The Fetus Mocks us part deux

by statia on October 20, 2006

Today was our big giant level 2 ultrasound. The one where they make sure that the kid has all of it’s limbs and its heart and brain look pretty, along with other such nonsense like the whole gender thing.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all crazy on you and actually TELL you the gender or anything. Yes, we have decided to find out. No we have decided not to blog about it.

Pipe down, pipe down. Look, thus far everyone has known everything about our reproductive life. My uterus and vagina have been an open book for the world to see. We really just wanted something for ourselves, that was ours and not everyone else’s. So Fetus’s gender will remain a mystery to you all until Fetus is born. You get all of the “SURPRISE, it’s a….(insert gender here), and we get to give you something to look forward to.

I will tell you that Fetus looks perfect. No abnormalities or anything. And Fetus has officially made us scared of actually bringing it into the world, because seriously, this kid? Holy fuck this kid is stubborn as hell. The ultrasound took FOREVER because Fetus was not having any part of the dog and pony show. There was one thing that the radiologist needed, a clear picture of the sacrum (the very base of the spine). The money shot? Oh hell, Fetus was all about the money shot. But the sacrum? Oh god, we can’t be showing the entire world our sacrum now can we? In fact, Fetus put its hands OVER ITS ASS for about five minutes to fully make us understand that not only was it NOT MOVING, but fuck off if you think I’m showing you my sacrum. Whores. At one point, the radiologist said “Did that kid just flip me off?”

Indeed lady.

I’m beginning to think that all of that karma my mother wished on me regarding paybacks for giving her hell all of those years are starting to come to fruition. And for that, I’ll be eating as much chocolate as I can between now and March.


skits October 20, 2006 at 5:43 pm

Fetus takes after his or her parents, I see. :p

erika October 20, 2006 at 6:27 pm

It’s a boy. Go ahead, tell me I’m wrong. Or don’t.

Your tone just screams boy. If writing could be masculine, you’ve got it down. :-)

(Or it’s late, I’m tired and don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.)

Vanessa October 20, 2006 at 11:47 pm

Eet ees Franch!

Beth October 21, 2006 at 1:44 am

Fetus is quite the character. Besides, a sacrum is a very prviate thing – isn’t anything sacred anymore? So glad you had a great scan and good for you for keeping a secret that the two of you can enjoy. I may try and bribe you with stickers to get you to spill the beans, however.

mel October 21, 2006 at 6:07 am

I totally thought Boy too! I’m so glad everything is going well :)

donna October 21, 2006 at 6:19 am

I think it’s a girl because she already has PMS! :-)

Congrats on a healthy, happy and stubborn fetus. I can’t wait to find out who was right.

Chris October 21, 2006 at 4:27 pm

I’m glad everything looks good Statia :-)

SarahD October 21, 2006 at 7:58 pm

I bet it’s because Fetus didn’t want you knowing that he/she already had a tattoo there…

Mona October 21, 2006 at 9:56 pm

I am so happy for u :)

girl October 22, 2006 at 7:11 am

So how many e-mails have you gotten so far that say, “Come on, you can tell me. I won’t tell anyone, I swear!!!1111″

Erin October 22, 2006 at 9:26 am

Yup, good luck with that. I think my daughter had a difficult personality from the moment of conception!

Congrats on a fantastic big giant level 2 :)

Donna October 22, 2006 at 10:59 am

A perfect Fetus of either gender is just what we wanted to hear. I heard from someone who was in PA with you that you look great — as if I thought otherwise for a second.

Linda October 22, 2006 at 2:57 pm

Hmm, fetus hides ass. That sounds like a girl who is saying, “Don’t you be looking at my ass!”

If it was a boy, he’d be mooning the radiologist.

SJW October 22, 2006 at 6:48 pm

You call it fetus with a capital “F” like that’s gonna be its actual name or something. Holy flipping Fetus, batman!

Lenni October 23, 2006 at 6:37 am

Haha…that cracks me up that Fetus has your sense of humor already. Congratulations!

geeky October 23, 2006 at 8:15 am

“Did that kid just flip me off?”

hahaahahahaha. if there was any doubt it was your kid, that takes care of that!

fran October 23, 2006 at 8:38 am

congratulations on the healthy baybee news… :)

robyn October 26, 2006 at 7:14 am

I don’t believe I’ll be able to fly off at a moment’s notice and do a newborn session without knowing well in advance which backdrops, cuddlers and props to purchase / pack. So there. ;-p

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