Fatty gets a talking to

by statia on November 15, 2006

Another month, another doctors appointment to check in on Fetus. The inevitable appointment happened today. The one that I knew I wasn’t going to avoid. It was the “you enjoyed yourself a little too much last month” (complete with my doctor making a small space between her thumb and her forefinger) appointment. Translation: Hey fatty, why don’t you stop sticking your head in the candy bowl and maybe get your fat ass out of the house and take a walk around the block once in awhile? And in all honesty, I didn’t even lie about it. Halloween was good to me. And as she so keenly pointed out, Halloween is over, so maybe it’s time to focus on the holidays ahead and try exercise portion control and maybe a little bit of restraint.

And then oh how we laughed.

Other than my rotund stature, everything else is good. Fetus is starting to get snug in there now so there’s no escaping a check of the heartbeat. It’s also time already for me to schedule the lovely glucose screen in the next couple of weeks, which where the fuck did the time go? How is it time for that already? The good thing is, I don’t have to fast (thank dog, because Fatty isn’t pleasant to be around when she hasn’t had a meal), and she’s giving me time to cram my vegetables and other healthy foods so that I have a saving chance of not failing miserably. Or maybe it’s that gestational diabetes just isn’t cool.

I wonder if I could argue that the weight gain is all boobs?


Camille November 15, 2006 at 2:48 pm

the orange glucose drink isn’t bad – except that you have to drink it in five freakin minutes!

Lisa November 15, 2006 at 3:06 pm

Yeah, the drink itself isn’t bad at all. I had gestational diabetes, though, and I almost passed out from the one hour test, which means I managed to avoid the three hour version. Hope all turns out well.

Linda November 15, 2006 at 4:32 pm

You’re supposed to exercise portion control when Thanksgiving is right around the corner? Sheesh!!!

Robber Barren November 15, 2006 at 5:07 pm

Fuck the doctor. (Not literally, of course. Unless you want to. Or you think she’ll help you cheat on the glucose test.) Unless you’re on track to gain 50+ pounds, or you started out majorly overweight, you shouldn’t be fretting about your weight too much. You’re right at the point in pregnancy where most women shoot waaaaaay up…it’ll probably level off on its own, and two months from now, when you’re unable to cram even half a normal-sized meal into your squished-up stomach (let alone delicious banana tempura, most of which I had to leave on the table last night *sniff*), Fetus will have plenty of fat stores to draw off of.

Good luck with the GTT.

Amyesq November 15, 2006 at 5:22 pm

Screw it! How many holiday seasons do you get to enjoy eating with impunity? Eat! You’re too skinny anyway! :) You want I come up there and fix you somethin?

jen November 15, 2006 at 7:41 pm

I think you have a solid argument with the boobage. Hah.

And I guess it is all a matter of taste, but the orange drink? I had to hold my nose and chug. But that is only because 1.) I HATE anything orange flavored, and 2.) I really don’t like anything that sweet.

Erin November 16, 2006 at 5:12 am

Oh, the drink is not bad at all, it tastes sort of like flat orange soda. It’s really small, too, so drinking it in 5 minutes is super easy. You’ll do great. I stressed about it, and once it was over I wondered what the hell the big deal was.

And I agree with the PP – you didn’t start out overweight and it’s not like you’ve gained 50 lbs, so F the too much weight talk!

SSFB November 16, 2006 at 5:59 am

I concur.
My opinion: You worked hard to get here, and if you ever are allowed to eat what you want when you want without worrying about gaining weight it’s when you’re pregnant.
And besides, who exercises restraint around the holidays? So pour yourself another Jones’ Turkey & Gravy Soda, hehe.

jesser November 16, 2006 at 6:20 am

Oh god. You’ve scared me (though possibly not straight *tries to hide bag from donut shop breakfast*). I quake (or the floor does anyhow) to hear what they’ll say to me at the next appointment. Sheesh. Where’s the broccoli?

Steff November 16, 2006 at 8:01 am

Everyone is healthly that is what matters, have some candy! :-)

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