Things that aren’t funny.

by statia on October 10, 2006

I find myself getting more and more moody as sleep has become lacking. I find the whole sleep issue to be a big fight and it’s becoming a chore that I loathe. I’m like a cranky infant that’s so overtired that I fight the sleep. This isn’t funny.

One of the reasons that I’m not sleeping is because my hips hurt. No scratch that, they FUCKING HURT. A lot. Pregnancy books will tell you that your joints start to soften as pregnancy wears on, but they don’t tell you that there’s a good chance that it will cause excruciating pain. It started out as back pain and then magically one night, the searing hip pain was added to the mix. I feel as if someone is ripping my hips clean out of my sockets and beating me with them. This also isn’t funny.

Another thing that pregnancy books will only skim on is heartburn. You may or may not get heartburn. I have reflux on a non pregnant basis. Right now, I’m writhing on the floor like the Medic Alert woman screaming “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.” Except I’m clutching my chest and screaming “MOTHER FUCKER, I THINK I’M DYING.”

Or something like that. The heartburn thing isn’t funny either.

So yeah, I’m not feeling really funny lately. I feel like kicking small bunnies in the groin. No wait, bunnies are cute. Maybe opossums. People better stand back. I’m in a groin kicking mood. And kicking people in the groin? THAT’S funny.


skits October 10, 2006 at 7:20 pm

I like the hurty sounds they make.

jen October 10, 2006 at 7:29 pm

oh the heartburn.. I feel your pain. I could NOT believe how bad it got. I kept telling my Doc that something was wrong, and she’s all “Yeah, you are pregnant. Take some Pepcid..”

Right. Thanks.

The hip pain sucked ass too..but that went away, the heartburn did not, not until I had the baby.

donna October 10, 2006 at 7:32 pm

I am so sorry. It does suck. I fight the heartburn/reflux too. I can’t even sleep laying down anymore and I pop t*ms and p*pcid like there’s no tomorrow, doctor sanctioned, of course.

What’s disgusting? Waking up realizing that your stomach acid is almost all the way up in your mouth and trying to keep from gagging, while also trying to get it to go back down. That happens a couple times a week.

Pregnancy is so glamorous. But not funny. Not at all.

Lisa October 10, 2006 at 7:33 pm

I had hip pain, crotch pain and a popping crotch, so I understand where you’re coming from. I also had horrible heartburn, but it was an effect of the pre-eclampsia/eclampsia/HELLP Syndrome I was blessed with at the beginning of month 8. Yay me. The heartburn stopped within 3 days of the baby being born, so that’s a good thing. I still have the hip/crotch fun 6 months later. Not so fun.

jen October 10, 2006 at 8:46 pm

Oh yeah…vomit-y burps..or vurps. LOTS of fun. That happened at LEAST 3 x’s a week when I was pregnant. I swore I wouldn’t have an esophagus left!!

shanna October 11, 2006 at 6:58 am

I had the hip pain too, it sucked. One thing I did to help at night was to keep a pillow between my knees when I slept on my side. It is hard to get used to it but it sure helps keep the hips in line. I don’t remember the heartburn though but it was 13 years ago that I was pregnant for any length of time. Good luck to you hope you start getting some sleep soon. I miss you wittiness. ;)

heather October 11, 2006 at 10:14 am

i’ve had the hip pain the whole time. i’ve been doing the body pillow between my legs too, and that helped a bit. last night it seemed to get worse though, and i woke up about every 30 min to turn over to the other side bc the pain was too much. i’m starting to think of sleeping propped up on the couch or something…it has got to stop!

stephanie October 11, 2006 at 10:15 am
Manuela October 11, 2006 at 11:01 am

I have the SAME thing… the lower back thing and the SEARING hip pain. When it hits, I can’t even walk.

girl October 11, 2006 at 11:32 am

sore hips – do you sleep on your side? would something like this help to keep your hips and back aligned better?

reflux – can you take Prilosec when you’re pregnant? I take it every day and it totally controls the reflux. I totally get the nasty acid burps if I forget to take it. I also keep Pepcid Complete around for the times when it’s extra bad and the Prilosec just can’t stop it.

Erin October 11, 2006 at 12:01 pm

Yeah, I’ll 2nd (or 8th, whatever) the body pillow offering up some relief. I thought it was a bunch of BS, but I got one and tried it out, and it literally enabled me to sleep months 2-9.

fran October 11, 2006 at 1:15 pm

dude. hate heartburn myself. sorry.

Heather October 11, 2006 at 2:20 pm

I just found your blog and have to say…I hear ya on the hip pain!! Awful. I tried the pillow between the knees last night didn’t seem to help all that much. On to the body pillow I guess, I’m desperate.

kylie October 11, 2006 at 4:22 pm

I agree with all of the above regarding the pillow, it does work and its worth the investment! You may have a nice doc that will give you perscription nexium if you ask…mine did and it worked wonders on the nasty heartburn. Just wait until the little booger lays on you siatic nerve. My entire left leg would go numb randomly. I feel your pain.

linda October 11, 2006 at 8:05 pm

Oh jesus…and I’m paying out big money so I can go through this hell? I already have loads of back pain from 3 formerly cracked vertebrae. All I want to know at this point is this: “Is vicodin safe during pregnancy?”

suzie October 11, 2006 at 8:43 pm

i took unisom for nausea throughout most of my pregnancy, i still puked 2-10 times a day but i slept ok. (when i wasn’t up peeing.) it’s safe, josie has all of her toes and you, my friend, need your sleep for the baby growing AND your sanity.

mo October 12, 2006 at 1:23 am

i hear you on the heartburn thing. and i dont know what its like where you are but all the antacids here? MINT. and i hate mint.

i had my friend send me chewable orange tums from australia and they saved my life. i mustve chewed through at least six hundered of those damn things. havent touched em since, though.

girl October 12, 2006 at 6:31 am

Unisom = Benadryl with a fancy name. ;)

Ornery October 12, 2006 at 9:14 am

Sleeping has become the shittiest experience, EVER, for me, too. The hip pain fucking sucks. The all-over back pain fucking sucks. The groin pain (from widening pubes) REALLY fucking sucks. And if I hear one more person tell me I’d better get all my sleep in now because I won’t get any sleep when the babies come, I’m going to cram my hand down their throat and pull out their intestines by the fistful. That’s funny, too.

robyn October 12, 2006 at 3:02 pm

Yep, I had to trade in my fancy sleep meds for Benadryl both times – might as well have popped Pez. Don’t you just love it when people say “this is just preparing you for when the baby gets here“? Only problem was, I couldn’t lift my legs high enough to kick ‘em in the groin when they did.

Ms. Pants October 13, 2006 at 6:48 am

The word “groin” is funny in general.

Faith October 13, 2006 at 9:17 am

Yeah, I’m soooooo not ever getting pregnant. Ever.


Not unless it makes it more ok to kick people in the groin, though. In that case, I might think about it.

suzie October 13, 2006 at 10:42 am

actually, i hate to be a poop here- but unisom is doxylamine succinate and is one of the very few cat. A meds on the market. Benadryl is diphenhydramine which is pregnancy cat. B- still fine to take of course, but if you’re paranoid like I am you try to stick to the As.

of course i ate sushi and dyed my hair when i was pregnant so basically i just picked and chose where i was careful and who i am to talk? :)

missy October 17, 2006 at 10:11 am

Dude, I hear you on the hip pain. I slept with ice packs under my hips for months. Ice and Benedryl :)

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