an excellent job of making everybody sexy and comfortable, even though you feel like a walrus (on a good day).
they’re still huge bras, but they come in excellent colours and designs. and they fit. my friend was your size and bigger when nursing, and i wish i were kidding. she wore them, before and after baby.

http://www.bravadodesigns.com

hilary November 16, 2006 at 8:27 am

sorry, you’re not breastfeeding, are you? apologies. you can still wear the bras though, they do make a difference.

girl November 17, 2006 at 8:46 am

er yeah, I can’t remember the last time I bought a Vic Secret bra. I generally get my bras at Lane Bryant (best comfort and coverage EVER and they have a kick ass cleavage bra, too). I also have one really expensive bra that I absolutely love by Chantelle. I got it at a shop here in Houston, but I know they sell the brand in other places. I think it was like, $68. It’s the most I’ve ever spent on a bra, but it was totally worth it.

Lyrehca November 19, 2006 at 1:58 am

Just discovered the extender this week after 17 weeks of pregnancy and growing out of my already-large pre-pregnancy cups. I’m so with you.

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